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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to leave my job?

24 replies

PoppiesAreYellow · 31/01/2018 15:09

I have a 2.5 year old DS. I currently have a brilliant job - I work from home 3 days a week but I am not self employed, I am a salaried member of staff, just for a company which does not have a central office. My hours are flexible, everyone I work with is also part-time with children including my boss. They are really understanding if I have to pick up DC ill from nursery, go out to appointments etc, I am allowed to go for a run. My hours are totally flexible though DC is in nursery so I do tend to do a standard 8.30-4.30 day. Basically though they don't mind what hours we work as long as the work gets done.

The pay isn't great (though tbh it's not that bad for the sector). DH is a higher earner though so that doesn't matter (obviously I know this might change if he should get ill or lose his job or whatever).

Anyway I have a friend who I used to work with who cannot understand why I am working for this salary when I could be earning twice as much. Every time I see her she bugs me about it.

I know I could get paid more but honestly I feel the flexibility I currently have is well worth it. AIBU because I am starting to feel really annoyed with her every time she brings it up.

OP posts:

FluffyWuffy100 · 31/01/2018 15:10

Tell her the work life balance and flexibility and being happy in your role mean more to you than the potential increase in salary. You consider the matter is closed, if you want career advice you’ll ask for it.

MikeUniformMike · 31/01/2018 15:12

It's none of your friend's business. Your job suits you and your family. Your friend is probably envious.

Original poster

PoppiesAreYellow · 31/01/2018 15:13

Ok good glad it's not just me as was starting to feel I was selling myself short.

OP posts:

HollyBayTree · 31/01/2018 15:20

The way to look at it is also no commuting costs, a marginally lesser salary also is less tax and NI, no need to purchase a separate wardrobe, lunch/coffee/snacks etc, once you start balancing out all thoses sorts of expenses and deduction, it often works out even. Factor in that you have complete control over your time, including the ability to flex, stick a load of washing on, and keep on top of houshold chores as you go, extra time in bed, no commute - you've got that far better deal

hopingandprayingthistime · 31/01/2018 15:23

Also imagine the cost and inconvenience if you were office based and had to take unpaid leave to care for your child / take him to appointments! Your friend is jealous!

Wordsmith · 31/01/2018 15:25

Sounds like the holy grail to me! Ignore your friend. Does she have kids/caring responsibilities? If not she's unlikely to understand how important flexibility is.

blackchina · 31/01/2018 15:28

Tell her to fuck off. She is jealous!

HolyMountain · 31/01/2018 15:28

Tell your friend you're happy and that you don't want her bringing it up again.

Graphista · 31/01/2018 15:28

I'd have retorted something like "well not everyone prioritises MONEY, money isn't everything"

Yes probably jealous and if she KEEPS on tell her to wind her neck in!

Original poster

PoppiesAreYellow · 31/01/2018 15:33

I can't see how it's jealousy as she's a SAHM (out of choice, her H earns megabucks) and she used to have a go at me about going back to work full stop because I didn't "need" to.

OP posts:

blackchina · 31/01/2018 15:38

@Poppiesareyellow

I can't see how it's jealousy as she's a SAHM (out of choice, her H earns megabucks) and she used to have a go at me about going back to work full stop because I didn't "need" to

But you said that she said THIS............

Anyway I have a friend who I used to work with who cannot understand why I am working for this salary when I could be earning twice as much. Every time I see her she bugs me about it.

So why would she be bugging you to get a 'better' job (when you are already WORKING!) when she is a fecking stay-at-home-mother! Makes no sense!

What the hell's it got to do with her? And why is she so invested in you working more hours/getting better pay blah blah? When she does not even have a job. As I said, it makes no sense (to me.)

Pollaidh · 31/01/2018 15:39

I'm in a very similar position to you. I know I could be promoted or go into a well-paid corporate role if I was prepared to do more travel, see children less, lose flexibility. Given DH is very well paid, why should I? I enjoy my job though I know I was on a trajectory to go higher. It brings me more than money and I wouldn't be very good at being a SAHM.

Maybe she's not quite so happy about being a SAHM as you think.

juddyrockingcloggs · 31/01/2018 15:39

Can I have a job at your place please?

Original poster

PoppiesAreYellow · 31/01/2018 15:47

I think her point is that if I'm going to work, I should at least be working for more money

OP posts:

Bluelady · 31/01/2018 16:03

Sounds like the job of dreams.

seizethecuttlefish · 31/01/2018 16:08

Do what works for you. I don't understand being judge about someone else's choices, if they don't impact on you. Maybe your friend thinks you're super talented and could be earning a lot more but if money isn't your driver, what does it matter.
Reminds me of a charming work colleague who stated to an entire table on a works night out. "I couldn't be you, seize. You're stuck in a rut because you have kids." I'd like to report that I held my head high and ignored said colleague. I'd "like" to be able to report that but as the colloquialism goes, I ripped her a new one!!!
Moral of this story. Find your happy, be happy. No one else has the right to judge you. Your job sounds perfect to me.

Oblomov18 · 31/01/2018 16:11

Your job sounds like mine. Mine is almost Perfect. I work three days a week, in an office 5 minutes from my house, school hours, for a really nice boss. I can do the work with my eyes closed and it's just fabulous and I love it and I hope with this job never ever ends.

I'm puzzled as to quite what the problem with your friend is? or maybe it's just because she think you should be earning more? which really is none of her business. is it because she is clearly underestimating the very good work-life balance that you have?

Why don't you just tell her straight that you are puzzled by what she says and find it offensive?

WTFIsThisVirus · 31/01/2018 16:13

I think you have a great setup, and you should ignore your friend.

wtffgs · 31/01/2018 16:19

Your friend has too much time on her hands. Plus, she is projecting whatever is wrong in her own life onto you. If you feel crap too, she has company!

Can't stand people like this. Would a short, sharp "Why are you still talking about this? My job suits me and my family." work?

Your job sounds fantastic. I'm jealous

jay55 · 31/01/2018 16:35

Not having a big gap on your cv and family friendly hours more than makes up for a less than amazing salary

LaurieMarlow · 31/01/2018 16:42

I think increasingly people are going to want flexibility and good work life balance rather than big bucks. Sounds like you have it made OP, don't give it another moment's thought.

Angrybird345 · 31/01/2018 16:59

She is jealous!

Bingeslayer · 31/01/2018 17:52

I think she is definitely envious, the only thing I would find better would be winning the lottery, a job like yours would make my life.

bananamonkey · 31/01/2018 17:58

It sounds great! Flexibility and work/life balance are just as (if not more) valuable than money. Plus you're keeping your hand in so you could earn more in the future if/when circumstances change.

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