To be annoyed at wedding venue?

[LolaDo]

I’m getting married in 3 weeks at an English country house hotel type venue.

They have called me today to advise that there will be roof works going on on my wedding day complete with the usual scaffolding etc. Fine. However, this goes round the perimeter of the whole venue so will be at the entrance. This means no pictures outside or under the beautiful archway. There’s a huge path leading up to the entrance with gardens either side so I won’t be able to have pictures here either as the scaffolding will be in the background.

They have also “advised” that the main bar and sitting lounge (it’s like a cigar lounge type thing where guests would have waited when they arrived) will be boarded off for refurbishment and they will be putting a temporary bar/ lounge round the back of the hotel.

I have guests coming from all over and the first thing they are going to see it bloody great scaffolding/ tarpaulin and builders.

I am so upset. What would you do?

We have spent a huge amount of money on this venue because it was “perfect” and now I just feel like the whole day will not be as I imagined. Am I being over dramatic?

I would be getting a full refund and rebooking. You have plenty of time to move if you do it now. There will be other venues that are just as lovely minus the building work. You may even get a great price at the last mi🚎🛬🚇🚇🚇🚇🛬🚇🚇🚇🚇🚇🚇🚇🚇🚇🛬🚇🚇🚇🚇

Good luck with that phone call tomorrow but I don’t hold out much hope if they thought it acceptable to get a receptionist to inform you about all this.

Good idea about recording the phone call. I'd be saying to the planner that if they can't offer to resolve it to your satisfaction in that call, your next action will be to pick up the phone again and speak to the local paper.

Also, definitely ask for the refund of the entire venue fee (separate from catering). It's not what you have paid for.

I’ve just tried to download a call recording app but apparently I have to pay £3.99 to use it are there any free ones?

I’ll definitely be recording the call. Thanks for the suggestion.

I am certain they left it this late so you cant cancel and go somewhere else, no fucking way did they only just find out about this.

I'd be incandescent with rage tbh. If they are part of a chain, then I'd be asking for them to move the wedding to another equal or better hotel nearby. If not, at this late date, a major discount would be on the cards. What does it say in your contact?

OP = try CallStorer - it's very easy to use and clicks in automatically when you make or receive a call (I have it on my android, there may be other options for iPhone). Good luck sorting this out.

And it's free.

I would be ringing around as many other venues as you can that you like to see what availability they have. Maybe also call the registrar and find out if there are any repercussions if you change the venue - they might also be able to provide you with some ideas of good helpful beautiful venues as they will have been to loads over the years to do the weddings, if you are using a registrar to do the wedding at the hotel (and I guess even if you're not, they will still know the venues!).

Then read through their contract very carefully - they will have known a long time ago that these works were in the pipeline so chances are they will have covered themselves with weasly words to try to minimise their losses... Do you have wedding insurance? Or even legal insurance on your home insurance? You could ring them up to ask for their advice on such a massive change and also the fact that they would have known about it in advance but not told you, thereby reducing the chance that you would be able to take a financial hit on moving elsewhere... lots of places have a deposit system tied in by time - so you pay 10% when you book then 25% 6 months before, 50% 3 months before and the balance a month before or whatever. If they had told you at the time, you wouldn't have booked. But if they told you at the time they knew if that wasn't at the time you booked, you might have been able to change and lose a small deposit rather than the whole amount (they might have known it was coming but not finalised actual dates so could argue they thought it might be ok for your wedding). HOpefully they won't insist on you paying anything if you do change though!

If you're having a negotiation with them, remember to not be afraid of the silences... Ask them what they are planning on doing to make the day what they sold you and what you paid for rather than the building site they're expecting you to have your wedding in... And then wait for their answer. If they fudge or um or arr or get distracted and talk about other things or keep silent - keep bringing them back to the point - but what are YOU going to DO to give us what we PAID FOR? Being very british, we don't like silences in a conversation and it's all to easy to feel embarrassed or awkward and realise as you leave that they managed to weasel their way out of explaining what has gone wrong, why this has happened (massive system failure on their part you could argue as they should have told you much sooner) and what they are going to do about it.

Also - if you do go to the venue to have a look around, try to talk to one of the scaffolders/builders or take their number - bet they will have a board outside if it is a nice venue) and ring up and be very chatty, asking them how long they think they'll be there as you're thinking about having a wedding there, how is the work going, have they been there long, do they get much notice on these jobs or is it all last minute - all nice and chatty... And hopefully they will say when they were booked so you will know for definite when the hotel knew and thus could have contacted you.

