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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

am I? doggy question.

17 replies

meto · 30/04/2007 21:30

first and hopefully only of these but am I being unreasonable - now I understand all pov view here but bear with me.

I have 2 dogs GSD is on his guard at the mo as other dogs keep coming into the graden - he is protective over what he sees as his territory iycwim. one neighbour has a puppy - they get on fine playing up and down the fence/puppy hasn't been into the garden yet however is digging some holes near it. (we intend to put wood down along the bottom so puppy can't come into our garden - I don't want to have any mishaps on any fronts.)

man tonight trys to stroke GSD - GSD is weary of people - not something we've brought out/done etc wasn't a rescue dog he just needs to take his time etc - he comes to you for sniffing etc he doesn't like hands going over the nose for example rather under the nose. anyhow I gave the man some cheese, GSD was happily accepting the cheese/giving paw etc and letting him have a stroke. man says we'll ahve to let the dogs play etc but if your dog goes for mine i'll raise my hand (man then went and raised his hands as if he would hit my dog) anyhow - I quite clearly said and stated.

I would rather wait until my DH was home before we attempt anything like that AND it would be better done not in my garden. now I understand he wants to prevent any mishaps and for the dogs to play nicely. he says i've seen your dog - WTF does that mean he might have seen him BUT my dog has had 2 other dogs come into the garden and attack him so how much of that is his fault iycwim. anyhow, after man gives dog the cheese etc we carry on talking and man says i'm happy to put pup over fence now - Que me i'd rather wait- man no i'll come round (now i'm home alone with 2 dogs and a baby asleep)

anyhow he lifts the pup over- I have GSD on a lead GSD went as if to bite however did not - GSD was told off. other dog was fine had a snif and was fine. man put pup down and gsd carried on playing with pup up and down the fence.

now I know this is long but am I unreasonable? I clearly said no and the man forced the issue I felt bullied almost into him putting his pup over even thou i'd said no. I am more than willing to pay for the fence, hell i'm more than willing for us to tlak the dogs etc together BUT I am not prepared for any of this to happen until my DH is there with me esp as I ahve a baby asleep upstairs. the man was pushing the issues when with our GSD he has to get used to things slowly iycwim. should I have just said oh yes mr man let you dog into my aarden and then i'll let you just beat my dog up if he lokos at yours in the wrong mattor.

don't get me wrong I understand that he obv doesn't want his dog hurt etc but why the need to push the issue - also to that end what would give him the right to hit my dog??

i'm not wanting a fight here but I feel I don't know really rather annoyed that he didn't listen to me saying no and the thought that he will harm my dog.

OP posts:
meto · 30/04/2007 21:31

man is due to move in august sometime but obv that's a long way off and a lot can happen between times.

OP posts:
fransmom · 30/04/2007 21:35

i don't think you're being unreasonable at all. it think this man is very rude to disregard your wishes.

powder28 · 30/04/2007 21:38

This man sounds weird. I would keep away from him if i were you, and tell your dh.

meto · 30/04/2007 21:38

he was drinking as well - not sure if/any effect that had but I don't like drunk people at the best of times. I actually felt rather threatened (tbh that's why I want DH there as well - not only to control GSD whilst I watch baby and other dog but also to be firmer as it were)

OP posts:
meto · 30/04/2007 21:39

we can't powder his garden backs onto mine (it's wired fencing)

as I say I fully understand socialising the dogs etc but even a year ago b4 the other dogs etc were in the garden I would have said the same - NO in the park yes in the garden no.

OP posts:
BigGitDad · 30/04/2007 21:45

This man was out of order and plainly disregarded your wishes. Next time you will have to be much firmer. This is all so easy in hindsight but I can see why you are cross. Maybe next time take your dog away from the situation and put it indoors, then that will defeat the neighbour's object of trying to socialise his dog with yours.
Given most dogs are territorial I would be very reluctant to have another dog in my house or put my dog in someone elses garden. Unfortunatley a lot of people are ignorant over these matters.

meto · 01/05/2007 08:10

bgd - that's my thoughts exactly and I know if you like the best way to get my dog used to him is not to go charging in like a bull in a china shop.

GSD was prob picking up on my unease which didn't help either. DH was not impressed at all when I told him when he got in, and said he'd deal with/sort it out in future. I guess that's one other fence we not have to watch till august

OP posts:
SweetyDarling · 01/05/2007 08:52

It is always a good idea to introduce dogs on neutral territory, so your instict was correct on every level. It was totaly wrong of your neighbour to force the issue and put his puppy at risk and putting you and your dogunder undue stress. What an idiot!

kslatts · 01/05/2007 09:20

You are not being unreasonable.

purpleduck · 01/05/2007 14:23

I've got 2 dogs - no you are not unreasonable. Man does sound weird, and also maybe not fit to have a puppy!!

sinnedalot · 01/05/2007 17:08

?

OrmIrian · 01/05/2007 17:11

No matter how lovely the dog, it will have problems with a strange dog in it's territory. Stupid man.

ash6605 · 01/05/2007 19:31

PMSL!!! clicked on this thread thinking you meant another kind of 'doggy' thought we were having a thread on positions!!
sorry just my mind working overtime!

pointydog · 01/05/2007 19:41

what does GSD stand for?

hellobello · 01/05/2007 20:02

German Shepherd Dog. If someone goes up to a strange dog to pet it, they can reasonably expect to get bitten. I am ALWAYS having to tell parents not to let their children approach our dogs without first asking us, since one of them really doesn't like it much. There's a really good website called Doglaw which solicitor Trevor Cooper is involved with. It may be helpful to take a look. The man sounds very stupid and frankly threatening. I hope you are ok.

Rachmumoftwo · 01/05/2007 20:09

I have a GSB who is a lot like yours. Quite timid at first but very loving. Like yours she has her territory and protects it. This makes her a good guard dog as well as a family pet.
If people visit with dogs we always go for a walk to introduce them, as then she is happy to let them into our home. I also prefer DH to take charge of such situations as he is physically stronger if said dogs decide not be be frinends, rare but always possible, Any dog owner with half a clue would find this to be a totally reasonable thing to do. Your neighbour has a lot to learn about dogs and people by the sounds of it.

WriggleJiggle · 01/05/2007 20:20

Not at all unreasonable. Man was being stupid. If YOU want to socialise your dog with his do it on your terms.
Somewhere neutral
With dh there
Possibly with your dog muzzled initialy
Certainly with a 'distraction' type thing for if anything gets out of hand - loud rattly noise, bucket of water
And very very slowly - walk to and fro past the other dog, stop a short distance apart with dogs sitting whilst you have a conversation, if all going well then let them get within sniffing distance.

As you say, your dog is just trying to protect the most important things in his life, his garden and his family. If you are at all nervous your dog will pick up on it and is more likely to show aggression, so it is really mportant you act calmly and confidently in front of your dog.

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