My mother let my brother emotionally and physically abuse me. There was quite a lot of abuse in my family - I was my mother’s victim and scapegoat. As I grew older, some of the abuse from my brother was sexualised teasing and sexual abuse, although no touching. I only processed recently that she was fully aware of some of the sexual abuse and chose to hide it from my father, who would have been furious.
Her mother’s (so my grandmothers) boyfriend grabbed me when I was 16, wrapped his arms around me (including my arms) so I couldn’t move and forcibly kissed me, she believed me. But I wasn’t to tell my grandmother. Looking back, I’m appalled at my mother. The way he manipulated me, grabbed me and told me it was “our little secret”, I am now of the firm opinion I wasn’t the first child this vile old man abused. I really hope he didn’t have access to younger children after my mother chose not to report this abuse (as a victim of abuse at home, I had no idea I had the right to report it myself). Even at his age, walking with a cane, he was incredibly strong. The only reason as to why he backed off is because I went absolutely ballistic, he had me completely incapacitated. Had I been younger or not a feisty person, the outcome would have been very different.
I’m also the trouble maker apparently. I confronted my mother about the above (before I realised she knew about the sexual abuse), her attitude was, I was the abusive one. She smirked at the sexual abuse.
I’m glad to see you’re nc with your brother. I am with mine as he presents a genuine threat to my physical safety even though he’s a middle aged father. I think going nc or at least having a period of nc with your mother is a good idea. As is getting more therapy.
I hope in time you will be able to accept and fully understand that your mother will never ever believe you, will never ever accept you. Just because she’s female, it doesn’t mean she can’t be a misogynist. And she’s bred your brother in misogyny as well. They sound somewhat like my family. I’m also in therapy and working toward not being believed. Ironically I’m the most truthful in my family and abhore lying.