Did I behave badly?

[HelloDriversandPedestrians]

Long story short, I met a guy on a dating site and we got on well/there was flirtation but decided after first date we were a bit different and maybe not suited to being a couple. We exchanged a couple of messages and then he messaged asking if I wanted to go for a drink. My life is falling apart a bit atm so I took like a week to reply, apologised and said “sorry it has been the worst week ever... but sounds great, I’m back next week so let me know where’s good”. Given it is a friends dynamic, I don’t want to push it obviously but equally don’t want to lose someone who could be a friend given a stupid oversight like taking a while to reply! Was I in the wrong? And should I just leave it?

No just stop overthinking it.

Thanks. I don’t like him just quite an anxious person which I try to hide! It’s been just under a week now and nothing from him - totally justified but just a bit depressed I could have prevented this I guess

He most likely wanted sex. Don't sweat it.

I actually really don’t think he did! He was very respectful and don’t think he is like that.

Do you want a new male friend?

I don't understand this. I want to date to meet a partner, not a friend; got loads of them already. I tend to think in a lot of these situations, one person is hoping that the other might change their mind and develop feelings for them over time. If that's definitely not what you're looking for then move on

Nah not really, I just met someone I got on with and thought let’s keep it that way without the pressure of dating and having a boyfriend and all that. I’m not really in a place to meet anyone right now anyway, there’s a lot going on

He'll message you back sooner or later. Dating sites are not for making friends though.

You are waaaaay overthinking this. Seriously. Stop.

You're not in the right place to meet anyone. Why are you on a dating site then? Isn't that pissing guys around?

OP get a grip sweetie he has moved on by the looks of it and you must too. Take care of yourself, you sound very sensitive and if so could get easily hurt .

I quite often take days to reply to my friends texts, its not intentional im just a very much in a minute person and then that minute never comes

My friends are my friends because they understand what im like and that its not intentional, if he doesnt get that then he would be a rubbish friend and youre better off with out 🙂

I’m not really in a place to meet anyone right now anyway, there’s a lot going on

I don't think a dating site is for you right now. Hope you feel better soon.

You didn’t behave badly, but maybe he’s busy now? Why are you taking offence at him not replying asap when you didn’t? Not ‘tit for tat’, but just accepting that he might be busy/have other stuff going on?

I’m sorry life’s a bit shit right now, I hope it improves soon 💐

Honestly, if you are feeling this way and needing to ask advice on this, then I really, really would step back from a dating site on the moment. You can meet the love of your life on them (and a lot of twats along the way) but you have to be feeling totally calm and confident about everything else in your life and treat it as a bit of fun or you will not only get hurt but will drive yourself crazy.

You don't make friends on dating websites unless someone is teeing up for a "friends with benefits" scenario.

Why are you on a dating site then? Isn't that pissing guys around?

This. The guy met with you for a date, not to make a friend. If you know you're not in a place to meet someone romantically then stop using the dating site.

Dating sites are for dating. He won't want a friend.
Just mark it down as experience, take yourself off the dating sites if you're not in a place to date and get yourself back on track.

I advise stopping contact with this man and leaving the dating site for the moment. I think there are other sites where the idea is to make friends (without necessarily any romantic/sexual elements) but, while you have every right not to want sex or a romantic relationship, meeting people via dating sites is not going to be much good for you - or them. I have no time for men who whine about being 'friendzoned' when they mean that a woman has decided they are not attractive to her and therefore she doesn't want to have sex with them, but someone looking for dates/sex would not be unreasonable to object to your attitude of I just met someone I got on with and thought let’s keep it that way without the pressure of dating and having a boyfriend and all that.
Is there something behind this such as pressure from people around you to at least display a male partner? I know this can be a bit of a thing for people who are asexual/gay in superstitious communities where everyone's supposed to perform heterosexuality - but it really isn't fair on anyone for you to expect someone else to be a 'pretend partner' for the sake of your reputation.

ReanimatedSGB Massive projection there that the OP is gay!

Lol OMG!!!! No. He said he really enjoyed my company hence the friends thing. I’m keen to be fronds/casually date just not keen on anything committed really. That’s fine right?!

I have no idea whether or not OP is gay and it is none of my business. I was just mentioning that sometimes people who are gay but feeling as though they have to pretend to be heterosexual will look for someone who can at least appear to be their partner, despite the fact that they don't want a partnership relationship with the person.

OP saying she is on a dating site wanting a friend but not a date made me wonder what the reasons were. If you want friends in general, you don't look for them on dating sites.