to give up styling my sparse hair?

[theramengirl]

I have Androgenetic Alopecia and extremely low ferritin. It's been getting progressively bad over the years. Styling it up, down, doesn't matter, my bald spots show, and if I stand under a direct light source, it is brutal. No cut can do anything for my hair, because there simply is not enough of it. After years of heartache and spending insane amounts of money on mousse, thickening serums and the works, I have decided not to bother about my hair anymore. So these days I simply wash and dry my hair, unlike before my hair is now just a blunt cut till my shoulder.

I know I don't look good with this cut, as it doesn't flatter my round shaped face and curls up in all the wrong places (even resulting in cowlicks), but I simply have no other choice, as the bun is too small if I put it up, too scanty girth for a clip and a pony tail style becomes a rat's tail with my hair. It has frustrated me so, so badly that I have completely given up. I don't even want to bother with an iron anymore, so I have just been going out and about my life with 'naked' air, that is, no styling products, just wash and dry, with a weekly DIY conditioning treatment thrown in.

Recently I got feedback from a close friend (she was not nasty about it) that I ought to do something about my hair, perhaps get a wig or at least hide my bald spots with hair fibres. I work in the media (not before the camera), and she commented that if I go out to meet clients with such unstyled and sparse hair, I will forever have to deal with stares and questions of pity (TBF, people do automatically look at my crown and sides, and spend a second too long gaping at my bald spots) and may even not make a favorable impression professionally. She thinks that 'unkempt' hair will be construed as laziness and ultimately not do me any favours.

I am curious to know what MN thinks. What'd you think if you see a a woman in her mid-30s, otherwise professionally attired and her face made up, having sparse, flyaway and unstyled hair? AIBU to think that I do not have to style my hair if I don't want to?

I would think you were/or had been, ill. I wouldn’t think anything about your unstyled hair. I wouldn’t think you were unprofessional, I’d think you were recovering from something

If you were elderly I would assume it was pattern baldness as I’ve seen loads of women with that.

You should do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

If I saw a youngish woman with sparse hair, I'd think they probably had alopecia or had perhaps been ill. Actually I was served by a woman in a shop yesterday with hair like that. I didn't think too much about it. I only remembered it because of this thread.

If it were me, I'd probably wear a wig. Mainly because I have a fat face which really needs some hair to frame it, but also because wigs are much more common nowadays and used for fashion reasons. Loads of celebs wear them.

Of course you don’t have to style your hair if your don’t want to. I go through phases where all my had falls out. Looks fucking awful. I just have it shoulder length and left, no style. If you are dressed appropriately to your job role, then your hair is nobody’s business.

Of course you don't. People generally look better when they look comfortable in their own skin.
Men look much better with their hair shaved off and I suspect you may also look better embracing the no hair look. The Sinead O Connor looks fantastic and even with patches it gives the impression that you are in control of your look.
I feel your pain. My hair is coming out in clumps and mine is long. I have never had short hair so it's a real shift in how I perceive myself. Not brave enough yet but I reckon soon I won't have choice....

I'd think you had aloplecia TBH. I know a few people with it. Surely if it's so fine it's difficult to style anyway?

Different people deal with aloplecia in different ways. It's not easy, so you shouldn't be 'judged' for how your hair looks.

My hairdresser mother used to recommend a short cut so that the hair there was wouldn't be pulled down by the weight of the length but would bounce up to make the scalp patches less obvious.

There is also the option of a No 1 if you think you could carry it off or similar with a scarf. There's a woman in my office who I suspect wears a scarf for religious reasons, but her wardrobe of scarves are stunning and always beautifully tied to cover her scalp tightly and frame her face (she only covers her scalp rather than her neck and ears as well).

I think I'd try out some wigs - the quality ones are amazing these days and look totally natural. Girl I used to work with had one due to very thin hair and nobody realised it was a wig - they just kept telling her how lovely her hair looked.

Just for info. I use something like this:

www.amazon.co.uk/FESHFEN-Scrunchies-Extensions-Ponytail-Accessories/dp/B01FQ7BIPM/ref=pd_bxgy_194_img_2?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforum-21&refRID=105PGVWZ10099RC1KZCK

or this

www.amazon.co.uk/PRETTYSHOP-Ponytail-Extension-Looking-Heat-Resisting/dp/B00WZLWRK8/ref=pd_sim_194_1?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforum-21&refRID=5WFXKRR60MR25P3FA772

or one of these

www.amazon.co.uk/Donut-Hairstyler-creator-Bridal-blonde/dp/B011W3V6E2/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=beauty&keywords=hair+covered+bun+ring&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1517774050&sr=1-1

when i get fed up with trying to 'do' something with my stupidly fine hair. 90% of the time i can't actually be arsed but they're handy when i do want to :)

Anyone who hasn't tried them - you might have to fart about a bit choosing the right colour for you ect, and how to get them to look just right but they're pretty good once you've got it down.