AIBU...to think he’s lost the fecking plot?

[Pinky14]

Ok, long story short - my dad widower of just gone three years is moving his on off girlfriend, her daughter (14) and their dog into his three bed house. His on off g/friends (who is in early 50s, he is 77) ex husband doesn’t want to pay child support any more. Even though she lives mortgage free she has told my dad she can’t support herself (she’s too thick to work and doesn’t want to stack shelves...!) so she is selling her mortgage free house to shack up with him. He discussed it with me on Saturday and said he doesn’t want to upset me. I told him it’s daft but don’t sell her house as if it goes tits up he’s stuck. He ummed and ahhd and said they’d had a few estate agents round but nothing concrete. When he leaves I check right move, her house is already on the market...so angry he lied to me. They want to pay me off with money from sale of her house (my dads house is half in my mums trust) she wants to buy into his house so when he pegs it she can stay. She might pay less than a third of what it’s worth this will leave her with £100k plus cash in her bank and a nice three bed house. AIBU to think my dad needs sectioning?

Sounds like he's going to have a jolly old age.

Sorry, I don't know the finances involved, but an 84-year-old neighbour of mine went to live with his gf who was in her forties, much to his dd's disgust. He lived until he was 92 and she looked after him until the end.

So you would get a lump sum now and whatever is in your DM's trust when your Ddad passes? Plus your dad gets company which he clearly enjoys? I must have misunderstood somewhere for you to object, sorry,

I have just re read, I honestly think if she was trying to rip him off she wouldn't be buying into the house she would just live there rent free and allow her money to grow or rent her house out, she sounds pretty committed to me?

I agree with resting your dad deserves happiness without his kids bitching about how it financially affects them. I'd be happy for him

Actually the issue with this arrangement is that should your father need care the money paid to you is in effect early inheritance. My understanding of the rules is that this can be clawed back to pay for care. There is also the issue of IHT depending on the value of the home.

Go and see an elder care lawyer with your father so you both know where you stand. It's well worth the fee.

Surely she should rent her house out and live off that income? Madness!

PP sounds like she is trying to get a bargain and pay less than the mums half of the house is worse. I wouldn't be quiet about that either

worth

So your concerns are your inheritance and whether or not this woman is going to rip your dad off? She wants to pay you off at less than market price? I would just say no. Your dad's a grown man and he can make his own decisions, but that doesn't mean you have to agree with any financial decisions involving you if you think the decisions are not in your best interests. Obviously it's disappointing that he lied to you, but presumably he's just trying to keep both you and the girlfriend happy. You could call him out on it, but you're going to have to tread carefully, yes it's important to protect your inheritance and your dad's interests, but your relationship is at risk too.

If she buys into the house then I'd be concerned about what happens if they split up. The house might have to be sold or perhaps she'd even be able to stay in it as she could afford to buy him out with the money she'd have from her house. He wouldn't be able to as you'd have part of it of the money (less IH tax? so you couldn't help) and he couldn't get a mortgage. Would he be ok with this?! I'm not saying that's the intention here but who knows what's going to happen.

If half the house is in trust from your mums estate, how can he legally sell her half the house without you knowing about it? Wouldn't you need to sign something?

So let's say hers is worth £200,000 and she gives your dad £100,000

His is worth £300,000 but he only owns £150,000 them she can only buy half of his half?

So effectively upon death you already have £150,000 mums half plus his £75,000.

She would need to find £225,000 to buy you out? So she'd be homeless anyway

Madness