To end a relationship over these reasons

[BehindThecamera]

I feel like I’ve had enough but thought I’d get other opinions.

He’s lazy around the house, will happily walk past rubbish on the floor/any mess, will stuff the kitchen bin full of rubbish instead of emptying it, leaves his clothes all over the landing or his side of the bed then asks “where’s this where’s that”, smokes outside the front door and just throws his fag butts on the lawn when I’ve left an ash tray for him to use, basically does pretty much no housework will occasionally run the hoover around downstairs, when he washes up things are still left dirty, never cooks, won’t go food shopping says he doesn’t know how or what things to get. He allowed a fine to mount up which ended up with the bailiffs at my door.

We never have sex anymore, he doesn’t seem to fussed about it either, I’m bored and I want to feel attractive and loved instead of a boring chubby Mum.

I’ve been at work this afternoon and after coming home tonight the house a mess and him lying on the sofa I just feel like I’ve had enough and would actually rather be a single Mum. Every time he finishes work his tea is waiting and the house is tidy.

Then there’s a part of me that thinks, he does go to work and earns money, he’s a good dad and we can have a laugh together. I think seeing my own mums failed relationships a man that actually works seems to be something you should be grateful for in itself!

Any advice before I speak to him tomorrow!

We aren’t married, we have a dd who is 3. I’m 22 and reallllly can’t picture the next 10 20 years like this, he makes me feel unattractive!

He knows I’m pissed off so he’s been trying to act all nice, trying to cuddle me and rub my back. I’m working from home today and he’s saying why don’t you just get into bed and have some sleep .

He’s just come in the room now saying what do I do with this then (it’s a letter with a barcode on to get an amount of the gas/electric bill) I said have a look at the letter, it says it all on there! He’s got one on him now. The more I think about it all and how he acts he just looks so fucking childish.

U have a manchild who expect u to do what his mum would do for him when he was 7 and u're doing it and putting up with if he doesn't know how to food shop it not that hard how does he managet to go to work excuses all the time and messes the house up and won't clean up he says he will change but he won't he's spent his whole life being looked after and everyone else doing everything for him he won't last but u knew this long before this and now it's a problem why all of a sudden have u decided u don't like it and it annoys and gednot fulfilling his requirements as a man around the house with the baby and he's not interested in any sex at all why is this ure obvs feeling like themym and he sees u as it yeah sit down with him and talk but its been burned into him his mum did everything for him and then he just carried on when he moved in with u but u did it and never said this isn't happening I'm not doing this1 thing that's highly unattractive is a man that can't look after himself he still acting like it's mum's and uve played the role well imagine walking past full bin bags and not changing and leave ure clothes all over the place my ,9 year old is better at looking after himself and he's autistic get rid of the manchild send him back to his mum's move on find someone that's going to be passionate with u make u feel Alive again and want to help without u asking that's s real man in crazy about my partner who. I bf who I've been with for 12 year he s everything I need and want we have 3 kids together and were still crazy about each other and have sex every week as u need to put the effort in if it will not work he helps with everything I don't need to ask he just does it as it's half his responsibility plus it gets him extra brownie points x

I left for similar reasons...life is now fabulous!

One of your reasons was enough.

You're only 22. You're SO young and have your whole life ahead of you. Do you want to spend it with someone who treats you like a maid? From what you've said here, he's not going to change. His behaviour has obviously been learned from his father who by the sound of things has treated his mother the same way as he's treating you now. You don't want your DC to grow up thinking that's the way things work either. I think in your shoes, I'd be leaving. Actually in your shoes I'd be telling HIM to clear out but obviously that depends on your home circumstances etc, but at just 22, no, please don't spend another 60+ years like this.

After a weekend of him being a lazy sod I want to end things tonight, since I last posted I spoke to him AGAIN how I felt and I can tell nothing is going to change!

Any ideas how to word what I want to say I don’t want to get upset or fuck it up

What do you actually want to happen? Do you want him to move out, or do you want to move? Do you have a tenancy agreement? If so, when does it end? Would you want to be the primary carer for your DC or would you prefer it to be 50/50?

When you've worked out the basics of your proposed separation, you need to sit him down and calmly tell him that the relationship isn't working for you anymore and you want to separate. Perhaps try not to put the blame on him, simply because this gives him the opportunity to say he'll change, he'll try harder etc, which you know won't happen.

How do you think he'll react?

Tenancy is in my name. I’d like him to move out but I know that won’t be possible straight away and in those weeks/months of him saving to leave he’ll by trying to get back together or it will be very awkward.

We split up 2 years ago but he wanted to leave so left within days I know me finishing it will be hard to get him to leave. He’d see dc every weekend or every other I’m guessing because of work.

I don’t really want to get into an argument I sort of just want to say I would like to split, him to say ok and leave but I know it’s not going to be that simple.

At this moment I feel like my life would be so much easier without him and that I would be ok on my own.

He will either try and argue or will say something like well that’s that then but then nothing changes!

You’re 22?

Thank god you’ve seen the light! You have your whole life ahead of you.

Just say ‘I’m done. You need to move in to your Dad’s’.