Couples finances

[Chris2202]

My fiancée and I are trying to find a reasonable and fair way to handle our finances together. We have slightly different views on what is fair regarding the finances. How to split the expenses and how we split the ownership of our flat. Is anyone of us being unfair?

A bit about the financial background:

We bought a flat together in 2015 for £ 481 000.
Person A had £ 150 000 in equity
Person B had £ 85 000 in equity.
We borrowed £ 300 000, i.e £ 150 000 each.

The rest amount £ 54 000 was used to buy a car, furniture etc, as well as a vacation for Person A.

Person A earns £ 42 000 per year, not including capital income of £1 500- £5 000. Person A also gets regular money gifts from parents for personal use, about £1 000 to £3 000 per year.

Person B earns £ 56 000 per year, but has neither capital income nor gets help from parents.

The salary of Person B is going to increase due to the profession, whilst the salary of Person A will not.

Since buying the flat in 2015, Person B has contributed £ 25 000 more to the household than person A.

Person A is of the opinion that A should own more of the flat according to how much they had with them into the relationship, i.e according to the equity share. Furthermore, that all expenses should be split depending on the salary, i.e the one with the highest salary pays more than the one with lower income. However, capital income and the regular money gifts from parents should not be taken into account when defining income.

Person B is of the opinion that if A shall own more of the flat, then all expenses should be paid equally as well. An alternative is that A owns more than B in the beginning, and what B contributes more to the household goes into the flat so that in a few years they own the flat 50/50. After that expenses are split depending on salary. A slight different alternative is that Person B takes a larger share of the debt, so that they own the flat equally, and then can split the expenses depending on income. Person B also thinks capital income should be regarded as normal income when sharing the expenses.

What is most fair? What is the fairest way split the ownership of the flat, and the living expenses? Is A unreasonable, or is B unreasonable?

Thank you for reading
Chris

you sound like business partners more than a couple. Fair enough if that works for you but it doesnt sound like it is otherwise why post?

As a couple about to be married id have expected all property and money to be considered jointly owned and pooled together to finance a lifestyle that both agree on.

As Ive said not all couples do it that way. Some people like to keep everything separate but i would really say if you are having this big debate about exact figures before a wedding id personally be a bit dubious about marrying.

Person A is taking the piss

Does A actually count money they spent on a holiday as equity towards the flat? But doesn’t think their extra income counts as income because it’s theirs? Nobody should be in a relationship with A much less engaged.

£54k on furniture, a car and a holiday for one person?!

Attitude towards money can be a huge point of conflict between couples if you're not broadly on the same page. I agree with others who say this is a worrying sign.

Unless you enter into a Pre-Nup before marriage, everything may end up in the family "pot" and subject to an equal division. Will of course depend on circumstances IF there is a separation later on.

If you both feel the same way and want to record how you operate your finances, then of course that's fine, but it sounds like you both have different expectations which could lead to a rift or resentment.

I'm confused why isn't the flat in a 50/50 split to start with and if use are serious about this and want to move in together then finances should be put together and bills etc should be paid then split in middle then use do as u please save some or spend but it really shouldn't be that hard can only imagine married life and kids if use can't agree on the simplest of things and realise that it's both ure money and use pay equally despite who what share and who's income will increase

Why the fuck did you take out an extra £54k in loan expenses when you weren't spending them on the house?!? You will be paying extra interest for YEARS for a holiday and a car. Insane.

That being said, I'm assuming 1st marriage for both of you and no children.

Suggest you two go down to the registry office and get married next week. Seriously. You're engaged, and you have decided to marry each other. Tell A you want to get married immediately. Tell her house will be 50/50 and you're going to pool your incomes so the mortgage and bills are paid, savings and pension accounts are maxed out, and you each have the same amount of spending money.

If/when you have children, obviously spending money on each of you will need to be cut back and re-allocated to the needs of the children.

50/50. Equal partners, equal investment in the marriage, equal 'fun' money.

If you're not both on board with this, then call time on the entire relationship.

Sell the house, give the deposits back, then split the rest.

FFS.

I was going to say that person A had a right to protect the equity that they had put in, because I don't think it is fair that a spouse can walk off with 50% of something that they contributed nothing towards, BUT......

If Person A had £150K equity, but used £54K of that to buy holiday, car etc, then that reduces his equity to £96K against £85K, and had to borrow equal money, so the difference is not actually that much.

If the mortgage is £150K borrowed each, then I would say that 50/50 is a fair split on everything.

IF however the £54K hadn't been spent by A, then I don't see a problem in them wanting to protect their money. Some marriages are very short lived now and it would be very unfair to person A for person B to walk away with thousands of pounds after a couple of years.

A split in the ration of 150/85 would have been fair on the equity otherwise.