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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people are so petty and rude

23 replies

Introvertpants · 02/02/2018 14:26

Having a rant here but also wondering why there are so many rude, entitled people out there who care far too much about the small stuff.
I'm a postie and I was delivering mail as I do and this woman shouts postie! She comes across the street in a hair towel shouting at me that I have delivered her the wrong mail, it's for 44 not 4. I apologised but then i looked at the letter and it was for no.4 but the other number was covered by the envelope so to anyone it looked like 4 unless you opened it. I explained this to her and she shouted at me again and told me to shake the mail before putting in her door and told me she was writing to my employers.
As it turns out it was for no. 14 but I had to rip part of the envelope to find that out. Which proves even she couldn't see the other number.
I felt angry that I had to just stand and be spoken to like that in the middle of the street. I didn't retaliate because no doubt she would complain.
I just couldn't imagine myself getting worked up about things like this to the point of shouting at someone. I would just politely tell the postie that the mail isn't for this address.
It's the same in retail. People act like the world revolves around them.
Aibu to think this nation cares way too much about the little things? I do get that people have bad days and pent up emotions but I don't think it's any excuse to be so nasty.

OP posts:

WTFIsThisVirus · 02/02/2018 14:28

Yeah, she was being a c&£t

Bluntness100 · 02/02/2018 14:31

I'm surprised you're surprised. Spend any time on here and you'll see there are plenty of petty rude people.

However on saying that, if you deliver it wrong often, and you probably wouldn't know if not told, it really is quite irritating. Maybe she'd just had it happen one too many times.

Original poster

Introvertpants · 02/02/2018 14:33

It's not my normal round so there is a chance someone else has done it too often but in this case to any Tom dick or Harry it looked like a 4 without any doubt. She only knew because the name was different to hers. I don't see how she can shout st me for that.

OP posts:

amusedbush · 02/02/2018 14:34

DH is a postman and is spoken to like shit on a regular basis. I feel for you.

Taffeta · 02/02/2018 14:37

Peoples sense of entitlement these days is hideous

I’m regularly appalled at the waiting and shop staff are spoken to by dickish members of the public

Like they’re not people with feelings that deserve respect

Taffeta · 02/02/2018 14:38

...appalled at the way....

SwarmOfCats · 02/02/2018 14:39

My neighbour is like this (she’s very old, but that’s no excuse). Accosts the postman, gives the bin men a piece of her mind every couple of weeks, tells me off for not opening the door when she “knows I’m in” (in the bath/busy/not in the house but my car is outside aren’t good enough reasons).

Cantankerous old bag. She’s entertaining at least.

Sorry you got shouted at though OP, you didn’t deserve that!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 02/02/2018 14:40

She certainly overreacted. She sounds very stressed. Hopefully she would have gone in and contemplated about her actions and won't complain.

TroysMammy · 02/02/2018 14:40

Try being a GP's receptionist.

Original poster

Introvertpants · 02/02/2018 14:40

I remember a while ago someone whistled as if whistling to a dog and it was me she wanted. She just wanted to give me stuff that was the previous occupantels but I felt like dirt of her shoe responding to her. I was raging the rest of the day.
She done the same thing to my colleague and he said I'm not a dog don't whistle at me and she put a complaint in that he was rude and nasty to her. Unbelievable.

OP posts:

Original poster

Introvertpants · 02/02/2018 14:42

Troysmammy I can imagine the level of abuse you get daily. I've saw it myself at the reception. You need a thick skin for that job.

OP posts:

ThePinkOcelot · 02/02/2018 14:58

I think some people just get off on being rude and nasty. Arse holes!!

LifeBeginsAtGin · 02/02/2018 15:03

spit on her post tomorrow...or worse

ChelleDawg2020 · 02/02/2018 15:11

People get tired of being screwed over, so they lash out - usually at someone other than the person who has upset them.

We live in a society that rewards bullshitters, promotes backstabbers and punishes the honest. It's not surprising that from time to time "good" people get sick of being screwed over, and decide to be a cunt themselves.

Also there is the therapy angle - in CBT I was told to push outside of my comfort zone to stop being a doormat. Pushing the boundaries of what I considered possible means stepping into unknown territory, a place where I am more likely to come across as a cunt than when in my natural, submissive position.

PS it's fucking annoying when your post-person can't tell the difference between your house and the one next door, between your street and one a mile away, the names of which have no letters in common apart from those used in the word "road". Once or twice, fine, but weekly is unacceptable.

