To think less presents, more experiences?

[Fianceechickie]

DH and I were talking last night and thinking that we buy the DCs expensive ish presents for birthday and Christmas (not huge,say £150 max for main present) but often find ourselves not taking them to places because we can't afford it. Sure we do plenty of free stuff but things like weekends away, tickets for things we just don't do much as it's so expensive. Eg Harry Potter Tour...£200 for 5! We're a blended family and therefore the kids get double presents and often we're stuck what to buy them and they don't end up using whatever it is that much. Has anyone else decided to do expensive family trips instead of main present? As my DH pointed out, the child who's birthday it was might feel put out the others got to go too (but then so would they for the other child's birthday)

We've always done experiences over presents. We only take the giftee though unless it's a bulk Christmas gift like harry potter studios.

It's a good way to have 1:1 time with your kids, builds memories and they get to experience things they don't normally do - things we've done have been concert tickets, West end shows, spa day etc

I do this. My son has less toys than a lot of kids his age, but I do way more with him. I think kids have too much stuff.

How about a merlin pass each? I think they are £109 in the sale at the moment and they do loads of places!

Thanks it's good to find it works well! We were thinking of Harry Potter for DSD birthday but it's three hour drive from us so would probably need to stay over so not really something to do with just one of us plus DS would also love to go but his birthday not till November! Don't know what to do. DH and DSS not really into it.

I went to Harry Potter for my 23rd we stayed over too as we don’t live close by. I’d highly recommend it. They had a few birthdays there, most were under 16 though.

£150 is loads for a main present. You could get something great for £50 and then have £100 towards days out. If 2 of them are interested in HP and 1 not then that might work well at Christmas and the other child could have something else, or go in the summer and it can be an early present for DS and late present for DSD?

I had to do this because otherwise my children wouldn't have been able to go places.

My youngest started to pick Theatre tickets and train vouchers from other people.

Likewise we would cut down on stuff to go camping most weekends.

I said to hubby we’re going to start buying the kids gift experiences from now on not due to money but the fact they have everything and we don’t know what else to buy them or have room for anything else .
They’ve been to London twice and loved it , football matches , go karting .
So much more fun and memorable . Then they can buy whatever they want ( Xbox games etc ) out of pocket money and birthday / Xmas money .
Even if others aren’t into it all that much I’m sure they still enjoy it ! I went to see a band with partner and his 2 sons that they all loved ( on the day of MY birthday ) I wasn’t keen on the band but still had an amazing time !

I love the idea of experiences. If your willing to do a family experience per child then you could always make them a fancy voucher that lets them choose a family day out. Then each of them get a present and to choose what you do but they know the whole family is coming with them.

I always do this, though I do only have 2 children. Gifts for either Christmas or birthdays always include days out. These have included:

Merlin pass
Theatre tickets
Feed the meerkats at a zoo
Indoor ski slopes
Indoor parachute jump type thing
Hand feeding birds at wildlife place
Go ape
Driving lesson (for over 12's)

We much prefer these than spending money on crap.

We do that here too. Took my son last month to Harry Potter for his birthday instead of buying him presents we have no space for. It was brilliant.

My parents do that for their grandchildren. Satisfies their need to spend £££ and the parents' need for their house not to be overflowing with stuff. Win/win.

Another who’s parents tend to buy experiences for DS.

Particular favourites have been:

WWE live tickets
Merlin pass
Zoo yearly membership
Zookeeper for a day
Panto tickets

We value the memories a lot more than some plastic tat that’d be headed for the charity shop in 2 years.

I would personally cut back on birthday presents so no main present but things like cinema vouchers maybe nandos voucher for teenagers then bulk out with this n that at christmas Dds have regularly got joint experience presents the last present was for harry potter it was great. I think children appreciate time as well as stuff .

People who study happiness (lucky bastards) are very clear that experiences make us happy long term and presents don't. Now, I do think that Christmas and birthdays ARE experiences but massive presents are a waste of money.

Thank you for so many helpful responses! Has definitely helped me make up my mind!

I literally just said this to my 2 dc 12 and 9 for birthdays and Christmas would they prefer to do stuff.

Ds1 I want to take to see Matilda in London for his birthday. Matilda is his favourite movie.. completely random but there you go

Ds2 would like consent tickets ir minecon

Deff advise on getting Merlin passes. Exoensive outlay but they pay for their self's once youv used them twice and they are open to 100s of things

Yes. We decided this at Christmas. Give smaller presents than we did the previous year and put the rest towards the holiday fund. It's shocking when you add up how much the various e.g. Lego sets cost.

We take DD lots of places, especially to the theatre and we are careful on spending on 'stuff'

One of her friends mums spends a fortune on her DD - including a new phone the last 2 xmas (she's 8 by the way) and iPads etc. And then complains they have no money to go places. To me it's madness

We went on holiday for my eldest 21st birthday it was her choice and we had a great time . D2 wants to do a theatre break for hers next year

My vote is always experiences over presents. For her last birthday we took DD to a theme park and I bought her a new outfit to wear for our trip so she had something to open. Nothing major, just some new leggings, top and trainers from H&M. This year she wants to go to the coast and we all need a break so we’ll probably make a long weekend out of it.

Yep. Theatre tickets for birthdays are always a hit here.

We do this to an extent. Dp's dad sends a cheque for all birthdays and Christmas ect at Christmat time. For the past couple of years we have used it for a membership to our local zoo. We get so much out of that, far more than any of us would get out of 'stuff' we could buy.

I think it's a great idea. An experience will stay with them while a toy among many others will be long forgotten in a couple of years.

Yes. We have started doing this. Especially as my daughter's birthday is early January and I dread finding places to put presents from her birthday and Christmas.