To feel like I’ve failed

[Housequeen101]

Feeling very emotional during tonight’s night feed. My daughter had to had light therapy and since then breast feeding has gone out the window, I was expressing but my milks running out, she’s 2 weeks old and just now I’ve only pumped nearly 2 oz. I’ve had to give her formula and I feel like I’ve failed her. I’ve tried all today to try and increase milk by taking it easy, drinking loads and eating well but it seems it’s too late. I feel terrible 😭

Don’t feel terrible! Your beautiful baby will be healthy and will thrive no matter how she is fed the most important thing to increase your milk supply is to just keep putting baby to the breast, or if she doesn’t latch could you try power pumping? The kellymom website explains it great, but it’s basically pumping for 10 minutes, then 10 minute break, then repeat. It is nowhere near too late, with the right support! Is there s breastfeeding cafe or group nearby you can make it to?

Awww...not your fault at all. Esoecially if she gad therapy. Was she tongue tied. Breast feeding is very tough anyway and not the only way to feed your baby no matter what the bf mafia say.

You have done your best which is all anyone can do. I think even trying to breast feed is good going after all the punishment pregnancy and birth give our bodies. Be kind to yourself as you would a friend. I do know the feeling as had to give up breastfeeding my number 3 child and had all those irrational thoughts. Hormones and tiredness will play their part too. Try and get some rest if you can, you’ll still be recovering from the birth. When your child is a teenager and eating and drinking crap you’ll laugh about how much you worried about this. Fed is best.

Sorry for typos...can health visitor or midwife help?

It is so very hard. I have been there but things will get easier. You are feeding your child and keeping her safe. That’s not failing.

2 oz is plenty! My son is 6 months and when i go out i leave him 3 oz. Honestly 2oz is loads for a 2 week old. You've not failed honey honey. Just probably seen formula adverts with small babies gulping massive bottles....are you doing paced feeding? Are you waking baby to feed?

Don't feel bad at all. Breastfeeding is great but is isn't the be all and end all. Can she latch at all? If she can, keep putting her to the breast. I have a good supply for my baby but it is pathetic when I express. I barely cover the bottom of the bottle. If you want to increase your expressing supply, give it time. It takes your body time to adjust to the new demand.
Most importantly, you made a person and brought them into the world. Focus on how awesome you are instead of beating yourself up over things you can't control xxx

Two weeks is still very early in building up your milk supply. I had to start topping up with formula at two weeks as my daughter was losing weight and having very painful latch issues so now I express 4 times a day which is just enough for 3 or 4 of her feeds. I found that having porrige and oat milk helped boost my supply and also having a day or two where I pump Every couple of hours helps too. I read somewhere that it takes 24hrs for your body to adjust to your babies needs. Bf is hormone related and the worst thing you can do ( I was in a right state over it all!) is stress so get yourself comfy, hot drink, nice snack and relax oh and if you are able to hold/look your baby that really helps too. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby.

It's not too late at all! I ended up pumping for 2 months before my baby learned how to latch. 2oz at 12 weeks is loads! In the beginning I was lucky to get 10-20ml.

My baby was almost completely FF at first, ended up being EBF. If it's something you want to do don't give up - there is hope!

Many congratulations on your new baby

As others have said 2oz is plenty and if you can express that quantity you have a) not run out of milk b) failed at breastfeeding.

Assuming you still want to breastfeed, aim to empty your breasts 8 -12 times in 24 hours. This may be with your child latching on comfortably and seen / heard drinking whilst feeding from the breast or could be 10 mins with a breast pump. Brilliant!!!!

If however latching is tricky, use your pump as much as you can and have a duvet day (minimise visitors for the day) and see if you build upon your existing milk supply. Get some good nipple shields (check out reviews online) as these can bridge nipple / teat confusion.

If you have a breastfeeding support group, go and get some support. Its for mums just like you that they exist and although you have used formula, they won't judge you they will help you to get to where you want to be.

Good luck

Hi all. Thanks for your replies ❤️ You’ve made me feel better.

She isn’t tongue tied, thankfully. I’m trying To express every two hours but with a 3 year old aswell, it’s not always easy. I really want to breast feed or atleast all her bottles be breast milk, I can’t help but feel shitty about it. I know the most important thing is that she’s fed etc erghhhh bloody hormones 😭

I'm a bit confused why are you expressing? Now she's back with you can you not offer her a feed every couple of hours? Your supply will build back up?

She won’t feed from my breast. She gets so distressed she can’t breath. Am I right in thinking my supply won’t increase with expressing only with babybfeeding from me?

You can increase supply with just expressing, you have to be consistent with the timings and keep up your fluids. Also consider eating more foods like oats which are great for milk production (great excuse for flapjacks!)

Oh and my first dd ended up in nicu and wasn’t fed anything other than a glucose drip for her first 10 days.

I felt like a complete failure, my main job was to feed and care for her, she came out damaged and I couldn’t feed her. I later realised none of it was my fault. And she did breast feed, I mixed fed at first and then moved towards exclusive breastfeeding, but decided to stick with 1 bottle a day as it meant life was calmer for both of us if I suddenly wasn’t able to do a feed for whatever reason.

You are giving everything you have, well done, you responded to you baby’s need for more, you listened and gave what was needed. You put your baby first, perfect textbook parenting.

poor you, keep expressing if you want to, she's had 2 weeks of breast milk which is fab!!!!

Do not exhaust yourself thinking that ff isn't "good enough" or "failing"

Just a thought but have you tried giving her half of her expressed feed and then putting her on the breast so she is not quite so desperate and distressed.The hard bit s that you have to be relaxed too.

Oh lovely, I feel for you.
Keep trying. My first son would fuss at the breast, then I got some nipple shields and he seemed to prefer that for the first few weeks. The super thin ones I'm so sorry ago I don't remember the brand.

I switched between breast and formula for first few weeks then when I got into the hang of it I dropped the formula and he was fine.

I did however also have an amazing lactation consultant. If you're near South London I can DM details.

I managed to express every feed from 3-19 weeks so it is possible to build up your milk this way. I set an alarm and expressed every 4hours, in the end I could expressed 9-12oz in one sitting. I found barley water helped. Not sure if just an old wives tale and it’s the increased fluids that did the trick. Second time round and similar feeding issues and I put my DS straight on to formula. I didnt have the time to commit to a rigid expressing routine with 2 little ones, plus expressing through the night when my babies are sleeping just seemed daft. DS has thrived in the same way as his sister and we are equally bonded. Don’t beat yourself what ever happens, just keep loving your baby and they’ll be happy. Good luck!!xx