Kids Corner WWYD

[Whatwouldyou]

Name changed for that and will do my best to not drip feed. It's not my story but I was a part of the discussion and it looks like my opinion wasn't that popular so maybe I am just the weird minority.
An acquaintance of mine, let's call her Ann went to a cafe with her child who is 3. He is a "lively" boy (which to me always sounds as an euphemism for being bold). He went to play in the kids corner of the cafe, brought some toys to the table and as they were leaving, ran out on the street. She was just about to return one the toy cars back to the kids area so she left it on the windowsill outside the cafe and ran to catch him.
The waitress went to fetch the car and told her that that kind of behaviour is bad as they leave toys everywhere and tidying up the toys after misbehaving children shouldn't be her job and the kids corner is a mess. Ann ironically suggested that if the waitress looks after her child she will go and tidy up the toys in the corner.
Ann was all upset because she believes the waitress was rude and complained to the owner.
There was a heated discussion where one side was supportive of Ann, saying if restaurants want to keep the families as clients they are expected to tidy up after kids.
The other side would say that it is really disrespectful to not only staff but also other guests to leave toys everywhere and it should be normal to teach your children to clean up their mess. It's also dangerous to leave toys around the restaurant as the waiter could step on them. Ann's DS also tends to run around the restaurant which she begrudgingly acknowledges isn't the best scenario.
What do you think?

So I'm assuming all the people saying she should teach her child not to run out would blame her if her child got ran over? If someone said their kid got knocked down by a car you'd say "well you should parent better." I ran out into the road as a child. Never done it before or since. My siblings had never done it. Don't know why I did it. Wasn't my parents fault though.

Ann. If I had a dc unable to sit quietly in a cafe, I would either limit visits to short bursts to get him used to it or not visit at all.
As it is, I take my two dc out and both 5 and under sit at the table and if mess is made I ask for a dustpan and brush to clear mess from the floor and a cloth to wipe up any mess. This often gets refused, but if not, I happily clear up because it’s my mess because they’re my kids. Either way, a decent tip.

I HATE the way people allow their children to drop food everywhere and then leave it all under the table when they leave. We always tried to minimize the mess and then check under the table before we went. I have a very high gag reflex and it used to make me vomit seeing the ground-in food on the floor. I had a friend who let her child squeeze eggs and sausages etc on the highchair tray when others were trying to eat plus then get cross when I tried to pick up the detritus off the floor that her child had dropped. She said it's what kids do. No it isn't. It's just rude and obnoxious. Waiting staff aren't paid to clear up your child's food and by slaves.

Children running round restaurants isn't normal. Comments like 'my child is a live wire' and 'you obviously don't have a child like mine' are just excuses ..... it's very easy to let a child run riot and become the ruler of the family - it's harder but more rewarding to teach them boundaries and levels of behaviour. There's nothing nice about someone's snotty child running round and up to your table when you are trying to eat.

All kids have an off day - but that's the day you don't choose to subject everyone to it. Entitled parenting = out of control children who turn into entitled adults.

Ann. Sounds the kind of parent that leaves a plateful of food scattered over the floorfor someone else to clear up - disrespectful.

Giving Ann the benefit of the doubt, we’ve all had times where our previously well behaved children have had a mad afternoon.
I guess she couldn’t take the toy back in to the cafe and leave him to frolic in the traffic.

She was completely wrong not to apologise profusely to the waitress though and running around/climbing on furniture etc in restaurants is not on at all.
That bit makes it sound like she’s a shit parent and expects everyone else to put up with her out of control child.

I have the utmost sympathy for Ann. My son has ASD and possibly adhd and was exactly like this aged 3. I’m not saying her son does btw, but it’s frustrating and upsetting either way. We left places earlier than anticipated a lot. I got a lot of unhelpful “advice” from strangers. I still do when DS kicks off. I do try and clean up when we leave places. When he’s having a meltdown staff usually take over, probably because they want us gone ASAP!

I’ve worked in retail for years too and customers making a mess that staff have to clean up afterwards is annoying and frustrating I get how the waitress feels however some things are better left unsaid in my experience.

most of Mums were of the opinion that you are entitled to do whatever you like in a restaurant and the staff should just swallow it

Every single one of those mums' is wrong.

Busy - my live wire comment doesn't mean inlet my child be unruly and run riot, my child can be particularly difficult at times which means he needs controlling, which both me and my husband do, but ffs the kid ran in the road, live wire kids can be a danger to themselves, fuck putting a toy back in that situation, besides if Ann was still there to hear the waitress perhaps she didn't get the chance to calm the situation before returning the toy and the waitress was perhaps being quick to judge familiar?!

Ann us definately in the wrong.

Agree with PP that these are probabky the very patebts who's kids makes right mess, run riot stick every sachet of ketchup all over their dinner and table , and nore food ends up on the floor.

Who leave snotty wipes and tissues all over the table and leave the rest floating in lemonade that was ckearky in a bigger glass than the kid could manage.

But never mind the staff are laid to clear it up

Family friends doesnt mean you allow your child to act like an animal. In fact dogs usually behave better. speaks from experience

If they are getting fidgety go for a walk outside or something and your friend or partner can text u when the food arrives

Didn't Anne just need to explain that she was in the process of returning the toys when she had to get her son and fully intended to come back to finish after she had done so?

Mountain out of a molehill on both sides.

This. Assuming she really WOULD have bought her son back inside to put the last toy back.

IF the waitress literally reacted to a car on windowsill as Ann raced after child then she was overreacting and unprofessional. However, the ensuing discussion still suggests that Ann and friends think leaving a mess is OK, which it isn't.

I'd expect young kids to temporarily make a mess (within their own space) but also expect to put things back afterwards.