To not know how to make high school dc make friends??

[stellenbosch]

Dc (15) really struggling. Don't know how to help. Don't know high school parents... wtf do I do to help??

Hi OP, didn't want to read and run. I'd say just by building their confidence outside of school and them meeting people their own age other places like sports, drama clubs etc. some of whom may well be class/year mates too.

:-(

At 15 parents don't have much to do with each other. What is your dc like and what do they Like?

Does she belong to any clubs outside/inside of school?

What has happened before ?
Have they moved schools ?
Have they fallen out with people? / Removed themselves from social life? / Never had friends?
What do they do outside of school ?

Throw a large and cool 16th Birthday party x

You can't make people make friends. I was always quiet at school-got on with most people but never really made friends as such. Does your DC want friends, or do you just think they should?

Is your DC as concerned as you? I have a DS who is 19 and he spent the whole of high school with no close friends. I bothered me a lot. It didnt bother him at all. He likes his own company and is happy to do group things where he is friendly and liked. But he doesnt socialise much. If your DC is unhappy then yes address it but if they are fine with it then leave well alone.

I was always quiet and had no friends at school, just hung about at play time, until one day when I was around the same age as your dd, a girl (who was also quiet) was brave, took a chance and asked me if I wanted to go ice skating. That’s all it took, skating was popular back then and we met other people there who became friends until there was a huge group of us going twice a week. Grew up together went to discos, on holidays etc.

Your dd needs to be brave and find someone in the same boat as her. At 15 you can’t do this for her.

What I would have loved, at that age, would have been for someone (my mum perhaps) to tell me that it’s okay to not want/ need lots of friends, to be centre of the crowd etc. It wasn’t until well into my twenties that I realised it was okay to be ‘quiet’ and not always surrounded by people.

However, I was brave enough at 15 to ring a girl I thought was nice at school to come and see our new kitten. We’ve been best friends ever since and my life is totally the richer for that phone call.

Where I live, I see groups of teens walking their dogs together after school. (By groups I mean 2 or3)

Has your dc recently moved to this school op, or has s/he been there since age 11? If it's a new school, it may be partly a question of time - you could try speaking to the Head of Year to see if they can help by making sure she's introduced to some like-minded dc?

If dc's been there for a few years (I'm guessing it's Yr 10 or 11) then the problem may be a different one. Does dc belong to any school clubs or take part in school extra-curricular stuff like charity fund-raising? That could be a way of meeting new dc. Out of school activities are good as well, to provide an alternative source of social activity - which can sometimes make it easier to make friends at school as well.