To want to cry...night from hell

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Husband is away- hate him!
Earlier my 6 monthold was showing signs of teething: crying/ diarrhoea etc, so gave her some calpol
Next thing I’m waking up and I’ve thrown up three times and dashed to the loo. She’s now up and feeding on me, keeping having to put her down to dash to the bathroom. She then screams
What do I do?

It’s unfortunate I was ill this wk but I thought he was a shit for booking it in the first place. However I couldn’t physically stop him and I will punish him forever more ()

The power of Mumsnet!

Glad you're feeling a little better.

SGB he was on a boys' trip to Brazil, so it must have been planned fairly much in advance.

Don't know if OP is seriously pissed off with him or not! If you have a sudden painful episode you do feel a bit resentful at lack of support, rational or not.

Only OP can say.

This is for you my love,y 💐
Glad your on the mend

Oh no, massive hugs, glad you are feeling better nowx

No truely I think he’s selfish. He booked it last June when I was 8 months pregnant so he knew we’d have a 6 month old.
Don’t get me wrong he’s a good partner and dad but I think he misjudged this one. I clearly won’t hate on him forever but when he’s back I will be putting my plans above his, such as going to the gym whenever I want and he can do all the bath times for a while; he will be truely lucky if I cook for him for at least a week once back.

You have a clear stance!

So it's definitely you time when he returns :)

Oh I feel for you op I still now 12 years on get flashbacks of cooking pasta and pesto for dinner for my 4 age 2 4 6 and 8 whilst throwing up in a bowl at the same time.. Dh was in America... (for work so I couldn't be tooo pissed off) Was easier a year later when dd1 was a bit older as I ordered pizza and stayed in bed.

Hopefully the antibodies you produced will pass to your DD through your breast milk and protect her... Glad to hear you sound better... And yes, your husband clearly has some making up to do!!

Glad you feel better and are having a break to rest.

Rather than punishing him with no dinner or whatever, I suggest a good long talk about priorities and selfishness. Playing silly games of tit for tat simply shows him that he can do what he likes and just has to put up with a week or two of cold shoulder and all is back to normal.

Ask him how it would be if you just decided to book a long haul trip regardless of his feelings on the matter (I am assuming you told him at the time you didnt want him to go) and left him to it.

He is a father now and needs to jolly well act like one. Make it clear that there is to be no more unilateral decisions made like this and that his wife and child should come first from now on, as he and DD do for you. Also that you need as much free time as he gets, proper free time not just him holding the baby while you have a quick bath.

His reaction will tell you whether this was a one off error of judgement or dyed in the wool selfishness. If the latter then you have some thinking to do......

OK, if this is your first DC and he booked it while you were pregnant, it could be a case of him just not having a clue what parenthood would be like. Is it a particularly special trip (best-mate-from-childhood's stag do or milestone birthday)?But it's possibly worth thinking about how he's been behaving as a father and husband, generally - has it always been the case that his wishes come first? Does he generally do his share of domestic work?

If it is the case that you have a lazy, selfish man on your hands, maybe this illness will have helped you decide you no longer want to put up with him. But if he's a nice bloke who had this one-off spot of self-indulgence and will be pulling his weight properly when he returns, then maybe it will all turn out fine.

So glad you're feeling better OP.

DH works long days and I remember spending precious annual leave with 4 vomiting children, two of them twins who were still at the "vomit wherever you are regardless" stage.

DH returned at 23:30 to all the lights on and a pile of washing taller than me. We were all still up (and vomiting). I know that it will be something I can laugh about eventually but it's all still too raw.

The stupidest part was the fact that DH is normally welcomed home with a glass of wine and a tidy house (long weekend day) and because it was a scene of carnage he started mourning life pre- DTs.

They had just turned 2 and we were actually getting back to normal-one episode of D&V and my usually rational husband started spiralling into a pit of vomit induced dispair .

This too shall pass, it always passes eventually

What a nightmare. D & V and breastfeeding.

Right sadly a little regression, runny stomach and the chills- fingers x this will last only another night.
H not particularly selfish- sometimes needs telling to do the odd thing round the house, and I need tell him what DH should wear when he dresses her etc. Nothing awful.

OMG d&v with twins ....I have nothing but respect

sorry about the regression, it is grim. Have you got any help for tomorrow or is everyone working?

When he gets back, and you're feeling better, take yourself off for a spa weekend. Then poison him, just enough to give him dreadful d&v, so he knows what it's like.

Hope you feel better soon.