Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Changing your mind about bridesmaids

5 replies

Redtartanshoes · 02/02/2018 10:59

Sis is getting married in June. Engaged early last year, venue booked autumn, was asked to be bridesmaid along with cousin of groom and a best mate. All 3 of us and her live in different countries.

She lives in a different country so we don’t see much of each other.. have asked a couple of times about plans etc.. she is totally into somethings... like picking the songs for disco and finding a caterer that can meet her sashimi requirements 😉 but very relaxed (read not interested) in others... such as bridesmaid stuff. For example.

Speaking to Mum this morning, and apparently she’s thinking of changing her mind and not having bridesmaids as “she can’t be bothered with the hassle” of sorting dresses and having to get our hair and make up done apparently Hmm

Now I’m really not that arsed, but AIBU to think it’s a bit shit to ask folk, change your mind for shit reasons and then not actually bother tell us? Tbf she’s got form for this sort of stunt, you’d think she was w teenager.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 02/02/2018 11:23

Yes, that's a shitty thing to do to people. It's not acceptable to hand out an honour like that and then take it away for no other reason than you CBA. What does your mum say?

honeyroar · 02/02/2018 11:28

I can see where she's coming from - if you all live in different countries it will be hard work, and bridesmaids add a lot of expense onto the wedding (few hundred when you factor in hair, dresses and make up). I didn't have any. But she should have rung you and discussed it with you in a "would you mind awfully if we didn't" kind of way. Your mum shouldn't have said anything, she should have told your sister to do the polite thing. Your sister should have thought more about it before asking!

LemonShark · 02/02/2018 11:29

She's considering not having them, she hasn't made a decision yet so she's right not to tell you all bridesmaid duties are off.

If you need to know asap to organise travel etc I'd just message and ask her if she is still having bridesmaids and if there are any plans you need to be aware of in order to prepare.

Redtartanshoes · 02/02/2018 12:36

My mum is up the wall and down the other side with the whole wedding if I’m honest. She’s helped loads financially but sus is kinda snubbing her I think.

I know what you were saying about distance, her original plan had been to pick a dress from coast/whenever and have them sent to us, as we are all standard sizes. Money isn’t really an issue, I just honestly think she can’t be arsed.

To be honest I’m happy to sort myself out, wear what I like, just a bit 🙄 at her for pulling this one, and not actually speaking to me.

OP posts:
Redtartanshoes · 02/02/2018 12:38

She’s getting married in the country she lives (totally fine) but it’s gonna cost me a bloody fortune for flights and hotels, and isn’t really a place that can be made into a holiday iykwim

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page