Who’s lie-in is it anyway?

[rumbuba]

DH is annoyed with me but I’m not sure how bad I should be feeling about it.

DH has the morning off of work today (was meant to be the whole day but he forgot he has a big project meeting this afternoon at work). He was out at our local watching the super bowl til 4am.
I woke him up at 7:30 to get DC1 (3yrs old) ready for nursery and to get there in time for breakfast at 8:30 (15m walk one way, or 25m with little legs).
He is annoyed because he should be getting a lie in (he says it’s the whole reason he took the morning off). I said he could go back to bed when he returns as he doesn’t need to leave for work until midday.

The reason I haven’t done nursery drop off today (or any day he’s had off) is because I’m up with 6week old dc2 for large chunks if the night (i’m breastfeeding so he can’t exactly help with that yet and he works full time so even if bottle feeding i would generally do it and let him sleep).
He hasn’t been sleeping well recently, mild insomnia and a bad back (which he still hasn’t seen anyone about but that’s for another day). He sleeps in the spare room so we don’t disturb him with the nighttime feeds & nappy changes. He sometimes shares with us on weekends but if he’s been drinking he snores so I send him to the spare room anyway.

I would usually be sleeping when the baby sleeps during the day but we have builders in drilling and sawing and asking me questions so i’m either hiding in the living room watching tv with headphones or escaping the house to the local mall / meeting up with local parents for coffee (this extension was meant to finish 2 weeks before dc2 arrived, but if course building work takes a million years longer).

So I’m currently sat in bed feeding dc2 feeling a bit shit and DH has gone off in a huff to get dc1 to nursery.
Should I have done the nursery run today?

Unless he stays up until silly times and expects a lie in every week then YABU. I say that as someone breastfeeding a 4 week old and with a 2 year old, so I do understand.

I can see where you're coming from but if he took the morning off specifically because of his plans to watch the Super Bowl and you ordinarily would have done the nursery drop off, then I think I might have left him to sleep.

This....It is the Super Bowl after all.

I'd have let dh lie in as well. He'd have returned the favour another time.

I would have done the school run, super bowl is a special once a year occasion.

I would have let him lie-in. You were already up so I think YABU(sorry).

I think yabu slightly, purely because you should have told him he'll be doing the school run on his morning off yesterday/day before.

Yanbu expecting him to do it, communication was key here.

If he booked the morning off specifically so he could watch the super bowl until late I think you're being a bit mean actually.

Yeah this really

I think you should have let him have a lie in seeing as it's a one off and you were up anyway.

Thanks for the replies everyone!

Yes I was already awake, desperately trying to move the baby back into the crib without waking so i might try and sleep (didn't work in the end, my ninja skills are lacking in this department).

Dc1 didn't have to be at nursery at that time, just easier than doing breakfast at home while builders traipse their stuff through the ground floor with all the doors open ❄️

I have conceded IWBU as I didn't communicate my expectation that he would do the nursery run, I just assumed as he always does them on his days off. We are both just so tired, any type of forward planning is a lot of effort but I'll try harder to avoid this type of situation again

It transpires the reason he was way more grumpy than I expected was that he thought I had passive-aggressively turned the spare room lights on to wake him after i called.
We have phillips hue lights and he didn't know there is an automation to switch those lights on every weekday morning at 7:30 (he leaves at 6:45 so isn't usually there).
We just had a good laugh about it!

I'd have said you should have let him sleep, but make him owe you two lie ins. If he didn't book the morning off, you'd have had to do the school run anyway. And whatever happened to give and take and being generous with each other rather than tit-for-tat straight down the middle equal everything.

Swings & roundabouts.