to want to avoid being a Bridezilla!

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Advice needed so I don’t become a Bridezilla!

I have four bridesmaids. Seemed like a good idea at the time but now I’m thinking about dresses and I realise I have four people to please. They are my sister, my friend and my two SILs to be.

Please give me any advice you have regarding dress shopping to avoid fall outs.

You're the bride so its your decision but its good to be flexible if you can

Do you know what colours you want and what style? Probably good if you have an idea of that first

It depends on your "vision". If you want them all to match exactly then you're going to need to decide the dress style and colour. Making a decision isn't the same as being a bridezilla! If you want them to be comfortable for different shapes for example then choose a colour and let them choose a dress in that colour scheme. If you're going to a bridal shop for bm dresses then a lot of them have coordinated ranges so same colour in different lengths or neck or waistlines.

Congratulations on your wedding.. I would say that you decide on a colour and then get different dresses that suit each girls shape in that colour or same style dresses in different shades of the colour to suit girls colouring. My friend did it so all the girls wore bright pink but one had strapless, one had a maxi dress and the other ones had straps. Then she tied them all together with a corsage of flowers that all matched.. hope that makes sense!

Great minds Cautious!

I chose a colour and let everyone choose the dress style they wanted (all run by me first to make sure colours matched)

Ps...sometimes being a bride zila is the only way...people take the piss and you have to put your foot down. Good luck and congratulations x

I did the same as Ghostwriter666 and they ended up deciding they wanted to wear the same style dress (adult BMs).....but I wouldn’t have minded if they were different but the same color.

Hope this helps and congrats on your wedding OP!

I chose a colour and then we all went shopping so they could try on different styles. I was really pleased with the dress we chose - they all looked lovely. I think the choice was made easier by the fact that one of my bridesmaids was a young teen so that ruled out a lot of the cleavage-baring/ slit/ sexier styles. Also just be wary of accessories - I had a winter wedding and said I didn't mind what sort of shawl or cardigan they wore but in retrospect looking at the photos I wish I had bought them all the same thing as it really changed the overall look.

They could choose colours in the same palette brights/pastels and have the flowers as a mix to tie them together

Your choice but I'd set the expectations before you go (like with toddlers)

Right I think we need to decide on either colour or style - I'm thinking long dresses in pink - but you can chose the shape of the dress

Or I'm thinking short strapless dresses in pastels and you can choose the color to suit your colouring.

Then say I'm thinking silver shoes/cream shoes

Give and take!

I chose the colour and took them for lunch and a fitting in a bridal shop so they could choose which style.

The only thing I stressed over was that one wanted to diet/lose weight beforehand and then when she didn't her dress had to be let out 3 days before. Looking back I wish I'd just said "get the dress in that size and if you lose weight we can take it in" - letting a dress out is far more challenging than taking one in!

If you're able to delegate, do it. There were parts of my wedding I couldn't care less about; the flowers my chief bridesmaid chose because she has a great eye for that and shopped around for really lovely stuff. The favours another one did because she's very arty.

I know everyone on here thinks Bridezilla is an insult but there are times to pull rank and times to let go; being firm might earn you a bridezilla title but if it's something that matters to you, stand firm. It's your wedding, so don't feel bad about pleasing yourselves.

I let my bridesmaid pick her own dress and then put a sash of the same colour o the flower girls' dresses

As long as you both turn up, nothing else matters. Just enjoy it!

I didn't want my bridesmaids to be the same. They all have different body shapes so asked them to pick dresses in a certain colour and I would pay.

I'm sure their dresses came from Frasers and were ranged from between £60-£100 each.

All were the same colour.

Great advice!

I know I want grey dresses and I have seen some styles that I have shown them all and they’ve said they like. They are all different sizes and builds which might make it more difficult. I want them in the same dress preferably.

I struggle with the STB SILs most. They have different tastes to me and I struggle to say when I don’t like things they choose.

I am a bridesmaid in June. There's 3 of us.
My sister said she didn't want us in anything puffy, she wanted simple, floor length and dusky pink.
Just pick a few things that are really important to you regarding shape and colour and let the bridesmaids have a look.
We brought ours this week. I found one, my sister (the bride) loved them, and she checked with the other bridesmaids who agreed.
But it was a long process. With about 58 dresses whatsapped to her, then the other bridesmaids. There was lots turned down.
Can't you hand the task off to the maid if honour? My sister is happy and it was one less job for her to worry about.

My sister (my MOH) would find that job horrendous. She is happiest in jeans and a tshirt. I’m least worried about her for shopping though.

Choose colour. If you put them in the same dress the shorter fatter one is going to look awful next to the tall thin one. Seen it, so cringey.

Bridesmaids, not cheer leaders

I struggle to say when I don’t like things they choose

We'll stick phrases
'Oh I like that bit let's look for something simpler'

'Oh good choice, but a lighter colour might work better'

So hot with a positive and love in swiftly

None of them are fat by any means!

One is built like a model, one is shorter but a personal trainer, two are curvy but not fat.

Fatter, not fat. There's probably a PC word for it but that's what it means. Or curvy if you prefer.

The 'curvy' one in my example wasn't huge, but compared to the stick thin one she looked awful .

We all suit different shapes and a uniform doesn't work on everyone.

I’m hoping the style I like will look good on all of them.

Look at twobirds dresses - they're really nice material and the top can be tied in lots of different ways. There's likely other sites that do a similar thing but cheaper

twobirdsbridesmaid.co.uk/collection/classic/

best bridesmaid dresses i ever say was same fabric same colour but different styles to suit each bridesmaid,
one had halterneck, one strapless, one one sholder and one straight straps

I second the two birds suggestion. These are one size so people can put on or lose weight, be pregnant etc without worrying if the dress will fit. No need to go dress shopping. Also given they can be tied in loads of different ways they can flatter most shapes. They can all wear the dress the same way if you like, or can be slightly different. Mine wore it differently but it was obvious it was the same dress, if that makes sense.

Don’t get actual two birds, very pricey. Mine were from Etsy for
£35 per dress, including the bandeau for underneath (likely that any larger or bustier BMs would want these or they can be a bit skimpy on top).

Have a lovely wedding!

I will keep it in mind. We have managed to book a day to go to a shop with all of us so I will see what happens. If we are struggling, I’ll come back to the twobirds style dress.

Thanks all.