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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I tell DM about the tickets or not?

42 replies

HowDoIKeepSecret · 07/02/2018 23:04

My DM and I are really close, chat daily, text each other a couple of times a day etc.

She rung me today to say she was disappointed as her so called friends from work are going to a concert she really wants to go to in July but didn't invite. She sounded so upset.

I didn't know her friends were going, seems like they're going on a different night anyway. But I did know they were my DMs favourite band so I got tickets for me and her to go when they went on sale. I was super excited when i got them. I've been saving since they announced their tour on twitter last year.

I've arranged a babysitter for my DD (I know DM will take me as she's always asking me if I'd go to see them with her) and I can't wait to see her face.

They're supposed to be a birthday present for her birthday in March. I felt so sorry for her though. She sounded close to tears, that she wasn't invited by her friends.

WIBU to tell her tomorrow when I see her instead that I've got the tickets, and have had them since they went on sale? I know it kind of ruins the surprise but I do also have a small gift to give her on her actual birthday so it's not like she'll be getting nothing.

OP posts:
Altwoo · 07/02/2018 23:09

Tell her Smile. You’ll make her day.

TathitiPete · 07/02/2018 23:09

I would. I probably shouldn't but I would. I wouldn't be able to resist. Look at it this way, your DM has longer to look forward to it.

Argeles · 07/02/2018 23:10

Yes, tell her - she’ll be so excited!!!

She’ll have time to plan her outfit, and possibly to find some real friends too!

What a great Daughter you are!

Els1e · 07/02/2018 23:10

I would tell her tomorrow. She needs the lift now and will join you in the excitement and anticipation.

DawnAnn · 07/02/2018 23:11

Yes, I would definitely tell her.

murasaki · 07/02/2018 23:11

tell her, she'll be really happy

LiquoricePickle · 07/02/2018 23:11

I would tell her! She's going to be so so excited!

FinallyFree123456789 · 07/02/2018 23:12

Tell her Smile
She’ll love it!
And her face will be a picture Flowers

Bossbaby12 · 07/02/2018 23:12

Awww your poor Mum! Definitely tell her, I'm excited for her!

Crispbutty · 07/02/2018 23:13

As long as its not the Spice Girls yanbu!

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/02/2018 23:13

I would tell her to keep the date clear and there is a special surprise and not to worry about the gig

Original poster
HowDoIKeepSecret · 07/02/2018 23:14

Crisp Not spice girls no

OP posts:
petbear · 07/02/2018 23:16

You could tell her, but it doesn't change the fact her friends didn't invite her! Confused

Or did you tell them YOU were taking her?.............

Crispbutty · 07/02/2018 23:16

I would tell her so that she can go into work and say "well bitches, I'm glad you didnt bother inviting me as my lovely daughter bought me a ticket so shove that up yer arses"

Original poster
HowDoIKeepSecret · 07/02/2018 23:18

Pet No I've never met these friends, and have never spoken to them at all.

OP posts:
petbear · 07/02/2018 23:19

Oh OK, thanks Smile

Lovely that you are taking her, but still a pisser that her mates didn't ask her (unless they also have a secret ticket for her?!) Blush

tobee · 07/02/2018 23:26

I think you would tell her on the grounds that it is longer for her to have to look forward to it and be excited!

Original poster
HowDoIKeepSecret · 07/02/2018 23:27

Pet I don't think so, surely they'd keep it a secret until her birthday and say "and we're all going too"

Oh god, I hope not. I was super excited to tell her and go with her

OP posts:
petbear · 07/02/2018 23:32

Guess you may have to tell her, and she will tell her friends and then it will come out if they got a ticket for her too.

Who IS it by the way? Or would you rather not say?

Original poster
HowDoIKeepSecret · 07/02/2018 23:45

pet Madness

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 07/02/2018 23:48

I’d tell her.

SleepIsForTheWeek · 07/02/2018 23:54

Oh how mean not inviting her - of course tell her, she'll be feeling rejected right now and this will make her so happy. Lovely of you to do this for her as a surprise, but this will be even better.

ReanimatedSGB · 07/02/2018 23:56

Definitely tell her. 'Surprise' gifts can be lovely but a lot of people fuck them up by allowing - or even planning for - the recipient to be sad and disappointed before the surprise is revealed (the traditional 'surprise party' when the person is led to believe that everyone's forgotten and no one cares is actually very manipulative, controlling and unkind.)

My DB and I arranged a party for our parents' 40th wedding anniversary but we planned it very carefully so that they knew they were having a 'surprise evening out' and it was something nice - my mum would never, ever have forgiven me if I hadn't let her know that she should dress up a bit for her treat...

HolyShet · 08/02/2018 00:03

Tell her!

Original poster
HowDoIKeepSecret · 08/02/2018 00:03

SGB I'd have been telling her in March anyway so no big surprise as such

OP posts: