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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work conference

31 replies

thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 15:30

Without giving too much away the business I work for has an annual conference each year. I have never been, no other staff member has ever been either but I am now the longest serving member - 9 years. We are a small franchise - 3 part time staff.

The boss asks me every year to go and I have always made excuses.

This year she has said she will pay the conference fee (several hundred pounds) and a nights accommodation in the hotel.

The conference takes place over a weekend and is a 4 hour drive each way.

We are all expected to be there for 9:30am on Saturday and pay our own cost of travel. If we want to stay on Friday night (Friday is my day off too) we are expected to pay £132 for the nights accommodation but can get a lift with the boss. It is also a black tie do, so I may need to buy an outfit. We will not be given any time off in lieu.

The business I work for is a franchise and a small business.

What's reasonable here?

OP posts:
UpstartCrow · 01/02/2018 15:33

If the business wants you to go they have to pay all the costs and cover your childcare.

Dljlr · 01/02/2018 15:34

If they want you to attend then they should pay for it. If they can't afford that or won't then your attendance can't be that essential and you'll need to say no. If they want an explanation then simply say that you can't afford it.

I have to go to conferences throughout the year and one specific massive one over 5 days in the summer, which I never enjoy. My employer pays for travel and accommodation as well as the actual conference, but I'd be delighted if they didn't cos then I could reasonably tell them to stick it!

HollyBayTree · 01/02/2018 15:34

Whats reasonable? A migraine Grin

Seriously, you dont pay for a thing that is work related. Travel should be laid on, as should a hotel room and meals.

Friday night however is your choice - if you feel you need to be in that city over night - book a travel lodge for 30 quid. I certainly wouldnt be forking out 132 quid.

Frankly with all the faffing, travel and buying of outfits, I wouldnt be going.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 01/02/2018 15:34

Depends on your contact, but for my place, necessary travel and accommodation costs would be covered and you'd get time off in lieu. Any "extra" nights you choose to stay beyond what's necessary would be at your own cost, as would an outfit for the event. If it's going to cost you too much to attend, just tell your boss no, and the reason why.

DingDongDenny · 01/02/2018 15:35

You are supporting the business, so I would expect all travel and accommodation expenses - some TOIL. I wouldn't expect money for clothes

Cath2907 · 01/02/2018 15:36

They should pay conference fee, at least 1 night's hotel although if it is 4hrs away and you need to be there by 9:30am I'd argue 2 nights, all your food expenses, petrol or mileage on the car and give you a day off in lieu. Otherwise I'd not go! This is from someone who travels plenty with work!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/02/2018 16:58

We've always had conferences wherever I've worked. Usually once a year; and most people go. They aren't optional.

Most people give up at least one weekend day for it; and buy black tie clothes. Food, accommodation for the night of the conference and fuel is paid for. The night before would be at your own cost.

If you've got out of it for 9 years, you've done well!

Tipsntoes · 01/02/2018 17:02

It depends on the kind of working life you have. I'd go, I'd probably look forward to as it could be an interesting opportunity to meet others in our field. I'd consider it an investment for my career.

I'd expect the company to cover all the travel and accommodation costs, but not the Friday night if I don't need to be there. I wouldn't expect them to pay childcare or for for my dress, I would expect he payback to be a bit of flexibility when I need to go to sport's day etc.

Original poster
thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 18:41

Thanks for the replies.

I don't feel she should buy me an outfit.

But I do feel that if she's asking us to go she should pay for us. Particularly if we won't get time off and I'm giving up my day off and my weekend. I never make unimportant appointments in work time so there's no pay back in that way, I always just juggle my days off round so that if I want to take time out for sports day, I'll make up the time on my day off.

I also feel it's unfair to expect us to drive for 4 hours meaning I'd need to be up at 4am, drive for 4 hours and stay up til the small hours that night for the dinner.

And to top it all, she hasn't told me how much it all is. She's told my colleague. The room alone is £135 and £40 for dinner on the Friday.

OP posts:
Polarbearflavour · 01/02/2018 18:44

Can’t you say you can’t afford it? You can’t get into debt for it, that’s mad. They can hardly tell you to spend money you don’t have...

Original poster
thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 18:49

To be honest, I can afford it but I'd rather spend £200 on something I'd like to do.

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 01/02/2018 18:52

If I attended this with my work (medium sized charity) I would get travel and accommodation paid for on expenses. Also time off in lieu for travelling, each day of the conference plus 4 hours for each overnight stay. All meals would also be paid for (or claimed on expenses).

No childcare would be paid for.

I wouldn’t do it for free and certainly not if it was going to cost me!

Polarbearflavour · 01/02/2018 18:53

Lie and say you can’t afford it. That’s what I would do.

Invisimamma · 01/02/2018 18:53

Oh and the formal evening dinners are always optional for us - I skip them in favour of a swim and room service! So no need for extra expense on clothes.

Original poster
thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 19:07

I've always made excuses. Sometimes I've said I had other things on and sometimes I've told her I can't afford it. You would think that maybe she'd take the hint!

We are a new team this year and she merrily announced that the others are going and would I like to go this year. I assumed this meant she was paying for it. (I shouldn't have assumed, I know).

My colleague is actually her friend but has always worked for government and she is stunned at being expected to fund it.

OP posts:
DonttouchthatLarry · 01/02/2018 19:08

Find yourself cheap accommodation on the Friday night and get a cheap meal - no need to pay for the hotel and dinner she's told your colleague about. And ebay for a dress - I just got a lovely sparkly Monsoon evening dress for £17.50 on there. That's if you want to go - otherwise refuse. If they want you there they can pay for it all.

Glumglowworm · 01/02/2018 19:12

If they want you to go they need to pay for your travel and accommodation costs.

My (large) employer semi-regularly sends people from our regional office to London for a jolly to an industry awards party, people volunteer to go and it’s a party, it’s not work. The company pays travel and accommodation and it’s all booked centrally. I’m not sure if there’s a food allowance as well or not. But there’s usually dinner and a free bar at the event anyway.

altiara · 01/02/2018 19:13

If you want to go, it would be reasonable to have travel expenses, 2 nights in the hotel plus meals paid for. I’d also expect a day off in lieu for working on non-working days.
Is it possible to say you just don’t want to go?

Bluelady · 01/02/2018 19:15

Say you can only afford to go if they cover all the costs. It's a piss take otherwise.

Original poster
thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 19:16

I would like to go but not so much that I'm happy to pay for it.

I'd rather not go if I have to pay especially if I have to give up my time for nothing too.

OP posts:
Original poster
thepurplehen · 01/02/2018 19:18

I keep thinking she's running a small business and not a large company but ultimately if she can't afford it, she shouldn't assume we can.

Yes, she's paying for half of it, but all of it can be reclaimed by her as a business expense can't it? We can't claim tax relief on it.

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 01/02/2018 19:18

I suggest you continue to make excuses. After all, a black tie do could be seen to be the kind of event that has quite rightly been criticised in recent weeks, and you could legitimately fear unwanted attention if you went.

FluffyWuffy100 · 01/02/2018 19:21

If the business wants you to go they pay all travel and hotel expenses, including hotel the night before if the conference is a distance away (my co has a 2h limit on accommodation the night before)

I wouldn't make an excuse - be honest and say you see this as a work event and as such can't attend unless travel and accommodation is paid for (inc night before).

Unless you think it will actually be a really good networking opportunity and might spring board your career in which case go and pay.

limon · 01/02/2018 19:23

The company should pay all out of pocket expenses and all additional hours worked including travel time.

Scribblegirl · 01/02/2018 19:23

At my work (big law firm) the following would be covered for sure:

  • conference fee
  • accommodation on the Saturday
  • all travel
  • all food and drink when there
  • any other costs e.g. Wifi in room if needed for work emails

Definitely not included:

  • childcare
  • outfit

Business case would be needed for:

  • staying the night before - you'd need to take a case to manager i.e. 'I won't be able to work effectively if I'm up at 4 that day', I'd probably be declined
  • Overtime or TOIL would depend on how senior you were and whether you regularly get it if you work after hours.

We are generally required to go to this stuff if asked though.

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