Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to even consider this?!

37 replies

CaptainApollo · 07/02/2018 11:07

I’ve been offered a place on a really competitive NHS degree course at one of two unis that still has the nhs bursary. I gave up a good job to do an Access course in the hope of getting a place so I’m chuffed to bits!

Problem is the uni is 150 miles away from home and I’m a mum. Kid 1 is in second year at uni, kid 2 is off to uni in September (and we will all be literally in different corners of the uk so miles away from each other!). Kid 3 will be 14 and starting year 9 and he is settled in a really great school
so moving him in not an option.

Is it mad to even consider this? I’m 40 so I have to do this now if I’m going to do it. My youngest can stay at home with his Dad so it won’t be upheaval for him, I should be able to drive home for weekends.

I could still be offered a place closer to home but that bursary will save me £30k in student debt!

Am I a terrible mother?! I’m so excited and nervous and confused!!

OP posts:
Original poster
CaptainApollo · 07/02/2018 12:55

Oh I’m actually quite proud of us for making our weird set up work! We did live apart for years but then we decided it was rubbish living in crap houses and shuttling the kids between us so we rented a big house together and we all have our own space. The kids have loved it!

Uni is Cardiff Smile

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 07/02/2018 13:00

I don't see the problem.
Your son is with his dad.
You'll be home at weekends.
Go for it!!!

Reallycantbebothered · 07/02/2018 13:11

Deleted message was spam....nothing mean at all

Original poster
CaptainApollo · 07/02/2018 13:14

Oh thanks Really! Just wondered if it was a juicy nasty one Grin

OP posts:
Trethew · 07/02/2018 13:14

Go for it

OutyMcOutface · 07/02/2018 13:23

Is there any reason why you can't wait four years? How is your relationship with your youngest? I would have been thrilled if my mother had moved 150 miles away-but we didn't get on. To be honest though, unless you are very close to your youngest/youngest doesn't get on with father, I don't think it will make much of a difference to them-it's quite normal for children that age to live away from parents either as a result of divorce/death or st boarding school. It's more about how you will feel about not being there for the last four years before all of you children leave home (presumably).

NordicNobody · 07/02/2018 13:52

What are you hoping to study? If it's medicine/ graduate medicine then I'll warn you, it's definitely not 9-5! I mean, the placements technically are but for most of the people I knew the extra study was very intensive and most people were up into the small hours studying most days. We studied through weekends, holidays, Christmas and most still only just kept their heads above water. It's a very gruelling 4/5 years, it really can consume your life, and in many ways that's just the start. Not trying to put you off, but I wish I'd had a less rose tinted view of it before applying. I did 2 1/2 years of the graduate course then was so burnt out I took a year off, fell pregnant and gave the whole thing up as a bad job, so I can't say I had a great experience and may be looking at it too negatively as a result. Of the 4 grads with children who started the course, only 2 completed it, and they were both men with very traditional home set ups (i.e. Mum does everything to facilitate husbands career). Not that the women were any less academically capable, they just had a huge amount of pressure put on them to also be super mum and withdrew from the course after feeling like they'd become "bad mums". So thats the first thought you need to really fight against! However, if your confident that you're going in with your eyes open and you've been offered a place then I'd take it because as you said it's very competative and there's no guarantee you'll get the offer twice if turn it down. If the course isn't medicine then I can't offer much practical advice I'm afraid. Hope that didn't come over too negative, I'm really not trying to dissuade you, but medicine in particular suffers from getting put on a pedestal by people who feel "called" to do it, and the reality is very jarring. It's a degree you really need to go into with very realistic expectations.

overnightangel · 07/02/2018 13:57

When it comes to placements you can request one nearer home, My friend was at uni 100+ miles away and got a placement in out hometown

Original poster
CaptainApollo · 07/02/2018 14:08

Outy- I want to do this now because of my age, plus I need a solid career in place for when all the kids have flown the nest! If I leave it another four years I won’t qualify until I’m 47/48 and I need to build up a pension. It’s now or never!

Nordic - it’s not medicine! Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s really helpful. It’s radiography which is a fairly full on course but I’m confident I can manage it Smile

OP posts:
NordicNobody · 07/02/2018 14:17

Oh ok, in that case I'd definitely say go for it. Even if you're doing the graduate entry course I'd say 2 years of very full on study is manageable without burning out. Especially if your son is living with his dad and you get on as well as you say. Good luck!

Original poster
CaptainApollo · 07/02/2018 22:17

Thanks Nordic! It’s 3 years as my first degree was useless so I’m starting from scratch but I’m sure it will all work out Smile

OP posts:
flumpybear · 07/02/2018 22:21

Sounds fabulous I'd go for it! See if you can get placements near your home too?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page