What is better? Car or baby?

[titsandbits]

I gave birth at the end of October. My husband & I decided that his mother would look after him full time at the end of December when I started working again (self employed). She had originally offered to take him and was so pleased when we agreed!

Instead of paying her monthly she asked that we buy a car through finance instead. This car is in my name and she is down as a second driver on the insurance. She tried and failed numerous times to get finance on her own as she has had money problems in the past. This has given her the opportunity to get out and about and take our son to the doctors, activities and days out etc

She took him for 23 days (excluding weekends) & then said to us last month that she no longer wanted to look after him. We had no hard feelings as she is under no obligation to take him and we had other options. We told her that we would be able to take the car back as we no longer had a need for the policy and we were within the 'change your mind' policy. Suddenly, she has decided that she will take him again. This is obviously down to the fact the car comes with the baby.

I have said no. We have already got alternative care sorted and we have informed the garage we will be terminating the contract. My husband went and lifted the car yesterday and there is a lot of anger in the air as we are taking the car back even though she knows we can't afford both alternative care and her car.

I don't want her taking my son if it's only for the car that is attached.

AIBU?

You're not being unreasonable, she was obviously hoping you'd either let her keep the car, or that you wouldn't be able to return it.

Did she say why she didn’t want to watch him?

No just all of a sudden she said she couldn't do it anymore!

YANBU and I'm glad your husband agrees and you don't have to persuade him!

I don’t think you were unreasonable to take the car back, definitely not.

YANBU

Perfectly reasonable to take back the car

YANBU at all, I wouldn’t want a reluctant carer looking after him and obviously you don’t keep paying when she’s no longer helping.

Totally the right thing to do.
Well done on standing up for yourself and your DS.
It's a pain relying on family for this kind of thing.

UANBU. I pay roughly £50 per day for a childcare. So she provided ~£1150 worth of chilcare so far. How much is the car finance for- if the total exceeds this then no more car. If you paid less for car so far then i’d think about giving the difference between £1150 and what you paid for car to her.
I would not trust her with DC now that it transpired she only wants him because of the car.
Paid childcare is much more straightforward so i’d stick to that.

YANBU , added to which if she is on as a named driver yet the car lives at her house and she is the primary driver you would be potentially in trouble with the insurance company .

If you are named driver on the insurance, but the car stays at your MILs house, this is fraud. It’s known as fronting and if the insurance company find out you will be in trouble. Give the car back.

Cross post with floral there!