Would you be ok with this?

[DusktilDawn]

I'm a single parent to 3 year old dd and have no close friends or family who can help with babysitting. My next door neighbour is lovely and over the past year we've become quite close and see each other almost daily and pop to each other's houses for cups of tea or dinner. Dd knows her well and has formed a nice relationship with her. Neighbour offers to babysit but I always say no - partly because I have anxiety and worry about trust And partly because she isn't family. Am I being silly? Would you let her babysit?

You say your Dd had been to her house on her own to bake. So she has already looked after her for maybe half an hour to an hour.
I would let the neighbour look after her, your 3 year old will soon let you know if she doesn't want to go.

I had friends who looked after mine when they were young and had a really bad experience with a family member, who I actually paid to look after them for a day. Came home early and kids are sat watching tv and she is out in the garden drinking and smoking with her Bf and his friend. Fuming!!!!!!

You’ve become close - how is she not a friend? I’m a bit saddened by your attitude and lack of trust, to be honest. What are you thinking the problem will be?
We often used neighbours to support us in caring for the children. The children have surrogate grandparents (neighbours from over the years) who have been much more supportive and involved than their a teal grandparents.

She is a friend. She's not just a random person who I live next door to, she is a really good friend and we've helped each other through a lot over the past few months. She's a retired school teacher and has been a real positive influence on dd and a grandmother figure. I'm being stupid.

She sounds lovely OP. I wish we had neighbours like that.

You are NOT being stupid.

She sounds fine to me. But listen to what your gut is saying. What do YOU think?

Leaving your anxiety aside, you are the only one who can make this decision x

Maybe try and do it for a few hours one time and ring every hour or get her to ring? And if that goes well then try for longer?

Id personally trust my neighbour to babysit more than I would most members of my family. Blood relation doesnt always mean someone will care for your child well.
If they have a good relationship and youve known her for some time and she seems like a trustworthy person id just give it a go for a short length of time to see if you feel happy with it.

Well I asked dd whether she wanted grandad (not an option) or ndn to look after her and she said ndn. I think that says it all!

A morher’s instinct is a wonderful thing. An anxious person’s is not.

The OP is being very clear: she has no bad feelings about this woman and no reason not to trust her. It is just generalised anxiety.

Sorry yes, my comment rubbishing instinct was aimed at the pps telling her that something bad must be going on account of her being a mother, not at the OP who's feelings she acknowledges are from her anxiety.

I am also a single mum and you need to take the help when offered especially as you know this person for a while, you've been to the house. Take her up on the offer for just an hour or two if you are anxious. It will do you good.