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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really fed up of my dog?

128 replies

SweepDoggyDogg · 06/02/2018 11:51

Name changed as I know I'm being unreasonable.

But basically I have been begging DH for a dog for years. I always had dogs growing up, clever working dogs like labradors and collies. When I got my first house I got a Rottweiler which unfortunately escaped and got run over and killed. After that I had a German shepherd which was a rescue. Unfortunately he had been badly mistreated before coming to me and turned nasty so I had to rehome him to somewhere without kids. I've been desperate for a German shepherd ever since.

DH always flat out refused saying they were too big and he got bitten by one as a child. No amount of reasoning would work and I was so desperate for a dog. As a compromise he said I could get a small dog but it had to be a French bulldog as he'd always wanted one . Out of desperation for ANY dog I agreed.

We've had him now for two years and I'm so fed up. He's completely untrainable. Doesn't seem to learn anything and when he does, he'll refuse to do it depending on his mood. Example, he knows "sit" and "down" - 50% of the time he'll obey, 50% of the time he'll just go wild and start biting and barking as soon as you say the words.

I can't take him for walks as he'll simply sit there refusing to move unless we are on a route he approves of. Many times I've had to drag him home as no amount of praise or encouragement will shift him.
He'll be sat a few feet from you but will flat out refuse to come to you when you call him, he'll simply turn his head away or go off and do something else. Even a cheery "come here boy!" With clapping and enthusiasm is met with the equivalent of a raised eyebrow and he'll simply ignore you unless you have something he wants.

And he's so destructive. Wrecks everything he can get hold of. Still not house trained as he refuses to go out if it's cold.

We've had dog trainers and behaviourists in, they just say it's his personality but sometimes he's quite unlikable! I said to DH last night we may as well have just got a cat, we'd get the same interactions (or lack of) without the mess.

He has tons of toys and chews and god knows what else, gets loads of attention - well he did but the kids don't like him anymore as he constantly attacks them for no reason.

I went into a house yesterday and they had a staffie. She was the most beautiful creature ever, responsive, loving, obedient - made me pine even more for a "proper" dog.

I 100% regret buying him and feel awful for it. It's the first time I've ever felt like this towards a dog.

OP posts:

AlpacaLypse · 06/02/2018 14:56

OP if you want intelligent advice about your dog try the Doghouse section not AIBU.

sanasa · 06/02/2018 14:56

Ps I have a French bulldog rescue and my previous was a staffie which I had for 12 years. I had endless problems with my beloved staff. It's not the breed of dog.

Tara336 · 06/02/2018 14:57

Poor thing is bored from sounds of it. My dog has a routine but we chop and change our walks so that it’s interesting for him and he comes with me when I go out whenever practical so that his day is a bit different. We play, he sits and has a cuddle while we watch tv he’s basically included in as much of our lives as we can as the famil6 member he is. Please OP don’t get another dog they are not disposable when your bored of them.

QuimReaper · 06/02/2018 14:57

I think it's a bit harsh to blame OP for her dog getting run over - it can happen in a heartbeat, and has been known to happen to even the most dedicated owners.

Pinkbendyman · 06/02/2018 14:59

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas or until you get fed up with it.

Dogs ARE hard work, they require commitment from their owners.

Has he been castrated?

AtrociousCircumstance · 06/02/2018 15:00

Your dog attacks your kids? The dog can no longer be in your house, end of story.

Poor kids!

Olliver27 · 06/02/2018 15:02

My first step with this dog would be tethering him to you via a waistbelt and a harness on him, if you want to give him a chance.

Crate train him and have him in the crate every moment he is not tethered to you, until he is house trained and going where he is asked when walked, called, etc.

He's 2 years old and, although bulldogs can be slow to mature, he certainly should not be attacking your children or biting your DH's head... That's just rude behaviour.

Vets as a matter of urgency too, to ensure he's not deaf or in any pain from genetic defects, both of which are common in the breed.

VeganCow · 06/02/2018 15:03

Re home the dog (Bulldog rescue not gumtree et al, French Bulldog lovers will be queing up to turn this dog around) then never get a dog again. Ive worked with dogs with bigger issues than this and love, perserverance and consistency has worked in every case. I dont think you have the stamina or inclination, and it seems you are not a real dog lover (in the sense of the word that us on here that are real dog lovers understand)

NutElla5x · 06/02/2018 15:05

Wow you list all the dog's faults,which I admit a few of them I found quite amusing and lovable,but then you mention almost as an after thought that he attacks your kids constantly!What the fuck!Are you for real? You sound totally irresponsible and definitely not fit to have dogs and maybe not kids either.Rehome the dog and don't get another one-a 'real' one or otherwise- for God's sake :/

Lovemusic33 · 06/02/2018 15:06

I had to regime one of my dogs 6 months ago, I was devastated but he barked all the time, whined and knocked people over, the dc’s hated him as they could not have friends over (he would bark and knock them over), I finally gave in after trying many things. I still have my other dog but she’s not very well trained either, does what she likes but she’s getting old and slowing down. I have decided that I’m just no good at training dogs and when our old dog goes we probably won’t be replacing her. Cats are much easier.

diddl · 06/02/2018 15:23

So how uch responsibility does your husband take sine he got the breed of his choice?

