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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if you do the work and meet the target, it's for the rest of the class to catch you up?

17 replies

DrSeuss · 07/02/2018 21:49

DD had a rough start to her schooling as a speech delay which needed a fair bit of treatment held her back with learning phonics. Basically, she couldn't detect differences in sounds very well and struggled to hear or say the ends of words. After a lot of effort from her excellent speech therapists, from us at home and most importantly, from DD doing exercises and word games to get better at these skills, she was discharged from speech therapy last year. Her speech is now pretty well normal and her reading has caught up well.

Her teacher has recently started a huge wall chart where each child has a token that moves forward every time they do their evening reading. We have always encouraged DD to do a bit of reading every night and were sure she would enjoy seeing this on the wall. However, her teacher drew lines on the chart and students had to "wait" at these points for others to catch them up. DH asked about this today and was told that it "wasn't fair" for DD and another student to be so far ahead of all the rest! DD is understandably a little confused- she did the reading, just as she was asked to and was looking forward to seeing her token move up towards a promised small reward. Surely it is for the others to catch her and her friend, not for them to wait for he others?

I know it's only a small thing and don't want to be "that parent" so I won't complain to the teacher. However, after all DD has been through to get this far, I really do feel a little resentful that she can't reach a target because the others haven't yet.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 07/02/2018 21:54

Make sure you understand the system before you go in all guns blazing. There may be a target per half term so that's why she had to wait.

DrSeuss · 07/02/2018 21:56

As I already said, I won't be complaining to the teacher. And the "not fair" comment is what boggles my mind. How is it not fair to have done more work?

OP posts:
Smurfy23 · 07/02/2018 22:02

It does seem a bit daft but then I suppose from the teachers point of view it acts as an incentive for the others to at least try and keep up.

Can you put in your own reward system at home?

Springiscoming123 · 07/02/2018 22:03

you may have felt differrent if your child was one of the last one's

RemainOptimistic · 07/02/2018 22:06

All part of the glorious self-effacing British culture!

readysteadyteddy · 07/02/2018 22:06

Teacher is muddling "fair" with "equal". She is trying to make them all equal, but the system isn't fair.

DrSeuss · 07/02/2018 22:07

Each child has a book suitable to their level. DD is not on the highest level of book, she just tries hard. Ability is not the issue, they only have to try.

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 07/02/2018 22:27

I don't really like the idea of the chart, but I guess your dd has reached her target, and that (ie her effort) is acknowledged and displayed. Each child needs to follow their own target, and even if the level of book is taken into account, there will be some children for whom (for a variety of reasons) the challenge is doing the reading at all.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 07/02/2018 22:32

How is it not fair to have done more work?

In the same way that it isn't fair if your parents couldn't give a rat's arse about your education and don't bother reading with you.

I'm sorry that you DD had a rough start, but she certainly won't be the only one. Rough starts come in all sorts guises.

TheNoseyProject · 07/02/2018 22:32

She just doesn’t want to tag another piece of paper on the chart Wink

BarbarianMum · 07/02/2018 22:48

Our school had a "reading rainbow". When you got to violet you got a prize (dojo points) and went round again. Worked well.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 07/02/2018 22:51

Despite your DDs issues, she clearly has engaged and interested parents. Sadly not all children do.

LizardMonitor · 08/02/2018 02:57

But she is getting to each stage first, or amongst the first?

WonderLime · 08/02/2018 03:04

Ability is not the issue, they only have to try.

Yes, it’s that simple. Hmm

Those children may very well be willing to try, but if the parent brings them home, puts them in front of the TV and doesn’t engage with their homework then how is that ‘fair’ for that child?

Why can’t you just reward your child for her hard work?

Happinessisthis · 08/02/2018 03:07

Has it been parents evening? Is this chart just a guise to get those parents who don't bother reading, to start reading at home with their child.

nitroxTrained · 08/02/2018 03:15

"Her teacher has recently started a huge wall chart where each child has a token that moves forward every time they do their evening reading."

It is about doing your reading at home. No mention of a set amount of time or finishing the book or what the book is, simply following the teacher's instructions. How old are the children? My 6 year old always gets his own book bag and brings it to one of us. My 3 year old has started to get a book and 'read' too.

I agree with the teacher (I am one). This is a good opportunity to motivate the class. It isn't reading levels or maths ability but who has done what was asked of them. I have used something similar but as a class they got a point (and moved forwards). When they got a certain number of points they got a treat and everyone's marker was reset on their line.

It is unfair that some parents don't care. I think that younger parents now are the generation who began to understand exactly what their rights and entitlements are but have never understood or been taught responsibility.

SecretDisneyAddict · 08/02/2018 03:22

I'm a teacher and I have a similar chart for times tables- not my idea, a school wide prescribed initiative.
It's great your daughter is reading and had made amazing progress with her speech. Well done to her and to you.
I can assure you that the chart was not invented for children and families like yours. It is there to encourage and drive children who do not have such great parental support.
Life isn't fair, life isn't equal. It's a life lesson that children need to learn. In the same way they have to learn the importance of understanding that the needs and realities of others will impact on them and their role in the group dynamic.... We all need to pay taxes, to fund an NHS, an education system etc even if we are healthy and without school age children ourselves. It's all about being part of a society where we understand our differences and work together for a common good.
Just as the children lower down on your daughters class reading chart have to realise the implication of their position on holding others back. It may not be their fault, many many children get no support or encouragement at home. So they will probably feel double the pressure and disappointment.
This could be down lack of their parents engagement, or due to having parents that work all the hours they can just to feed and house said children.

Set up your own system of reward at home, start a book review scrap book and send it in to show her teacher when it's full, I'm sure there will be house points or some kind of reward to recognise her effort.
Please remember: your child is very lucky that she has your support. This is more important and will help her in life far more than moving up a sticker chart.

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