To ask those who have been through IVF...

[user365241987]

How best to support someone close to you who is going through this journey?

All the tlc being suggested would have driven me up the wall. Part of why I didn’t tell anyone.

Don’t message every other day.
Don’t “cosset” them.
Don’t give advice/hope.
Above all else, don’t talk about how exciting it is. It might not work.
If it doesn’t work, don’t talk about how it will work next time. It might not.

Everyone’s different so just be sensible and kind to your friend.

I felt totally ignored by family when we went through our only cycle. It would have been nice if anybody had asked how we were or mentioned it at all. I have never felt so unimportant or alone. The biggest thing in my life mattered not one jot to anyone else but me and DH. Our failed cycle has never been mentioned to date and we never even bothered telling anyone about the unsuccessful frozen transfer.
So, while demanding a running commentary of someones progress would be a massive faux pas in my book, if they have told you they are undergoing a round of IVF then it is clear that some degree of interest would be appreciated. Making it clear you are there anytime, offering help (I needed someone to dog-sit when I had my egg collection) and just letting them know that you love them would be great.

A gift of a pair of socks mentioned upthread is a wonderful idea too. I bought my own "lucky" socks (they weren't!) for the embryo transfer.

Just being there, prepared to listen if necessary. Don't expect updates, don't give false hope (aunt's sister's best friend's daughter aged 55 just had triplets .....).

I didn't want or appreciate mollycoddling, but did occasionally need an ear I could rant to. And don't say "I don't know how you do it". For many of us it isn't really an option if we want a chance at parenthood.

I think you're very kind to consider these things.

Ask how they are. That was it for me. Leaves it open for them to confide if they want and also to avoid the topic if they want to. Also, tell them you are always there if they need to talk or vent.