Snoring

[ThisIsNotARealAvo]

I am snorer and I am fully aware that it annoys DH. We have been together 9 years but recently he says it is getting worse and I am stopping him from getting to sleep. I feel bad about this of course. Because I go to bed at about 10 and he comes up about 3 in the morning, he has been coming up, getting into bed, finding I am snoring too loudly and the going to sleep on the sofa bed downstairs. I feel bad about this but I f I slept on the sofa he would not be able to stay up in the living room so late.

We have talked about this in the last few days and I have started a diet in order to lose weight and ordered a nasal device from Amazon. It was uncomfortable at first but last night I slept with it in all night.

Yesterday DH told me that he had recorded my snoring while I was asleep on an app. I am really upset about this because I didn't know he was going to do it. It's not as if I haven't started to take steps to do something about it and I have never tried to say that I don't think the snoring is that bad or anything.

AIBU to feel pissed of about being recorded without my knowledge?

And if anyone has any tips for stopping snoring let me know. I found the strips to be useless and when I tried a mouth guard thing I ended up spitting it out when I was alseep.

My boyfriend snores. He can’t help it, so I use earplugs. Problem solved!

Sounds like your husband is making a right fuss. Recording you isn’t really fair - what was he hoping to achieve?

I think recording partners is often suggested on here where they appear to be in denial about how loud it is and the effect it is having on the other person.

Separate rooms are also often suggested. And yes, weight loss.

But you really do need to get your GP to check you out. Snoring can be associated with a couple of medical issues, eg apnoea. Look after yourself.

Why is he up till 3am?? Does he get up late?

Recording you was a bit unfair since you are trying to take steps to see if you can help the snoring. That was definitely unnecessary. Have you been to the GP at all? They will score you for sleep apnea and can give you nasal or throat sprays to try and help the snoring. My husband gets a nasal spray from the GP and it has really reduced his snoring and improved my sanity!

@swarmofcats

'Her husband is making a right fuss?' Why shouldn't he be? People pile in with support when a woman is being kept awake by a man's snoring! Good for you if earplugs fix your issues! Not everyone is going to be the same.

I don't why he recorded it OP, did you ask him? It was probably just because he wants you to hear how loud it is! I can't see it's that much of a big deal to be honest.

Have you not got a spare room? Many couples have separate rooms now. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, and it's very hard to sleep with someone else, all the time, long term.

We don't have a spare room, we have a sofa bed downstairs as I said in the OP. I am not in denial about how bad it is, I know I snore loudly. Also, if he had said he wanted to record me I would probably have agreed if he really thought it would make a difference.

Hey OP, sorry you’re feeling so rubbish. Snoring really is a big problem in relationships, especially as it’s something so out of the snorers control and why you feel so down about it.

My husband is a big snorer and my previous partner was even bigger so I’ve had approximately 12 years of sleeping next to a big, deep, long snorer. I’m also a light sleeper so it’s completely maddening at times (most of the time).

I think the potential solution depends on where you snore from. www.britishsnoring.co.uk/itests/

Try this and see if this helps any. My husband has recently lost about 2 stone and his snoring is definitely better but it still keeps me up at night. He’s also started taking sudafed which also seems to help.

Back to your AIBU, I can understand why you’d be upset but I’ve recorded DH so many times. He’s never been offended I’ve done it, it’s helped him realise that something has to be done. It can too often just be put to one side but it really does affect the other person’s well being and ability to get on with their day.

Hope you get it sorted soon! Good luck!

I don't think he was unreasonable recording you, I've done the same to my DH so he knows how bad it is. My DH uses the plastic nasal thing too, he also has a spray prescribed from the drs and those together with an extra pillow seem to stop the snoring most of the time. We found that if he lays too flat he snores, almost like his tongue is partially blocking his throat so the extra pillow makes him sleep more upright and seems to stop the snoring. When he's been drinking or has a cold he sleeps elsewhere as nothing will stop the snoring in these scenarios.

Your DH is unreasonable to suggest that you sleep on the sofa when he comes to bed after you, if it bothers him so much he should sleep on the sofa.

I also use silicone earplugs and literally grind them into my ears, I’m surprised they don’t meet in the middle... I can still hear him (and I’m partially deaf in one ear!!) so earplugs aren’t necessarily the solution for everyone.

You ought to see your GP to get a sleep study to find out whats going on. It IS unfair on your husband and for some - a deal breaker if ignored.

Best wishes.

Is it on YouTube yet?

Thanks for your replies. I spoke to DH again about the recording without my knowledge and he has apologised. I don't think he meant it in a horrible way but just did the first thing he thought of. I've ordered a spray and a chin strap to try out, as well as some ear plugs!