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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about my wage (nanny job)

44 replies

Fabpinky · 08/02/2018 16:55

AIBU Regarding my wages

I am a nanny currently working my notice for a family. It was agreed and put in my contract that I would work 6 hours during term time and 12 hours during school holidays. During October half term they went away and gave me 2 weeks off paid. They told me to call it an incentive to take the position. Come Christmas holidays I had annual leave to use up so only worked 1 week of the school holidays. I handed my notice in January and request the annual leave I was owed to be taken off the end of my notice, which made my last day of work Monday (the first day of half term)

Their new nanny is starting on Monday which is my last day. I said to my employer that I didn't have to work the Monday if she didn't want, as I didn't want to tread on the new nannies toes. My employer said she would like my to still work to show the nanny the house and area etc. Fine by me. She then text a few days later saying not to worry about working the Monday.

Here is my AIBU. I am paid monthly and weekly. It was agreed that I would withdraw £83 a week to cover any late nights whether they used them or not as there was not a time limit on the late nights. E.g one night they may be home 3 hours late, another 2 hours, but then another week never home late. Sometimes it worked in their favour, sometimes in mine. It was ALWAYS to be paid, it was included in my whole salary. When they were away on holiday it was paid and when I was off over Christmas it was paid.

My employer text me yesterday saying not to worry about the Monday they were sure that the new nanny could handle it, and to take the money as usual. I replied and said and take another £83 for next week as well? Because remember although I am not working next week I am using annual leave which I'm still paid for - she was unhappy about this and started to say that should we go back and calculate how many school holidays have I worked and recalculate my salary accordingly? As I was receiving a higher salary averaged out on the condition of the longer hours during the holidays. She also insinuated that she wouldn't be paying for the Monday she told me not to worry about. I told her there was nothing in the contract stating a salary recalculation upon termination so it wouldn't be necessary.

Today when I picked the children up from school they told me how daddy had said "fucking fabpinky" and "mummy was angry she said you wanted an extra £80" this isn't the first time the children have told me of their parents bad mouthing me.

So my AIBU is - am I being unreasonable to want to be paid the £83 + paid for Monday as I was willing to work it but told not to?

Side AIBU - would I be unreasonable to message the new nanny and tell them what a nightmare the family are? This family have worn me down and made me feel like I'm a rubbish nanny, and convinced me that everything was my fault. I kind of want to warn her what they are like and let her know it's not her. It's her first nanny position as well so she has nothing to compare it to.

OP posts:
iMatter · 08/02/2018 19:12

I'm confused.

Do you mean 6/12 hours a week or a day?

If it's a week I think you've taken more holiday than hours you've worked. Confused

SprinkleCakeLollipop · 08/02/2018 19:14

You've been with them since september and pretty much had all the school holidays as annual leave Confused

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 08/02/2018 19:17

None of this makes any sense. The random 83 pounds amount each week..what is that calculated on. Do you declare it. Why have you had so many holidays accrued.

Based on what you are saying yabu. You arent going to work overtime hours so you shouldn't ever be getting the 83 that week.

londonrach · 08/02/2018 19:30

Agree with what everyone says they vvvv lucky to get rid of you. You sound greedy. Daily mail im thinking as no one can be this greedy in real life

Fabpinky · 08/02/2018 19:36

When I started in September I had around 7 days of annual leave for the rest of the year. They were already booked to go away before offering me the job and said I could have the time off as incentive.

I used my annual leave between Christmas and new year. this was discussed with them and they said it was fine. They could have said no.

Now I have accrued 4 days annual leave which I requested to be taken at the end of my notice which again they have said yes to, they didn't have to, I could have worked them and they pay me for them which was the plan until they got a new nanny.

There have been plenty of issues with this family, and as mentioned they go through nannies, im their 5th since Jan 2017.

The money withdrawn is taxed, I take it weekly as they are paid weekly and it works better for them this way.

OP posts:
mickeysminnie · 08/02/2018 19:43

The fact that they go through nannies quickly has nothing to do with it! You are taking the piss.

