AIBU to think women should be able to go out without being groped?

[FannyAnnie01]

An extremely rare night out with my husband in to the city centre last night. Drinks, meal dancing etc.
Back to a bar after a meal and having a dance when I felt a hand across my arse....now I don't mean a quick pinch or an accidental brush by....ive spent less time actually wiping my arse!!
This guys hand went in to the Indent of my bum crack (obviously over the top of my jeans)!
The shock on my face was evident. And I MASSIVELY down played it to my husband and said the guy had his hand on my back.

Upon leaving the bar minutes later we walked by the guy....i saw red.....i asked him what right he thought he had. He glared at me..... I ended up punching him. Lost it completely.

Why as women can we not go out without the threat of being groped or touched inappropriately??
I am so so bloody angry right now.

Beyond Thats hilarious and amazing, good on her!

She is an amazing woman, that is for sure. I envy her confidence.

I think my post has been misconstrued. I have never been felt up on a night out but other terrible sexual assaults have happened to me - not on nights out. The title of the post implies this happens to all women. It doesn't. It's terrible it happens at all but I was merely trying to put some perspective on it. Please don't attack me for that.

Why do these animals think it's acceptable!??
To the people saying I shouldn't have hit him...absolutely right i could have handled it better. I asked him why he thought he could do it and he just smirked at me.
As expected the bouncers came straight over and I explained what happened to which he replied "fair play to you love"....i don't know what happened after as we left.

Women need to start standing up for themselves in these situations. The comment upthread about grabbing the hand and shouting for security! Great!!
In last night's situation it wouldn't have worked as my DH was there and would have reacted before security could have got there!

I just feel so.... I can't explain it.... its really bothered me.

I bloody hate the word grope, it sounds a bit funny and harmless.
We should all it sexual assault because that’s what it is and yes women should be able to go out without fear of it happening

lethaldrizzle that may have been your intent but that wasn’t what you did. I accept you had the best of intentions but saying it doesn’t happen everytime is minimising the problem. It’s like people saying ‘not all men’ etc. I have never suffered a serious sexual assault but if you told me about yours I wouldn’t go ‘that’s sad but it’s be it’s never happened to me’ because it would be dismissive and irrelevant.

lethaldrizzle another point to make in trying to add perspective and saying 'it doesn't happen to everyone' well judging by the amount of posts about it here I would call you one of the lucky minority.

No it doesn't happen to all women to the poster above but it happens to enough to be a big issue.

I was first ever cat called aged 14 and felt up at 13. I've even been catcalled heavily pregnant. I've had my arse felt in night clubs. Even at work I've had a colleague try to snog me because we got on well so he thought I fancied him this despite me being engaged and talking about my fiancé frequently at the time. There are a lot of awful men about

I'm with you OP. It goes hand in hand with the arseholes that think that you are fair game because you work behind the bar too. Go glass collecting or leave the bar at your peril.
Don't react and you're a slut, react and tell them to do one and they will insist they're 'only joking' and that you're a miserable cow, and they were only having a laugh and you're ruining their night out. Yup even had a complaint about it against me. To another woman, who told me to lighten up.
It needs to stop being accepted and acceptable, but honestly I don't know how, certainly in my situation, without ultimately losing my job.

YANBU. The last time I was out in December I had 3 dickheads guys at different points of the night thinking they had some sort of right to touch me.

Guy 1 slapped my arse "because it's good to see some junk in the trunk"

Guy 2 must've came up behind me put his hands over my shoulders and square onto my breasts

Guy 3 was standing casually in the smoking shelter having a nice conversation when he put his hands on the side of my face and pulled me in for a kiss.

All of them were met with a "get your fucking hands off of me now" and a warning that i'd be giving them a swift kick in the balls if they did again although guy 3 got a bite to the nose as he wouldn't let go.

If it makes any difference im 5'3, wear glasses, don't do make up and am currently 3st overweight. They literally don't give a shit who you are or what you look like, a prick is just a prick praying on folk they class as lesser or more vulnerable than them.

DD has the best reaction I've ever seen to being groped. She is 4'10 and weighs about 6 stone but has a voice that rivals a foghorn. She shouts something along the lines of Stop groping me. Gropers become rapists.
It's the use of the word rapist that shocks the groper and their friends. It's no longer " harmless" or "a bit of fun".

It's happened to me countless times and every woman I've ever been on a night out with. Men think you are there, for them.
It's not wise to lash out physically, though. Good for you that it panned out well, but the type of man who thinks they can use a woman's body as they wish probably isn't against hitting a woman back, either. One punch can kill.

Good for you, OP. Protect yourself from accusations of assault though in future, it's very much a man's world. Do what Beyond's friend did, if possible.

I hear you though and I feel rage on your behalf at these disgusting excuses for men.

Last week I was at a bar with my work colleague and a (minimum 50year old) man (I’m 22) decided to put his hand round my waist, pull me in and ask my name with his breath in my fucking face.
I told him to get the fuck off of me and the bar man chased him out.

But it doesn’t only happen in bars either...

My bus stop is outside work - last week a man put his hand on my leg in the shelter and said ‘what’s your name sexy’.
The same bus stop at 8.30 am a different man looked at me walking past, grabbed his cock ( through his jeans) and called me tasty.

I don’t know what they expect will happen .... sure, take my number man older than my father/person touching me without my permission/ lecherous perv.... that’s how you get a woman!

Ewwww Lemony they are out in force where you are. What makes men think this is ok, and they can do things like that.