BrazzleDazzleDay · 02/02/2018 15:15

She was a twat. I love my posties. Round here if a letter goes in the wrong door, we pass it on to the right house. My postie knows i regularly do my back in so just rings the bell and puts the parcel in the hall, hes a keeper

NameChangedAndForgotOldName · 02/02/2018 15:24

I got mail for a different house on my street the other day so I did what most normal people would do and posted it through on my way past, no need to make a fuss

Mrsdraper1 · 02/02/2018 15:40

I used to work in a town hall dealing with housing benefit and council tax. I feel your pain.
I've been called all sorts, threatened, sworn at, complained about.
I also had to deal with complaints so had to listen while people told me all about it. Some people, yes fair point we had messed up so apologised, rectified the error. I often had to contact other departments and make them sort it out properly and I would do that. Other people, just no idea what they expect really- apart from the moon, the stars and for me to move heaven and earth. And no thank you when you had helped them.
Arseholes

MadRainbow · 02/02/2018 15:59

Sadly any job working with the public can result in this sort of behaviour. I found this working in a fast food job; just because of where you work people think you don't have a brain cell between you.

My Mum's lodger was a nurse for years and the stories she can tell you about the abuse she suffered are unfathomable. She got it from everyone, patients, their families and the doctors...

It seems more that our entire society has no time for courtesy anymore. I get annoyed because my Royal Mail postie never delivers my parcels to my door; she always gets us to come down the 3 flights of stairs to collect them, despite the fact that I am often alone in charge of my 4 year old and am currently 7 months pregnant. Every other delivery person manages it except her, but if I were to stop and think about her for a min, she might have a bad back/legs/knees, she might get penalised for the time it might cut into her route - I'm sure there are other reasons.

If it's a one off chalk it up to a bad day - everyone has them otherwise AIBU wouldn't exist. Sorry you were spoken to like that though

Original poster

Introvertpants · 02/02/2018 16:16

People treat posties like they are mystic meg. It amazes me how snooty people get about us delivering mail that is for an ex tenant or who ever. We don't know the last names of everyone who stays in every house when we have 7 or 8 streets to deliver. I still get mail for the previous owner but I shove it in the bin if it's crap or I write rts and shove it in nearest post box when ever I get a chance if it looks important. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

I know people can be stressed or have a lot on in their lives but they don't think about the person who is working on the front line. I'm sure they have their own problems in life and have a lot going on too. People are so selfish.
Actually I always find American people far nicer and a lot easier to talk to. I don't know if it's a particularly British thing to have a stick up your ass. I'm British and think so.

OP posts:

jimijack · 02/02/2018 16:16

I was shouted at at work the other day because I was chatting to our cleaning lady, I asked her what time she finished because she looked tired today, she is late 60`s works really hard, said she had been on since 6am, it was nearly 7pm by then. She seemed agitated because she was being moved to another department to clean, so wasn't going home any time soon.
I felt really really bad for her. Offered to make her a cuppa before she went, that was it...

She came to me in the staff room, a week later, in front of about 5 colleagues and said I should not ask her questions, she doesn't me any questions, I really upset her by asking what time she was due to go home and I should not ask her again....
I was gobsmacked, just dumbfounded, I was sympathetic, thought I was being kind, and She went mental.

I've bought her some chocolates to say sorry for upsetting her, and won't speak to her again, see if she accepts them tomorrow.
Nowt as funny as folk I spose.

HildaZelda · 02/02/2018 16:26

One of the trainers at my local gym is 'odd' to say the least. She doesn't actually speak to me for no reason other than she seems to hate all other women. She's due a baby at the moment and one of my (male) gym friends met her on reception when he came in the other day and said "Oh congratulations, I believe you've a baby on the way". She complained him to the gym manager and apparently he's been written up in 'the book'???

I wouldn't mind, but the man in question is a complete gentleman. There are some guys there who could come out with anything (it's a very male dominated gym. I don't care. I'mm well able to give as good as I get) but this guy is always polite to everyone. He was just trying to be nice to her and make conversation.
She's a CF at the best of times mind.

CurcubitaPepo · 02/02/2018 18:11

DHs BF is a postie. He had to deliver a parcel to a house one day. He must have been anticipating trouble as he recorded himself on his phone approaching the house, noting verbally as he did so that the householders car wasn’t outside. Knocked. No answer. Left card. Video evidence of the lot.

Complaint to the office later that day by the householder, why didn’t he knock?

Evidence produced to manager. Manager comducts review of complaint and concludes customer is lying. Customer told that he is lying.

Postie refuses to deliver to the house for the rest of the week. Can’t say I blame him.

Thistlebelle · 02/02/2018 20:43

I used to have a neighbour whose address was very, very similar to ours.

Anytime we got the wrong mail for her we quietly popped it through her letterbox, anytime she got mail for us she used to come to the door and scream at us.

Goodness knows what she said to the poor postie.

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