Coughs colds are normal in 5 year olds?

[flucoughcold]

Seperated from DS dad.

I have flu. Asked for some support as struggling.

Came back to me with that he's concerned I am neglecting DS who's 5 as the last times he's seen him he's had a cough/cold and I haven't taken him to the GP so he's potentially had coughs/colds for 3 weeks

My point is he's 5, at school in winter and they are constantly passing virus back and forth in reception and surely the school would have said if it was a concern. I assumed this was fairly normal

But AIBU?

It’s normal. He’s being a dickhead.

I wouldn’t take a kid to the doctor for a cold, a cough, or a mild temp. I have done when it was every day across a three week period - but it rarely is, is it?

If he’s so concerned then why can’t he take his own child to the doctor? Is it only neglect when it’s you?

Sorry OP I hope you feel better soon. This has wound me up a lot on your behalf!

I'm just sick of it... I have a bloody hard life, I do my best and sometimes I fail. I'm suffering with depression. I however go to therapy, see the GP, speak to the school, pretty much all the support there is... I make use of but have no family nearby or even if they were to rely on. But the slightest thing is cause to attack me or my parenting

I have flu and depression

And yet my son is clothed, fed, loved, but it's not good enough because I'm not fucking Mary poppins

Is it so terrible to ask his father for some support?

Oh god, DS is four and a half. From September when he went back to school until now it's felt like constant colds and snuffles. I'm sure there have been gaps, but it doesn't feel like it because if it's not DS it's me and if it's either of us it's DH.

Your ex is bvu

I don't know what more to do. Am I supposed to just shove DS into care despite trying my best? Over asking for some support as I'm shivering, sweating, vomiting and very low. I'm trying to get the basics done and yet I get attacked and abuse

What does he want from me?

Your ex is being a dick. My youngest is 5 and brought home a lovely cough/cold virus in November and its been constantly passing between all of us since then. Not one of us have been to the doctors because its a virus which they can do sod all about.

Coughs and colds spread like wildfire in schools and especially in reception and year 1 & 2. Ignore your ex being ridiculous.

You're really ill and need him to step up and help look after his child but he's more bothered about making you feel crap. He sounds bloody useless. I hope you feel better soon

He wants to kick you while you're down by the sounds of it. Could you ask any of your son's friend's parents and reciprocate another time?

Yeah I already have. I've had someone walk him home from school today as I couldn't stop vomiting. I've just had a load of abusive texts but everyone pussy foots around telling him to grow up and he's more concerned with rowing with me than making sure his son is ok

I left a marriage that was unhealthy for us all... now I'm hated. And at the end of my tether over this latest "neglect" accusation from him

See a solicitor and get a non molestation order. Have a word with the solicitor as you can get a free half hour consultation with most practices and ask for their advice because what you're experiencing is a form of coercive control.
You don't have to put up with this. Its abusive behaviour.
Keep the texts as evidence, have a word with the solicitor about his behaviour and he/she will offer real time solutions that you can implement which will give you back control. And that is what all of this is about OP. Control. His control over you.
Abusers always go for the vulnerable and at the moment, you are feeling understandably very vulnerable but you have to be strong OP and you have to be determined not to dance to his pathetic little tune. See that solicitor and be kind to yourself.

That's the bloody thing. I simply want a bit of support and DS wants to spend time with his dad and I want that to happen. I don't want a bloody long battle... just 2 parents making life a bit easier for DS via being reasonable

Why isn’t HE neglecting your DS? If he’s so worried why doesn’t he take him. It’s normal, there’s coughs and colds and a sickness bug doing the rounds in the DC school at the moment. It’s only a worry if it turns to a temp or goes on their chest. Hope you feel better soon.

God knows. It could never be him. He doesn't always show up, yells at me in front of DS, accuses me of manipulation if I allow DS to call his own father which he asks to do regularly, screams down the phone I don't warn him when his son will ask him questions... erm he's 5, I have no idea what's going to come out of his mouth and don't police it or rehearse!

Favourite text of the day from him: I'm not a psychopath because I can emphathise. I can never have compassion for you though.

I'm basically meant to shield DS from his behaviour (which I do try to) but he could simply just behave in the first place not pick away at everything I do

This man should not be seeing his child as far as I can see. Screaming down the phone!? To a 5 year old