Not wanting a GSD is fair enough, but then how was it a compromise to get the breed he wanted?

Is it that you can't really be bothered with this dog as it's not one that you would have chosen?

CaMePlaitPas · 06/02/2018 15:31

Are you saying your commands in French?

borderline11 · 06/02/2018 15:32

I don't see why you should "just not get another dog", you're a dog lover, but been unlucky in the ones you've had. I perfectly understand why you regret getting this one. You've done your best, don't let this dog ruin your life, and don't feel guilty to have these feelings. The right dog for you is out there, good luck.

SilverySurfer · 06/02/2018 15:35

Go ahead, dump the dog if you can't be arsed to put in the hard work needed to train it. But do all dogs a favour and don't get another one.

Confused2018 · 06/02/2018 16:02

God, no offence but I’m really not sure you should get another dog.

And honestly, with these type of threads it is ALWAYS a French Bulldog that is being posted about. I’m really not a fan of this breed, I’ve never known a well behaved, trained one, they have multiple bloody health issues and I honestly can’t see why people are so desperate for one. Let alone pay £2k for them!! Ridiculous!

I think you should try and rehome him through a reputable charity/ rescue, but I would definitely urge caution with getting another. Either you’ve had a genuine run of bad luck or the common denominator here is you.

PiffIeandWiffle · 06/02/2018 16:06

I'd look at rehoming this dog.

In the future maybe look at fostering a dog before rehoming it (if possible in your area).

Ignore all the "you're not worthy" comments, shit happens.

MrsJayy · 06/02/2018 16:13

What do you want people to say ? You need to stop getting dogs i would hand i your frenchie to a rescue and just stop harping on about perfect pets.

NoFucksImAQueen · 06/02/2018 17:43

I think it's a bit harsh to blame OP for her dog getting run over - it can happen in a heartbeat, and has been known to happen to even the most dedicated owners.

Agreed. Such nastiness on here sometimes. Bad enough it happening without being told it was your fault.

Rosetree123 · 06/02/2018 17:53

My pug used to be like this minus the attacking, at one point I hated him because he was so stubborn, hyper 24/7 and pissed and shat everywhere. I got fed up and phoned the vet one day to get him neutered and now he's like a different dog! He was about 4 at the time, it was either getting neutered or he had just grown up, remember your dog is only 2 and still a puppy.

TheVanguardSix · 06/02/2018 17:55

No dogs, OP.
I remember you from a few weeks back.
Animals and humans come as they are. It's not fucking build-a-bear/create your own dog, OP. Sorry to be harsh. But no dogs. You have an ideal of a dog you want. That's just a bad start.

Your dog is a difficult one. I get that. If you want a 'proper' dog, YOU have to make that happen. It's on you, OP. Your dog's behaviour says he's unhappy. He's in the wrong home. Rehome him. You've given up on him and there's no going back.

notanurse2017 · 06/02/2018 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyDeadpool · 06/02/2018 18:39

I don't see why you should "just not get another dog", you're a dog lover, but been unlucky in the ones you've had.

Unlucky? Really? Absolute bullshit, you don't get unlucky with a dog 3 times in a row. The dog isn't walked so is under-stimulated hence the hyper behaviour and I bet it hasn't been neutered. The OP doesn't know how to properly care for a dog that's why she's being told not to get another. People who can't look after animals properly shouldn't be keeping them it just adds to the amount of animals in rescue with behavioural problems. A Dog isn't just something you can pass off on someone else when it becomes hard work.

thecatsabsentcojones · 06/02/2018 19:20

Ditto, I think it's very harsh that people are blaming the OP for her dog being run over, these things can happen and it must be utterly heartbreaking. Stop being so judgy.

As for the dog, the big mistake was getting that breed. Fashionable dogs are so overbred and it causes huge problems. You should've stood your ground for the type of dog you wanted. However, I'd say that you've got him now, I'd be doing everything to make him a loved dog in your family. Someone suggested neutering, that'd be my first step if he hasn't been done already, then engage a bloody good trainer.

DragonBone · 06/02/2018 19:24

The frenchbulldog can be a stubborn breed - however training from puppyhood and adequate exercise would have prevented and issues.

It's so sad that you haven't trained the dog and have let 2 years go by with an uncontrollable dog... a dog needs boundaries and limitations that are only gained with training.

It's awful that now - this problem dog will end up in a rescue as 'someone' else's problem and depending on how badly behaved he is may even end up being PTS as rescues are overrun.

sanasa · 06/02/2018 20:16

Dragonbone couldn't agree more!

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