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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Slow eating - I’m losing my mind.

32 replies

RoseCuntedGlasses · 05/02/2018 19:13

Over the last couple of months, my 4 year old DD’s eating has slowed to a crawl. You could give her a plate of chips with a side of chocolate and a bowl of ice cream and it would still take her over an hour to eat it. She says she’s hungry and she doesn’t have snacks so it’s not like she’s too full to eat. It’s just such a bloody chore for her.

It’s absolutely doing my head in. I don’t know what to do for the best and I’m really conscious of trying not to give her issues around food, but for fuck’s sake DD, just eat your bloody tea (and breakfast, and lunch). I wouldn’t say that to her, of course. I’ve had to come away from the table and leave her to it because it’s making me cross. Every. Single. Meal.

She starts school in September and I can just picture her sitting in the school hall for the entire lunchtime working through a single sandwich.

So AIBU to want to try and do something about this, or should I ignore it and hope it passes? Have you had a slow eater and how did you change it?

OP posts:
hotmumma69 · 05/02/2018 19:15

maybe they have a small esophagus. my 22 year old child has this.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 05/02/2018 19:15

Just here for support. DS6 is exactly the same and it's temper breaking.
I don't know what to do about it.

toolonglurking · 05/02/2018 19:16

I am a slow eater, but it's never been a problem, apparently its better for your digestive system. Why does it make you do angry? Could you just let her eat at her own pace?

SleightOfMind · 05/02/2018 19:16

Check there’s no physical cause (tongue tie etc) before pushing them to eat faster.

Wingbing · 05/02/2018 19:17

My DS ears slowly too. It is annoying. He doesn't do it at school though.

Wingbing · 05/02/2018 19:17

eats

Thesmallthings · 05/02/2018 19:19

If known chuldren like this. That lottery take a nibble of a bit of food..

Personaly id give them a time frame of 20 minutes to 30 to eat then take it away

OuchBollocks · 05/02/2018 19:22

Better for her than being a gobbler. You can always set a timer then clear away. When it comes to school you can cut her lunch up small (1cm squares of sandwich etc) to take some of the work out of it for her if you want.

Original poster
RoseCuntedGlasses · 05/02/2018 19:25

She hasn’t always been like this, it’s just something that’s come on. She didn’t have tongue tie as a baby though.

It’s not a catastrophic problem, but if left to her own devices she’d probably still be eating breakfast at lunchtime, lunch at tea time and it’d be midnight before she went to bed after eating her tea. I find myself getting cross because she says she’s hungry, I cook her things she likes and she just get bored of eating and wants to go off and play leaving half her meal. I guess I’m annoyed because it didn’t used to be like this!

Thanks for the solidarity, fellow parents of slow eaters (P.O.S.E posse Smile)

OP posts:
Original poster
RoseCuntedGlasses · 05/02/2018 19:26

Ooh that’s a good idea OuchBollocks, thanks. I’ll try that.

OP posts:
HouseFallingApart · 05/02/2018 19:28

DS was like this at this age. His teacher said to get a timer, 30 minutes, when it's done it's done. That worked really well.

Another thing is they have a small toy on the table, in DDs case a my little pony. After 3 mouthfuls the pony does something like a somersault and a neigh. Gradually increase to every 4 mouthfuls, then only a dance at the end of dinner.

nevereverever83 · 05/02/2018 19:28

could you try giving her some of her calories in liquid form so she can just drink it like for breakfast a fruit and yoghurt smoothie with oats and a fat straw? Or lunch could be a smaller sandwich (say half a sandwich i.e. one slice of bread with filling) and a mug of soup (a mug, so that she drinks it rather than spoons it)? Or perhaps even softer foods so less chewing very creamy mash, stuff like that?

MsJudgemental · 05/02/2018 19:29

20 minutes, then take it away. They won’t let her sit there all lunchtime at school.

DriggleDraggle · 05/02/2018 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HouseFallingApart · 05/02/2018 19:36

I eat slowly compared to some, but with kids they can take it to a whole new level of slow.
We make sure they chew food, eat with their mouths closed and general table manners, but sitting there for 1.5-2 hours is ridiculous.
Eating properly in a timely manner doesn't have to mean gobbling it down like it's a race.

fuzzyfozzy · 05/02/2018 19:37

I'm a childminder and have a slow coach who's going to school in September.
I've worked out how long it takes him, and I'm slowly reducing the time he's given until it'll be down to half an hour.
Any longer than that and they won't have a good run around at lunch when he gets to school.
I give warnings then it's cleared away.

StrongerThanIThought76 · 05/02/2018 19:37

My dsd did this, drove us all nuts.

Yes to timer, don't make any fuss but be clear that if she doesn't finish it in 30 minutes (main and pud especially) it's going in the bin.

Took us a few weeks of 'I'm staaaaaaarving' an hour after a meal to drum it in.

georgeoutside · 05/02/2018 19:39

20 minutes, then take it away. They won’t let her sit there all lunchtime at school.

Why? Just why? Some people do eat slowly.

As for school, it's entirely possible she will eat at the same pace as her friends so she can get out to play

Slow rating wouldn't worry me at all

georgeoutside · 05/02/2018 19:40

Yes to timer, don't make any fuss but be clear that if she doesn't finish it in 30 minutes (main and pud especially) it's going in the bin.

You really binned perfectly good food that your child was going to eat? Albeit slightly slower than the rest of you!

Original poster
RoseCuntedGlasses · 05/02/2018 19:41

Thanks everyone. I’ll give the timer a try, and the toy on the table - that sounds like something she’d like.

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 05/02/2018 19:42

My DS eats slowly, he just does. He also doesn't have a huge appetite and even less so if I try to rush him. He gets upset when I try and will say 'but Mummy I am just taking my time' and I stop and think you know what ok. His Dad gets frustrated even though my MIL ALWAYS talked about what a slow eater he was as a child (and he still is as an adult!). Our dinner ladies are very kind, they tidy away around him if he's still eating and it's never been a problem that I've been told about. Leave her alone.

MiniCooperLover · 05/02/2018 19:48

Don't go down the toy route unless you truly have to! Our DS is an only and it has been a pain in the arse when visiting others who aren't allowed them and he then gets upset.

HouseFallingApart · 05/02/2018 19:51

Good luck. I know it can be so frustrating.

Like I said eating in a timely manner does not mean eating like it's a race.

HouseFallingApart · 05/02/2018 19:52

We only did the toy for a couple of weeks, it was fine.

DontbouncelikeIdid · 05/02/2018 20:00

I am a slow eater, and my DS is too. It did get ridiculous for a while, and I did what some other people have suggested, and gave him a time limit of 30 minutes to eat dinner. It worked really well. He eats at a more reasonable pace these days, although still on the slow side.

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