No RSVPing to a party

[itsaninvitationnotasummons]

Namechanged for my first ever AIBU post.

My understanding of RSVP is that the invited person responds to say:

a) yes please, I'd love to come
or
b) no thanks, I'm busy/can't be arsed.

I threw a small party for my DS recently and was pissed off that three sets of parents had not bothered to respond. These children didn't attend but I couldn't be sure that they wouldn't as I had no response. My DP thinks that maybe people only RSVP when it's a 'yes'.

AIBU to be pissed off with parents who do not rsvp to a party invitation?

No you absolutely aren't BU. It boils my piss. So rude.

I personally always reply saying thanks for invitation and yes or no. But, yes sadly I'm in minority. I've had lots of big parties for my boys and it is normal for the "no" people just to not respond. Not acceptable, mind, IMO, just normal.

Tbh I think a bigger issue is the times when people don't reply but come anyway. That happens a lot as well! Always have at least 5 party bags spare.

YANBU - I have had the same problem and it is rude. I have also had people who did not rsvp for my DD's party but still brought their child along. Luckily there was a last minute cancellation or I wouldn't have been able to feed them!

THe worst is saying you’ll come then not turning up. Esp if you’ve paid per person.

JustDance god yes that absolutely takes the cake. So so rude!
I've only ever done one party like that and fortunately the bro of one boy who my youngest is friends with stepped in at the no show, so didn't go to waste.

Doesn’t just happen with children, very hard to arrange parties for special adult parties when people can’t be arsed to respond to invites/are in a sulk because their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren haven’t been included!

How old is your DS? I have found party invitations in my sons drawer at school weeks after the event. Or inside his reading diary or homework book. It's rude if they have definitely received the invitation though.

I even think no shows (ie when you've replied yes) are rude if it's just a big party in a church hall, tbh.

I also think turning up late (ie more than half an hour) is rude as well. Sometimes can't be helped, and I guess it doesn't matter in grand scheme but it does annoy me. It's only 2 hours and you've only made 45 mins of it, thanks for blessing us with your company.

Georgie that's true. I've asked people in playground and they'd not seen it. Now I tend to stick the invitation in the parents hand wherever possible.

If it's an activity I set up a whatsapp group, as usually people can coordinate pick ups/drop offs better that way

Yes I was going to say they may not have had the invite. I've had several occasions where someone has messaged me about a missing rsvp and I had no idea at all about the party. It's why I made dd2 invite some dc of people I actually know to hers so then at least I can chase the responses !

To answer a PP DS is 7. Good points regarding the creation of a whatsapp group and Parents not receiving invitation.

I always add my mobile number for a text response. How hard is it send a text?

I feel validated at being pissed off. Thanks Mumsnet!

I'm in the same boat right now. Ds handed out invites 3 weeks ago and not one person out of a class of 20 has responded. I don't get to do drop off and pick up so I never see parents.

I happened to meet one Mum and asked if my ds had passed the invite to her ds and she said yes he'll be going followed by sorry I forgot I was supposed to text you! She wasn't being horrible, I think she just genuinely forgot.

I do worry though that the party will consist of just ds, one boy from class and a few kids from outside school including my niece. Ds would be so upset if nobody else from school came, he's only 5 (turning 6) and doesn't quite get it. He has said that everyone is coming and has talked to friends. My worry is that the kids are all saying yes we're coming but not actually telling their parents or giving them the invite! Hoping the parents have just forgotten to text!