Concern about my God daughter and not having support

[OnceAponAMum]

I have a god daughter (aged 9) whose parents split up about 2 years ago. Since then they have early introduced new partners and she’s been part of a second family with her dad with 3 other step sibling children and she’s loved this. They have now split up. As far as I understand no one is talking to her about this other than the split has happened. We aren’t close unfortunately but I really am worried about her. She’s close to My son and he thinks an adult should let her know she has someone to talk to. Any advice? I love her but don’t want to make anything more difficult for anyone. It’s one of my best friends who is her mother and she wants not to mention it and let her talk, if she wants to. I guess it might be difficult for her to say so. AIBU to think someone should talk to her about this?

Tricky one. Aurely as her god mother you are supposed to help guide her along... but then her mother knows her best. Can you get your son to ask her if she would like to talk to a grown up nd see what her reply is?

I would probably try to work on the long game, build up your relationship- e.g. take her shopping for her birthday rather than buy a present etc. It might not be a few years until she opens up about things but bide your time and be a solid support in the background.

When my Ex and I split DD was 8. He has had a torrid Love life since that sadly DD has been caught up in. Her godmother ( a close friend) invaluable through out this time going shopping together, out to lunch, just doing stuff together. Sometimes DD says nothing, sometimes apparently it all pours out. Her godmother never specifically asks, never comments and just listens.

Thank you for the replies. Unfortunately we don't live very close but I've said to my friend before that maybe I could take her out and yes just not push it but be another adult who likes to do nice things with her. Her dad's a controlling, gas lighter who can be very cruel with the things he says and I feel she takes in responsibility for making him 'ok'. I think it's ridiculous that they have both entered new people pretty much the weekend they've met them. I think my friend thinks my comments are making her feel bad and keen not to do that. I've not really said much. X

She doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone and actually saying my son is close, is overstating it. We only see her every few months

I think you are right that I can't do much more than build a slow relationship and hope that it helps overtime x

If she doesn't want to talk then you can't force it especially since you don't seem to be particularly close. I think you'd have to spend time building a relationship with her first. Perhaps she has another adult she can speak to eg aunt, uncle.
You sound very judgemental about their new relationships. I'd be concerned about your strong views impacting the support you can give.

Point taken. I don't want to sound judgmental. I'm glad for them. I'm just worried for her. It must be confusing especially if she is in a family surrounding and then not and no one mentions it x

Maybe you could send her a children's book with a character that has dealt with a similar situation? It could be a prompt for conversation with the people around her or just help her to realise others have shared that experience.