Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be angry/annoyed/frustrated about CSA payments

22 replies

duskmum · 08/02/2018 12:02

Me and my ExDP have been split for over a year now. I moved into a refuge as he was EA/MA/FA. He is a manipulative character.

Recently he has been mentioning he can't afford to give me as much child maintenance. Which I found odd. He has just brought a new sofa which is on finance so paying 20 a month. He showed me some pics of some shoes the other day and said I'm getting these. They were 200. So he has money to spare!

Today I get a call saying his employers are dropping his wage by £11k! That's not legally surely is it?? You can't just drop someone's wage like that without good reason. So not to drip feed, it's merging with another company but keeping all staff and keeping the name etc. Apparently the owners have said you take this or it's nothing. Then he said so obviously I can't give you as much money anymore. Now I don't know if he's lying because he has big form for this! He then got really angry when I didn't give sympathy like I used to and I said well how you paying for this new sofa etc. He then claims his mum is paying for it. I feel this is another lie! He then said I was cold for thinking of myself and it's all about money! The call ended with him saying he was calling CSA and he was going to leave it to them.

I feel worried, angry, annoyed. Me and our DS rely on the money he gives us. Surely it isn't legal for an employer to drop your salary like that. What do other people think? Lies? I also think recently he is seeing another woman. This really doesn't bother Me, but it does when his behaviour changes and he claims he can't give me as much money anymore.

OP posts:

Original poster

duskmum · 08/02/2018 12:03

Ah sorry there were paragraphs in there!

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 08/02/2018 12:04

It is legal, it happened to me. There was a notice period, then it dropped.

Original poster

duskmum · 08/02/2018 12:07

Really?? Did they give a reason? I would have thought if you are in the company more than the 2 years you have rights protecting you. Even if this is legal in not sure I believe him.

OP posts:

PotteringAlong · 08/02/2018 12:09

They restructured. The reason was we all took a pay cut or we all lost our jobs. I’m a teacher; this was an academy chain.

frankchickens · 08/02/2018 12:10

It’s perfectly legal. But that doesn’t mean he is telling the truth.

PotteringAlong · 08/02/2018 12:10

It wasn’t immediate. We had 2 years notice. But it all salaries were downgraded.

PotteringAlong · 08/02/2018 12:10

Whether he’s telling the truth or not is a different matter!

Original poster

duskmum · 08/02/2018 12:39

He said he's had no notice.

The reason I think he's lying is because he's been hinting a few weeks that he can't give me as much money. Another reason before this was because they were cutting his mileage claims down alot. So I feel it's another excuse.

When we first broke up and I moved away he told me he had seen a solicitor and there was ways he could get around not paying me as much. Like getting a contact drawn up saying he earns a basic salary and then he gets the rest paid through commission/expenses. Which he's been doing anyway. He gets paid another 10K ish on top of his basic salary.

OP posts:

Pseudousername · 08/02/2018 13:05

I think you can be angry about it but unfortunately, there's not much you can do if he's working with loop holes and going through the CSA.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 08/02/2018 13:59

What is the relevance of him bringing a sofa? Did he bring it to you?

Dancingfairy · 08/02/2018 14:05

My ex has to pay £6.72 a week for our 4 kids so although it's not great it could be worse...

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/02/2018 14:07

He sounds awful and you had to go into a refuge, in what circumstances are the two of you looking at pictures of shoes and discussing sofas?!

Winosaurus · 08/02/2018 14:11

If you’re in the uk then commission, overtime, and “shift allowances” are all classed as income and therefore figured into the CSA calculations.
I’m not sure about expenses though?

Andrewofgg · 08/02/2018 14:11

Ask for his pay slips before and after. If it’s true, so be it.

A relation of mine was well pissed off when her ex became a student - he was legally able to reduce his CM to chicken shit. And when his new qualification paid off his DD was past the age of CM and got no benefit. C’est la vie! - NRPs are not chained to the hamster wheel.

needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 14:33

Is it currently a private arrangement or is it through the Child Maintenance Service?

Original poster

duskmum · 08/02/2018 16:19

When I dropped my DS off he asked if I knew anyone who wanted his sofa because he was getting a new one and then said in passing about the trainers. He's very materialistic and braggy. Even though he doesn't actually own assets of any kind.

Yes it's still a private arrangement.

How is commission brought in? Didn't know this. How can they know though if every month is an unknown amount of commission. It isn't written in his contract how much commission he gets I don't think. In not sure though.

OP posts:

QueenArseClangers · 08/02/2018 16:35

Scrap the private arrangement and go straight back to the CMS.

needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 16:36

Put a claim in via the Child Maintenance Service, they will base it on records from the tax office so it will be based on the amount he paid tax on last year, if he can prove this year will be £11k less they will take it into consideration. It can be done that they work out the amount and you still have a private payment set up or that they collect it for you ( this costs a little ) after years of being messed about I decided that 4% for them to collect it was better for me. Have a look at their site, there are calculators etc so you can see how much you should be getting

frankchickens · 08/02/2018 16:48

How is commission brought in? Didn't know this. How can they know though if every month is an unknown amount of commission.

Based on last year's HMRC data according to this -

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-maintenance/child-maintenance-2012-scheme/child-maintenance-calculation/the-2012-child-maintenance-scheme-calculating-maintenance-income/

Winosaurus · 08/02/2018 17:03

@duskmum because they average it out and reasses every few months

Original poster

duskmum · 08/02/2018 17:36

Ah ok thank you! Just worried as I've budgeted on including the money he gives us. It's not fair he can buy luxuries and claims to be this hero dad when actually I'm the one who suffers and does most of the looking after of our child. Then he tries to play the victim.

OP posts:

needmysleep75 · 08/02/2018 18:28

You'd be best off going through the CMS ( new name for CSA ) they reassess every year. Try this www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance it will give you some idea of what he should be paying you could do it on what you think he's on now, and £11k less. You at least know what they say then. I would say if you go through them your ex can't fix the figures without a lot of effort. You have to pay £20 for the initial application but if you end up getting more/regular money its more than worth it. Its also a starting point to tell him you should be paying me this or I will go through them.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.