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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To forgive old people..

13 replies

CrazyExIngenue · 08/02/2018 17:45

Bear with me. I consider myself a feminist, and I'm usually the first to defend victims. HOWEVER the issues currently with George Bush Sr. & My own memories of my DGM sexually assaulting my own DF during the worst of her dimentia, AIBU to say their is a point we can call...not a crime?
If it helps I think this is an important question in light of the ageing population.

OP posts:
NotAnotherEmma · 08/02/2018 17:47

😏

MissionItsPossible · 08/02/2018 17:48

😶

PortiaCastis · 08/02/2018 17:49
Confused
PeaPodPopper · 08/02/2018 17:51

I have nursed people with dementia who were only in their late 30's / early 40's, it is not specific to 'old' people.
Not sure what you mean re 'AIBU to say their is a point we can call...not a crime' ?

CrazyExIngenue · 08/02/2018 17:57

Sorry. I was reading about the accusations against George Bush Sr. all of which are only in his 80's, nothing prior. I remember my DGM after her dementia diagnoses, being incredibly sexually aggressive, i was told it's normal during dementia.
I'm a big supporter of #metoo, but I guess I wonder where the line can be drawn.

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japanesegarden · 08/02/2018 17:57

if someone has lost capacity for making rational judgment, either from dementia or any other reason, then that can be used as a defence against any allegations of criminality, surely. If they are in full possession of their faculties and old enough to be considered responsible for their actions, then surely they should still be responsible for their actions. If someone has dementia and doesn't know their own name, they can hardly be expected to conform to normal codes of behaviour.

CrazyExIngenue · 08/02/2018 18:00

I was told when my DGM had dementia that sexual aggression/inappropriate sexual conduct was a common side affect.

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CrazyExIngenue · 08/02/2018 18:03

My DGM new her name. Her kids, husbands, grandkids, in-laws names no.

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x2boys · 08/02/2018 18:24

I was a nurse in dementia care for years , it can be very common for some people to people to become sexually disinhibited some also lose the capacity to use the toilet appropriately , forget how to use a knife and fork etc its an illness its not their fault.

KimmySchmidt1 · 08/02/2018 18:30

I was thrown by your reference to GHWB as some of the accusations were from when he was president and he has not to my knowledge got dementia.

But yes if someone has a clinical diagnosis that means they are not responsible for their actions then it is unfair to blame them and legally they will not be held responsible.

Not sure how relevant that is to any of the allegations that have been made in the press lately though.

ScaryMary81 · 08/02/2018 18:30

My nan had Alzheimer's sexual inhibitions is/can be one of the many symptoms. The person doesn't know it's wrong or make an active choice to carry out the inappropriate acts as a sexual predator does.

translationAndRotation · 09/02/2018 03:24

But your grand mother had a medical 'excuse'.

No, I don't think there should be statute of limitations or whatever you're suggesting.

The line can be drawn when someone is control of their actions or not. Seems simple to me.

SuperBeagle · 09/02/2018 03:57

Nothing has been said about Bush Sr. having dementia.

So no, simply "being old" is not an excuse.

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