Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

[theduchessstill]

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

The problem is often borne by women - it makes it so much harder to work or or ogress when, quite rightly, the family say why bother, you'll be so much more tired...and for little benefit to our family so you don't and then stay static.

Definitely, go for the promotion. Any future pay rises will be based on the higher amount and all experience will put you in a position to go for further promotions in the future. Any money you can put away for your pension will help in the future and happens before tax so always beneficial. And, if on one salary, you have bought out your ex, are maintaining the mortgage on your home, paid off marital debts you did not benefit from and are putting some away, you should be proud of yourself. Your children will benefit from your example and work ethic, more than they would benefit from you handing them 10K when they graduate.

I am sure you will find innovative ways to make the most of your holidays to supplement your income and find a way to take your children abroad. Stay strong.

So let me get this straight.

You do the majority of the care of the Dcs
You pay for everything they need when they are with you, AND for when they are with their "dad" bar food
You have the responsibility of the debt that you did not accrue
You have to save to pay your ex some kind of settlement when your eldest reaches maturity
Your ex pays for nothing, in relation to HIS dc. Not clothes, packet money, new shoes, uniform, school fees (excursion etc), hobbies....

You weren't badly advised. You were fucking screwed over op.

I still don't understand why you owe your ex, when he hasn't given you a penny for dc, debts he ran up etc.

*youngest, not eldest

I agree with @ForgivenessIsDivine you've done really well and should be proud of the example you're showing your children.

@Worried

"It's not as though everyone on low salaries has just been unfortunate, sometimes they really haven't put the same level of study/commitment in that the higher earners have and I see a lot of envy on here sometimes."

How offensive is that to imply lower earners haven't put the work In! So health care assistants working 50 hour weeks on 16k a year aren't working hard enough? Nurses who have put themselves through uni and are working 12+ hour days on 24k aren't working hard enough either. Paramedics who go out and save lives everyday who start at 22k a year also aren't earning much because of not 'working hard enough'!! Open your eyes, some of the most hard-working people in this country are the most poorly paid. We need to get out of this mentality that low earners are the less educated/hard-working

Well done on your promotion OP. Decide what's right for you and if the cons outweigh the pros then you don't have to take it :)

Salary sacrifice into pension.

I can understand your frustration. I recently chose not to apply for a promotion that became available for a similar reason.

Been in current grade 10+ years so target pay for the grade. No pay progression allowed so would move to base of the next grade and stay there.
I work 4 days per week so taking into account pro rata salary, increase in tax, NI and pension, around £80 - £100 per month better off.
I decided that the increase per week wasn't worth it for all the extra work and responsibilities, so chose not to apply. (Also had a feeling I wouldn't have got the job even if I had applied).
Similar amount extra per month to you, but as our joint salary is only 3/4 yours so relative to current salary worth more.

YANBU to expect a significant increase in responsibility to give a good reward. The choice is whether or not you want to take on the role knowing the benefits are more limited than you would like.

Presumably the ex is a v v low earner, and I am assuming a mesher Order on the house.

As for the vitriol on this thread: how many women do you think are on MN and able to be SAHM Mums because if the salary level that OP talks of? But she has to pay childcare....

God forbid a woman and mother should be qualified and capable of a decent salary and a good promotion, and, who knows, put herself in a position where she could make employment for other women! God forbid a woman should take on extra responsibility, probably extra hours, pay extra tax and NI into the system so that other women might benefit, relieve the taxpayer of any support of her, and only see a small percentage increase in her net income.

For the avoidance of doubt: I earn a lot less than the OP. C’est la vie: I knew that when I went into my field of work.

Take the promo.

Increase your pension contributions to take yourself back below the CB limit.

In 30 years time than your self for working hard and making the brave decision to go for the promo, climb the career ladder and save into your pension.

I just received a 10k payrise (55k to 65k) and it’s only 400ish a month. OH received a 25k payrise (75k to 100ishk) and he gets an extra grand or so a month. Don’t get me wrong I’m not moaning about having that much extra every month but it was a big shock to discover it was only this much from decent pay rises. I’m okay with paying taxes in this country considering we get the nhs, although I’d be much happier paying them knowing we paid taxes into more national services rather than the void of Tory’s tbh. I think I’m mostly butthurt because I’d feel more comfortable paying under a labour government - but we don’t have a choice so it’s a useless moan!

Only 400?!! I'm in a different world...

Well it's not unreasonable to be shocked that a 10k pay rise amounts to 4800. I'd be grumpy about it too.

babbitywabbit I completely agree with your post, but I couldn't have worded it so well.

The system is broken on many levels, I see it from several angles when I sat here for a few minutes thinking of close family members. Whether that's my grad cousin on her zero hours shop work, my other nurse cousin doing exhausting 12hr shifts and not able to afford a car to make the shift work easier, to a sibling in a higher tax bracket who said pretty much the same thing as OP when asked why she didn't go for a promotion at the school where she teaches (it went something akin to, I'm barely coping day to day as it is, they'd have to pay 10x more forme to consider it, and even then how would I juggle the practicalities of the extra hours on top).
None of them is comfortable remuneration wise, not really, not when you think in traditional terms of rewards going to hard work, education and extra hours of effort.... It doesn't work like that any more!!

I want to ask the theduchessstill, why she receives no maintenance for her children? £100 a month is alot of money over 12 months.

OP if you saved your £100 per month, you have £1200 per year for a nice holiday somewhere for a week? Plus as others have said, your future earnings potential will rise. But yes, it would annoy me too.

I expect no pity whatsoever but I got a payrise a few years back removed me from Tax Free allowance entirely so the marginal rate of tax was well over 50% which was bothered me.

Wow... YABU maybe be happy you manage to earn what you earn. I also work public sector working FT as a lone parent I earn a pittance but I dont complain I get by plus I am actively improvimg my skill set by studying towards a degree. If you aint happy move on or learn a new skills

I’ve skimmed through posts and seem quite a few moans from people as you are on a decent wage. Although you are on a good wage it is not much to support your family on your own. Unfortunately you are a catch 22. Pay too high to get any support from anywhere. You have a mortgage so you aren’t a council tenant with reduced rent. The people moaning on here are being seriously unfair and I’m sure they receive some sort of support one way or another. Keep doing what your doing and ignore the negativity.

Benefits are meant as a safety net surely, not to restrict your talent. Be proud of your new position. Well done.

1st world problems.

They are the pits.

Totally feel for you OP. (Especially as a single parent in a similar position and salary). There is so little motivation in this country to get to a higher salary. Taxation in this country really needs a proper review.

I still think it's worth applying/taking the role as it gets you to the next level which is important, even if you have to take a hit in hours and stress.

I do feel it's v disengenuous on MN when others post about their salary (e.g.' But I'm only on 20k or 15k' etc) because many, many people on salaries of 40k and get cash/handouts from the govt and sometimes in numerous forms (HB, TC). These posters should state their overall takehome income/money available not just their salary from a job. This figure provides a much fairer comparison with others. And as others have said outgoings in some parts in the country are much less than in others.

meant to read '40k and below...'

Sorry but I cannot feel pity for your situation. My advice? Count your blessings you have a well paid job and apply anyway - you might not get it.