To ask my DH not to come back to bed?

[SinceWhenDid]

Dh and ds1 leave at the same time. First ds1's alarm goes off and wakes me up. Just drifting back to sleep when dh's alarm goes off.

He gets up, turns it off, checks ds1 is awake, goes to the loo. By this time I'm drifting back to sleep, knowing I have another 45 minutes of sleep...

Then he comes back to bed which wakes me up And then he lies there until ds is almost ready. And I lie there fuming as I know that if I start drifting back to sleep I'll be disturbed again as soon as he gets up.

Surely he is the only person in the world who gets up when their alarm goes off and the goes back to bed!

DH gets up much earlier than us too, gets dressed downstairs and leaves.

Yesterday I asked him to turn the hall light off when he goes. He said "but I thought you liked me leaving it on!"

When DH has to get up for an early flight he seems to try to make the maximum amount of noise I generally manage to fall asleep but the end up sleeping in.

Have you asked DS if he needs / wants his dad waking him?

My OH can get up, walk the dog, have breakfast and THEN go back to bed! Once I am awake and up, that's it for me, so I can't understand how anyone can carry out half their day then go back to sleep!

YANBU.

I don't understand how people are defending the husband on the grounds that 'it's his bed too'. It's not about possession, it's about purpose. It's their shared place to sleep, and he's disturbing hers for no good reason.

My DP and I live in a 3 bed house, no children - and he complained that I make him get dressed in the second bedroom rather than thumping around at all hours in ours.

Disturbing the last hour or so of my sleep can make me ratty half the day, and should be avoided if there's any sense being applied in the matter!

I've learnt that the only way to get DH to see my point of view is to do whatever it is back.

For example, if I come to bed first and I'm asleep, he crashes around and wants to talk. If he comes to bed first then I used to tiptoe in and slip under the covers carefully. I start crashing around myself, he makes a huge fuss and I say it's irratating isn't it so don't do it to me. His stock response is that if I know it's irratating why do it to him? He does eventually get the message, it seems to be the only way to make him understand.

They both leave at the same time. DS is 18.

So DH needs to set his alarm for when he wants to get UP, and then do it. He can check DS is up then if he really must!

So - set alarm for 6.30, actually GET UP at that point, DH and DS leave at 7 am.

I’d be extremely irritated too!

Very thoughtless if you have told him this wakes you up. Have you?

Interesting response Elder. You dont know any facts whatsoever, but jump to the 'poor DH' conclusion.

My DH gets up first because I am on maternity leave. He is able to get ready and leave for work without disturbing either of us. It can be done if you are not inconsiderate of others.

Separate rooms, OP - it's the only way! I can tell you it's heavenly. No disturbances - quilt pulling, burping, farting (unless their yours!) & especially all the snoring which pissed me off for years! Anyway, better not go on about that -there was a separate thread on it a few weeks back

Separate beds sounds blissful!

After I gurned at him yesterday he didn't come back to bed this morning and I went back to sleep

I mentioned walking the dogs as he has spare time in the mornings and he looked confused and insisted he doesn't have any time to spare...