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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tothink it's utterly ridiculous that a 6k raise would only work out to be £100 per month

376 replies

theduchessstill · 11/02/2018 22:10

I'm just feeling really hopeless at the moment. I earn a decent enough wage and know that I am very fortunate compared to many. However, as a single parent who receives no maintenance I am solely responsible for myself and two children and a mortgage, as well as having to save for a further pay out for ex when youngest comes of age. We do ok, but I have little to no savings and think about money constantly.

I have seen a job that pays 6k more than my current one and is a natural next step for me. 6k seems like quite a step up, but have just put the figures into a calculator and it seems that, taking into account the fact it would take me above the CB threshold, I would be a measly £100 per month better off.

Pisses me off tbh. As I'm in a public sector role I very rarely get other pay rises and when I do they're minuscule. I also think the fact that I would lose CB when a couple with a combined income well above my single one would keep it is an absolute disgrace. It just seems things are never going to get any better for me so just having a little rant, a pointless one as there's obviously no guarantee I'd get the job even if I went for it.

OP posts:

kaytee87 · 12/02/2018 08:26

Also I'd really look into getting backdated maintenance from your ex. Why shouldn't he support his kids?

roundaboutthetown · 12/02/2018 08:27

Bluedoglead - for someone criticising the OP for starting a whining thread when you know nothing about her background either, it is rapidly becoming apparent that you like to whine more than anything else. So, please do tell us the details of how blameless you are in your predicament and how you have tried every avenue to get yourself out of it - or quit accusing others of whining and stop whining yourself. You obviously don't want help, you just want to play the woe is me card.

Tinkerbec · 12/02/2018 08:28

How do I go in to teaching then? Tell me please. How do I?

Blue it was actually a tongue in cheek comment based at the moaning in the thread.

But there are ways I know people that have done it. That’s if you want to.
What qualifications do you have so far?

If course there are people who have circumstances where education was not a priority at the time but I bet some of people who have moaned have. I am not saying all.

But again yes we do choose when to have our children. Its a choice we make.

user1471426142 · 12/02/2018 08:30

These financial threads always end the same way. Whatever the salary of the OP, they are criticised because they’re not as poor as someone else. Granted some posters have zero awareness that they are relatively speaking in a good financial position. However, when high earners are feeling squeezed, there is a message for society as a whole (I.e that living costs are too high compared to wages). There is a bit of an issue when people don’t feel they are getting anywhere near the lifestyle they were expecting for a certain wage. It weakens people’s ambition and desire to strive as the extra work doesn’t seem worth it. Of course people on lower incomes have it tougher but a race to the bottom attitude where everyone should be struggling does no one any good.

Oblomov18 · 12/02/2018 08:31

Why is OP getting such a hard time here? Anyone is allowed to ask a financial question.

Headofthehive55 · 12/02/2018 08:33

blue you can do it via the ou. At nights. Like the rest of us who studied. I did it with kids.

Bluedoglead · 12/02/2018 08:33

You know nothing about me and my background. Of course I’m not blameless but I have tried every single thing o get myself out of it.

I have children to consider. I can’t up and move nor can I go and do a teaching qualification I don’t have the grades for nor can I get to the training college. I’m not even suited to teaching I wouldn’t be a good one. I can’t spell and my maths is crap.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 12/02/2018 08:34

So now the single mum earning £15k is being lectured about choices. This is utter madness. I didn't agree with Bluedoglead about her reaction to the OP but she doesn't deserve this shit. This thread is vile.

Bluedoglead · 12/02/2018 08:36

I can’t afford to do the OU.

WellTidy · 12/02/2018 08:36

OP, I put everything I earn above the basic rate of tax (so anything over £45,000) into my pension. If you can afford to live on what you're living on now, you could consider doing the same. It doesn't have to be a permanent decision - my pension scheme is through my employer, but I can change how much I put in every month.

Headofthehive55 · 12/02/2018 08:38

You don't need qualifications blue to do the ou.

Perhaps you need to accept that someone else who is more able to do the work then should get four times your salary? She possibly will have student loans to lay back and was not able to earn a full time salary - like you had chance for four years.

