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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do UnFriendFebruary

41 replies

TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 21:32

Reached the stage beyond pissed off.

A very good friend messaged me yesterday with a question that required a lengthy response. I responded within 2 minutes of her original text.

It was delivered but not read.

Few hours later

Me : ‘ Hope you got it sorted ‘

Same as before

I’m cutting the ties - 48 years of age I’m going to invest in true friends

OP posts:
Original poster
TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 21:32

It’s over 24 hours since the original message

OP posts:
Hisnamesblaine · 31/01/2018 21:34

You dont know what was going on her end. Give her a break

user1495884620 · 31/01/2018 21:35

If it was a lengthy response, perhaps she is waiting until she has an opportunity to read it properly.

Original poster
TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 21:35

Actually I do - it was to do with her question

OP posts:
Inwaiting · 31/01/2018 21:37

Ever heard of a phone call ? It’s this amazing technology where you can actually speak to each other Grin

Give her a call - make sure she’s ok. She may have just forgotten.

McTufty · 31/01/2018 21:39

I agree with you OP, sounds rude (though depends how serious the issue she was asking about is)

StopCallingMeShirley · 31/01/2018 21:42

Goodness. I regularly don't get round to replying instantaneously to messages. At 48, you should be mature enough to not need instant validation.

barefoofdoctor · 31/01/2018 21:42

Founding February sounds more apt. In the nicest possible way OP grow up.

ButteredScone · 31/01/2018 21:43

Honestly, you need to decide on how intensely you are going involve yourself in friendships. You are over-invested.

DisabledUserName · 31/01/2018 21:46

Eh? If this was one of my friends I'd be concerned they were ok and make sure they knew I was there to talk to should they need it and then leave them to it. We all have times when we can't give 100%to a friendship. Just take it as it comes.

McTufty · 31/01/2018 21:47

I think we are only talking about 3 seconds to respond and say thank you.

dudsville · 31/01/2018 21:49

What?

NancyDonahue · 31/01/2018 21:54

Actually this would annoy me. The friend messaged the op with a question. Op responded as quickly as she could with an answer that required time and thought. The friend hasn't even bothered to reply 10 second text to thank her for her time. Rude.

petbear · 31/01/2018 21:57

You need to get out more OP.

DorisDangleberry · 31/01/2018 22:00

I have an app installed on my phone so that I can read messages without the sender knowing I have read them. It's great, I find it really annoys uptight people who track when their messages are read.

Gemini69 · 31/01/2018 22:06

your 'alleged friend' is a DICK.... ditch her and find some friends who actually respect and value your friendships.. Flowers

Originalfoogirl · 31/01/2018 22:07

So, a very good friend is going through stuff and you responded to her text and because she hasn’t responded in 24 hours you want to ditch her?

Sounds like ditching would be the best thing for her.

Gemini69 · 31/01/2018 22:07

It's great, I find it really annoys uptight people who track when their messages are read

really Hmm

Hassled · 31/01/2018 22:09

You've got to balance up however many years of good friendship against what seems to me a pretty minor lack of text etiquette. Is this a tip of the iceberg sort of thing - you say very good friend, but is there actually years of resentment building up for similar stuff? Is it really worth losing the friendship over or have you stopped caring?

Amanduh · 31/01/2018 22:14

Well if they’ve been delivered and not read, I’d assume she was busy or dealing with something else.
Not like she’s read them and not bothered replying?
Over reaction

Original poster
TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 22:24

ok - i’m 48

It’s not a life threatening/family problem/child problem

She asked for some very detailed advice on a health problem (uti) which I provided.
I then followed up with - hope you got it sorted & you are ok ?

Personally common courtesy is - thanks can’t message now as busy but will when I can. She has posted on Facebook since.

OP posts:
petbear · 31/01/2018 22:26

@DorisDangleberry

I have an app installed on my phone so that I can read messages without the sender knowing I have read them. It's great, I find it really annoys uptight people who track when their messages are read.

That app sounds like a good idea.

I can't be doing with people who see you have read their message, and start pissing and moaning coz you didn't respond within 5 minutes. They are a pain in the arse.

I got rid of my smart phone and got a normal PAYG one so no-one could see when I had read a message. Can't be doing with needy, clingy, stressy people whining coz I didn't answer their message 30 seconds after I got it.

Original poster
TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 22:31

@petbear

I’m neither clingy, whiny or stressy

I was concerned

Answered as requested

Got no response

Followed it up

People are just rude

OP posts:
DorisDangleberry · 31/01/2018 23:36

I’m neither clingy, whiny or stressy

But you felt the need to post a clingy whiny message on a public forum about how stressed you are

Original poster
TransferDeadlineDay · 31/01/2018 23:43

@DorisDangleberry where did I say I was stressed ?

OP posts:
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