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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for your best puns?

26 replies

buddhasbelly · 10/02/2018 21:39

I'll start.

I should've bought new camping gear in the Christmas sales. It would've been a winter of discount tent.

OP posts:
faceremovinghairscream · 10/02/2018 21:45

I'm just back from a once in a lifetime holiday, I tell you what, never again.

faceremovinghairscream · 10/02/2018 21:46

Sorry not really a pun, just a crap one-liner! Oops

buddhasbelly · 10/02/2018 21:48

It made me smile so it's allowed!

OP posts:
Sandsnake · 10/02/2018 21:51

I went to Budapest for a weekend away and ended up falling in the river.
Danu-believe it?

I’ll get my coat...

SistersOfPercy · 10/02/2018 22:21

Found a packet of fish fingers in the street the other day. Was going to hand them in but thought what the hell, findus keepers.

FannyHertz · 10/02/2018 22:24

I was asked if I wanted to go on a llama trekking expedition in Peru. I thought, alpaca suitcase

ChinkChink · 10/02/2018 22:26

Hear about the couple of fake doctors who set up in a Scottish town and ruined the health of the local people with their quack remedies?

'Two medic crooks spoiled Arbroath'

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/02/2018 22:28

Not mine:

"DS, get to the back of the boat," he said sternly.

I so wish it was mine!

SistersOfPercy · 10/02/2018 22:34

Read a book about ship building last night. Riveting.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 10/02/2018 22:39

Not quite a pun, more of a one liner - I hid my horse behind a lump a cheese... it was mascarpone

mrsnolasco · 10/02/2018 22:41

Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at my head in the supermarket today...
Fucking Hellman

WorraLiberty · 10/02/2018 22:47

A man threw a block of cheese and a tub of butter at me the other day.

I thought bastard, how fucking dairy.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 10/02/2018 22:50

Why do Marxists only drink herbal tea?

Because property is theft.

PaddingtonBearHardStare · 10/02/2018 23:01

James Norton.

Out of 10?

I'd give him 1...

ChinkChink · 10/02/2018 23:11

mrsnorlasco wins the thread imho

Grin
Slanetylor · 10/02/2018 23:14

"Property is theft"!!!Grin

LunchBoxPolice · 11/02/2018 10:06

*A man threw a block of cheese and a tub of butter at me the other day.

I thought bastard, how fucking dairy*

That's not very mature

LunchBoxPolice · 11/02/2018 10:07

Jokes about white sugar are rare...

Jokes about brown sugar?
Demarara

UrbaneSprawl · 11/02/2018 10:11

My cousin runs a zoo, but the only animal he’s got is a stupid looking Chinese dog.

I think it’s a ShihTzu.

ParadiseCity · 11/02/2018 10:14

I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.

Elendon · 11/02/2018 10:17

All the pictures on my phone are foggy at the bottom. I have low selfie steam.

buddhasbelly · 11/02/2018 10:18

I'm living these keep them coming!

I'll throw another one in...mine are all camping related as me and the guy I'm seeing started a pun off last night whilst chatting abiut well, camping obviously. if we can keep puns going about that this may be the real deal Grin

Sex while camping? it's fucking in tents.

OP posts:
mrsnolasco · 12/02/2018 13:37

I can't believe someone broke into my house and stole my limbo stick, how low can you go?

JanuaryBirthdays · 12/02/2018 13:40

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

Well, well, well, three holes in the ground.

Twice, so good they named it twice.

MongerTruffle · 12/02/2018 13:43

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of you understand these jokes. Some people appreciate them, some people don't, and the division is clear.

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