To not understand how to get a toddler to sleep when you have a newborn??

[Abneyandteal19]

So one son 2.5yrs and other son 16 weeks...
Mon- fri I do bedtime on my own,
I do bath with both of them together, pyjamas on etc,
As we are upstairs I then put Thomas on for DS1 and feed DS2, try my best to settle him and put in crib, but he needs to be resettled, dummy in etc, if I leave our room to put toddler in his bed the baby cries and I end up running between rooms with DS1 getting hyper jumping on bed etc!! If I take baby into his room he will make noises which stops toddler settling!! Toddler goes to sleep quickly but needs me in the room, so basically I have ended up with them both in bed with me, holding baby and waiting for toddler to fall asleep watching Thomas which I know is bad and can't continue!!

So AIBU that it's impossible to get toddler and baby to sleep?? I know 100s people manage but am at a loss!!!

Suggestions please??? no cry it out)

I had a similar difficulty and age difference. I framed it as a special
Sleepy time and lay down and fed the baby one side with the toddler on my other, cuddled in in our double bed and sang lullabyes. I'd sometimes offer iPad if he was mega wired and just needed some time to wind down. Toddler would fall asleep and I'd lift him through to his room once the baby was properly down. It did not lead to an addiction to my bed. At almost 4 he love stories and has no iPad at bedtime. You are not making a rod for your own back. You do what you need to do to survive and the children adapt. It's a tough time but it will pass

I used to sit on the bed & bf baby while reading to toddler (more books if baby not settling less if baby settled) then toddler lies down to fall asleep. Then creep out with baby. Second time i did the same but lay down to feed baby.

The reality was a lot more frustrating than when written

Oldest to bed first, then youngest.

However, I’m my case when they were small dd1 went to bed later as dd2 slept like an angel.

Give it a bit of time, and youngest will go to bed first, but for now stuck to oldest first.

Toddler in bed, read story while bf baby. I would sit with toddler bfing baby to sleep while toddler lies in bed. If toddler gets out of bed then I leave room and shut stairgate until toddler is ready to lie in bed. So lying in bed is rewarded, messing about is not. Combine with trying everything to make toddler tired and definitely no daytime naps, and this worked for us with a very challenging 2 year old. There were days when toddler screamed but he always knew we’d help him settle again if he would just lie down. Definitely no tv at bedtime, I’m afraid! Baby gets put to bed after toddler is asleep.

We cheated, we had cots pushed up either side of our bed, so co-sleeping but not in the same bed. Same bedtime routine for both dds at the same time, bath together, same music that we played every night, bf baby while Dd1 had a bottle then read stories if they weren't already asleep... Which quite often ended up with me falling asleep first! Reasonably un traumatic but keeping them asleep was a different matter! We did that for a couple of years and it was lovely looking back, now they share their own room and I miss them at night.