And remember to make the hotel sweat too - get them to make their offer, it will be their opening bid so you should be able to get more out of them as they are not going to offer their best offer initially. And then say that you will need to discuss it with your dp, (and maybe parents/PIL - even if you're not) to decide what to do next as that will give you time to look around (quickly!) to see if there is anything else free. They will want you to agree to something as quickly as possible in the hope that you will agree to still have the wedding with as little discount as they can get away with.

Honestly, it was stressful moving my wedding at short notice but I'm so glad we did - ended up with a much nicer venue, a stunning day, and they gave us a great deal as it was last minute and they wanted to help. Don't dismiss the idea without making some enquiries. I'm so glad we didn't get married at the place that went bankrupt - once we moved the wedding I realised how unhelpful they'd been, how shoddy their "event planners" were and it would probably have been awful.

Our new venue was about 35 mins drive from the old one and we had to sort out accommodation on cars as we couldn't stay on site, but it all worked out. Keep your options open at this point. Of course you don't have to have photos outside but that's a big thing you're not getting, as well as the use of rooms being different.

They've definitely done this on purpose. And if it's in three weeks I bet you've had to make full payment by now?

Throw your bridal weight around, be furious with them (while remaining chill in real life - keep perspective, there really are worse things that happen at sea and all that). They will have already agreed how much discount they will concede if you push for it, so just push to the max to get a bargain. Utter bastards.

Sorry you are in such a stressful situation so close to the big day. They should absolutely be refunding you the venue fee. Can you ask if part of the building can remain unscaffolded for pics? It is unlikely they need to actually use all of it at the same time. And surely anyone else who has booked the venue will be feeling the same as you.

ACR is a free app you can try. I have it on android. I wasn't able to find any for iphones when I looked a few years ago as there are different rules for call recording in the US and Apple are an American company. Might have changed now though

Good luck!

Call them on a landline and use an iPhone to re it’s the conversation - voice memo. Free.

I'd be the exact same
Have a wee look over your contract before confronting them
I'd hope they offer a discount for it but are probably just hoping you won't complain

(I don't usually but your wedding day is different and it should be the way you picture it ) x

So despite their prior knowledge of the work, they chose the day the wedding planner was "off" to get someone else to call you?

It's not looking good if they're now trying to treat you as a fool on top of the rest, and while I hope they'll call tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised if the person you need is now permanently "in a meeting" - and all the while time gets shorter

I really would be moving heaven and earth to find somewhere else

Yep if he doesn’t call me tomorrow I’m going to drive down there. I want to see it for myself anyway.

IF the OP can find a new venue with 30 bedrooms available for 3 weeks time, and IF the original venue give a refund, all fine and dandy - because it's possible that 30 couples might not want to pay twice for the rooms.

Same with changing the date - when people might have booked time off work, bought advance train tickets , booked accommodation etc.... It's dropping a lot of people into a lot of extra expense etc.

Similar happen to a friend she cancelled and booked a last minute deal with a different local hotel who were happy to help.
We sent emergency change of venue invited out and rebooked all guests into new hotel.
It was hassle before but it didn't spoil the day.

Exactly lizard

I really don’t want to change venue. It’s beautiful inside and I’m just hoping that something can be done to minimise disruption. I can deal with a bit of scaffolding and I can deal with the bar being moved as long as it is of a similarly high standard/ drink selection is not limited.

I cannot deal with walking through scaffolding in my wedding dress with no photos and builders all around me. The first impression for the guests is also ruined.

I will decide how to handle this based on how the venue deals with it going forward. Getting the receptionist to phone me isn’t on and I’ll me making this clear.

This is awful, really terrible. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so close to your wedding day.
Have you checked the local council website? Works to the extent you describe likely would have needed planning permission (particularly if its a listed building, no idea of it is or not!). If you look on the council website you’ll be able to find the planning application and when it was submitted. That should give you an indication as to how long they’ve known about it. If you’re not sure how to do it then send me a PM with the name and area of the venue and I’ll see if I can find it for you, but your council website should have a search facility on it including the address.

Getting the receptionist to phone me isn’t on and I’ll me making this clear

They'll probably claim they were absolutely desperate to let you know, and that they were the only person available ...

Crikey, what a nightmare! Hope you get some reassurance tomorrow OP.

God almighty, what a fricking nightmare!!! You absolutely have to strong about this. Fuckers!!!

OP im a general manager of a large hotel and was an events director before that...you have absolutely been shafted.

In this situation i would be looking upwards of 50% discount.

I wouldnt record a call as if you dont make them aware this could be dismissed in civil court. I would write a letter to the General Manager specifying what you want.

Building work like that isnt organised overnight. Most hotels would do displacement models to avoid disruption.

I would ask for a 50% discount on everything booked and that they also hold another date for you later in the year for you to come back for your pictures including that they pay for the photographer, new flowers etc.. explain that those pictures exist far longer than the actual day.