Strongmummy · 08/02/2018 19:43

Is the deal with the £83 in your contract? If so, you’re entitled to it. If not, then YABU

Fabpinky · 08/02/2018 19:45

I don't see how using the annual leave that I'm entitled to, and leaving a horrible job is me taking the piss, but thank you for all your responses

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 08/02/2018 19:49

How have you accrued 4 days leave since January?!

blackteasplease · 08/02/2018 19:52

They shouldn't be bad mouthing you in front of the children though!

niceupthedance · 08/02/2018 20:14

Where did your 7 days leave come from when you started your job in September? Surely your leave is accrued in each contract you start? I would be livid if my nanny took leave in each subsequent school holidays, especially if I'd given her two weeks paid leave for the first half term. Wtf!

Tistheseason17 · 08/02/2018 20:39

Can I just check my understanding, OP?
Ex nanny here.
You started the job in Sept.
The annual leave year is Jan to Dec. Based on 4 weeks a/l each year you had 7 days to take before the eoy.
Because you arranged it before you started the job (most people claim this was already booked when starting new jobs Grin) your new employers felt obliged to give it to you.
Then.... the family had holiday in Oct which they did not want to take you on so they are obliged to continue paying your salary as it was their choice not yours.
Then you have accrued 4 days Jan to mid Feb (about right)
Then separately you are paid and taxed the extra money each week for overtime.
I would suggest that as you will not be doing the overtime during the accrued annual leave period it is not contractual and not guaranteed.
The family were generous and actually should pay actual overtime worked instead of the weird arrangement.
But, YAB a bit U a king for overtime not worked. You were on to a good thing and now it has ended.
I worked for assh*le families and lovely ones. From a £ perspective take the money offered and leave.
Don't badmouth the nanny. Just give her your number and say she can call you if she needs.

babybubblescomingsoon · 08/02/2018 20:46

Post this on the nanny chat Facebook page for advice from fellow nannies.

Fabpinky · 08/02/2018 21:04

Tistheseason17 -
Sort of,
Before I had even been to interview they had a holiday booked so gave me the time off yes. They said call it an incentive to take the job, and are now using it against me.

The 7 days weren't pre booked so there was no obligation for them to allow it. It got to around mid November and we were discussing Christmas and it was decided I would use my holiday up between Christmas and new year and the first week of Jan. It was all discussed together rather Than me telling them those were the days I wanted.

The reason I was asking for it is because it's counted in my whole salary, and I was given it when they were away and over Christmas when I didn't work.

This whole job has been one big headache and I am so eager to leave that I will take the money and run, mainly to never have to speak to this lady again.

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 08/02/2018 21:14

Prob a good idea, OP.
I nannied for a now, mega famous person. His parents were vile. He and his siblings were lovely but his parents treated me like a slave. Made me carry kids when I had a broken ankle in a cast. I sued them for their odd behaviour and won.
So, basically, I get it. Some families are duds but I did work for some awesome ones, too. Find a good family and be clear on income. It will help x

Fabpinky · 08/02/2018 21:20

Tistheseason17

Wow how awful! Glad you won.

I've nannied for lovely families before who I'm still in touch with and see reugularly. I have never experienced a mum like this. I know it's not me, but they have worn me down so much I started to have doubts about my ability as a nanny!

I have a new job lined up recommended through one of my old families so I just need to get out! Only one more day!

OP posts:
lazymum99 · 08/02/2018 21:58

Weird overtime arrangement. Should have only been paid it if you worked it.
Also I don't understand the business with the holiday the family took in October half term. If your employers go on holiday and don't need/want you to go with then they have to pay you. They could have attempted to get you to take some as your holiday but couldn't force this.This should not be any sort of incentive to take the job.
Both of these are the employers fault for not making it clear. Make sure the next employers make this more clear.

I don't think the employers badmouthed the nanny TO the children. Most probably the kids just overheard.

Tistheseason17 · 08/02/2018 22:49

Good luck with next job, OP Flowers

MissDuke · 09/02/2018 09:38

I like the idea of giving the new nanny your number or add her to social media and to say to feel free to contact you. If she directly asks why you are leaving try to be tactful, you could say personality clash or it just wasn't for you, but let her find her own way, she may get on fine who knows, the family may have learned from this too (though maybe not given the high staff turnover).

I would definitely just take your money and run and go and enjoy your new job Flowers

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