Headofthehive55 · 12/02/2018 08:39

You can get a student loan blue you don't pay upfront

Tinkerbec · 12/02/2018 08:41

So now the single mum earning £15k is being lectured about choices. This is utter madness. I didn't agree with Bluedoglead about her reaction to the OP but she doesn't deserve this shit. This thread is vile.

Of course they dont. We are actually trying to advise. Just a little irked about her reaction to the op. Again there are always people worse off than ourselves. That doesn’t take away our feelings.

Bluedoglead · 12/02/2018 08:42

Headofthehive I know. I looked in to it before. How would I pay it back? I have no spare money? I can’t do a residential either I have no one to keep my kids?

RowenaDedalus · 12/02/2018 08:45

You pay it back through your salary.

Headofthehive55 · 12/02/2018 08:46

Please look into it again. blue
Lots of ou courses don't have residential so.
You pay back only when earning. Go for it!

EmmaJR1 · 12/02/2018 08:47

I understand your frustration but £100 is a £100 and as you've found out there's things you can do to protect your cb.

However my sympathies are in short supply- my husband earns only slightly more than you and we receive NO child benefits and NO married persons tax allowance and I'm about to become a stay at home Mum after dc2 because we can't afford nursery fees. Plus we have to either have no holiday or a week in a family members caravan from now on because losing my part time wage means no extras.

I think the opportunity to progress in the future is what you should concentrate on and chase your twat of an ex for maintenance!!!!

foxychox · 12/02/2018 08:47

YANBU - it makes you wonder what is the point of working hard to get a better job. I have no problems paying my taxes, that is my civil responsibility but the CB "higher earner" charge is very unfairly administered. Enjoy the new job and the small amount of extra cash!

Bluedoglead · 12/02/2018 08:47

Rowena I know that. But I have no spare money so how would I pay it back? I also can’t go on the residential because I have no child care (I get no maintenance and one of my children doesn’t see their father at all so there is only me I have no one to mind them if I’m on a residential)

ShowMePotatoSalad · 12/02/2018 08:48

Just a little irked about her reaction to the op. Again there are always people worse off than ourselves. That doesn’t take away our feelings.

I agree with that wholeheartedly. I just don't think some of the things being said to blue are fair.

ShatnersWig · 12/02/2018 08:50

Blue You don't start to pay back a student loan until you''re earning over a certain amount. Not sure how come you don't know that if, as you say, you've looked into it before, but anyway, that's how it works and many courses do not have residential elements.

Quartz2208 · 12/02/2018 08:50

I am going to ignore some of the thread to say I agree and sympathise. There is an area of earning where every increase is offset by the lose of child benefit and the increase in tax

There is a high jump as well when it comes to paying tax - at one point a pay increase left us over £1000 worse off as it meant that the bonus he received went into the 40% tax bracket.

Anyway yes offset it with pension contributions, and also in the area of 50-60k still receive child benefit but you have to fill in a tax return and then take it off as taxable income. That often does not take into account pensions so you actually are over the threshold less than you think.

I assume with paying back the ex its for the house? Also its not too late to claim child maintenance (spousal maintenance would never have happened).

Headofthehive55 · 12/02/2018 08:51

blue you don't pay it back until you earn more than you are doing and if you never earn more than you never pay back. Win win.
I've never needed childcare to do ou and it's really worthwhile. I recommend it.

blackchina · 12/02/2018 08:57

@TheDuchessStill

Wow, so you don't wanna take a better job, coz it means you get less benefits.

Talk about broken Britain!

And you are deluded if you think £50K is not a good wage. Most people are on less than HALF that.

Is this a stealth brag? hmm

If it IS a serious post, then FGS think of the long term advantages to taking the better paid job!

And the OP is 'getting a hard time' because she is not wanting to take a better job coz it will affect her benefits. Utterly ludicrous. No wonder this country is in such a fucking state with attitudes like that.

I know there is always someone worse off blah blah blah,🙄 but the OP is taking the piss IMO.

blackchina · 12/02/2018 08:58