Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are you still a sahm if...

72 replies

Dancingfairy · 06/02/2018 19:35

Just looking for opinions. Are you a sahm if you are a single mother with young children but on benefits?( so the key point having no partner who is earning the money for you to stay at home) Or are you just a mother thats unemployed?? (To do with a comment my sister made)

OP posts:
DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 06/02/2018 20:11

You are a person who doesn't work and relies on state benefits to support yourself and your family.

As opposed to someone who WOH and relies on the state to pay a fortune in childcare costs when you could be doing it yourself at much less cost to the state.

CotswoldStrife · 06/02/2018 20:13

I'm a SAHM (I don't work, my DH does) and I had to put myself down as 'unemployed' on a credit check for a rental agreement! So could well be either depending on what you are doing!

PoorYorick · 06/02/2018 20:17

As opposed to someone who WOH and relies on the state to pay a fortune in childcare costs when you could be doing it yourself at much less cost to the state.

I thought most working parents paid their nurseries?

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 06/02/2018 20:18

Lots have help in the form of working tax credits (childcare element)

NotAnotherEmma · 06/02/2018 20:21

Dancingfairy

Neither, you're a burden on taxpayers or BOT for short.

ilovekitkats · 06/02/2018 20:22

I would say you are a SAHM if you are not looking for work. If you are looking for work, then you are currently unemployed. IMO.

lottiegarbanzo · 06/02/2018 20:22

Someone who chooses not to work and is not looking for work is definitely not 'unemployed', they are economically inactive.

When the government issues unemployment figures they absolutely do not include SAHMs. They only include people who are available for and actively seeking work.

Deshasafraisy · 06/02/2018 20:23

You are but the term used by the DM would be “single mother on benefits”

Battleax · 06/02/2018 20:25

Where you go OP?

Were you hoping to whip up some hate?

NooNooHead · 06/02/2018 20:28

I’ve been out of work since last August and have been unsuccessful in looking for work so I would still class myself as ‘unemployed’ even though I’m not sure i’ll get a job before DC2 arrives in June. I’m also going to say that I am a SAHM as I look after my DD during the week, so the school runs etc, although it isn’t a full time thing as she is 7 so I could work part time during school hours.

This will of course change when DC2 arrives and then I will be a full time SAHM (but also technically an unemployed person if I carry on looking for work). I guess the lines are quite blurred between the two.

Abracadabraapileofbollocks · 06/02/2018 20:28

It doesn't matter.

Original poster
Dancingfairy · 06/02/2018 20:28

Sorry I am here just wanted to get a broad range of opinions as according to my sister I'm not a sahm because I'm on benefits and instead she would call me "benefit street" so just wondering what others referred to it as.

OP posts:
DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 06/02/2018 20:44

she would call me "benefit street"

And you can call her a nasty cunt.

PoorYorick · 06/02/2018 21:35

And you can call her a nasty cunt.

Encore!

chocolateiamydrug · 06/02/2018 21:40

In my book, a SAHM is a mum who is at home but by choice and who can afford to do do. If you stay at home and you are entirely benefits dependent, then I'd think you are unemployed.

Happydoingitjusttheonce · 06/02/2018 21:44

Gwenhwyfar bad analogy. Neither pensioners nor children are of employment age. Whether it’s a partner or the state, someone is still supporting you to be at home.

YellowMakesMeSmile · 06/02/2018 21:44

All SAHPs are unemployed, they just use another name for it.

PoorYorick · 06/02/2018 21:44

In my book, a SAHM is a mum who is at home but by choice and who can afford to do do.

Plenty of married women become SAHM because of the cost of childcare, not because they sincerely want to give up work.

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 06/02/2018 21:57

Yes lots of SAHMs are reluctant SAHMs. They would rather WOH but the cost of childcare makes it impossible. It’s not always a choice. Lots of MNers post about this exact issue.

YetAnotherUser · 06/02/2018 21:58

The two are not mutually exclusive.

NataliaOsipova · 06/02/2018 22:05

Neither, you're a burden on taxpayers or BOT for short

So, so many people are, though. Even working people. Think about it. You have kids? How much does it cost to send a child to school each year? You have two kids? Three? Let's not even bother to think about your share of the budgets for the NHS, policing, defence etc. Unless you're a higher rate taxpayer, then you're taking out more than you're paying in.

There are far, far more net beneficiaries than there are net contributors....

NataliaOsipova · 06/02/2018 22:08

All SAHPs are unemployed, they just use another name for it.

"Unemployed" is an economic term. With a specific meaning. Which specifically excludes people not actively seeking work. It is used extensively in economic data, in all serious newspapers and even on the crap TV news. What's the term for people who fail to grasp this?

Thymeout · 06/02/2018 22:14

I'd say anyone who's at home looking after a pre-school child is a SAHM or SAHD. It's a full-time job that WOHM pay other people to do for them.

Crunched · 06/02/2018 22:33

Thanks for explaining that Donny and Bitchqueen.

I had to put myself down as 'unemployed' on a credit check for a rental agreement
I was told to put down 'unwaged' when a SAHP, and on no account to say unemployed.

Littlechocola · 06/02/2018 22:35

If you are a mum who stays at home you are a stay at home mum.

Is your sister being awful?