To ask for help with depression?

[EeyoresEars]

I’ve NC for this as I don’t want people I know offline to know about this.

So, I’ve through for a while that I may be depressed. I feel like crying half the time, I’m exhausted even if I get enough rest, I rarely feel like I enjoy anything, I’m eating junk food in a desperate attempt to cheer myself up, I’m short tempered which is really out of character for me, I hardly speak to friends any more as I feel like I have nothing to bring to our friendships and I don’t have the energy to be a good friend so I just keep to myself.

I eventually saw my GP who said they can’t give me medication because of other long term medication I’m on (I half expected this as I can’t take lots of common medicines), and that they can refer me for “talking therapy” (which I think would help) but that the waiting list is “extremely long”. I asked what that meant and she couldn’t say but advised that if I haven’t heard anything in six months time I should call the GP to follow it up, and in the meantime I’m to go back to the GP if it gets worse, by which she means if I’m thinking about harming myself (I’m not). She suggested I could pay for private counselling but financially that’s a non starter.

So, I’m trying really hard to be positive and think of ways to manage either until I feel better or this referral comes through. So...can anyone recommend websites, books, etc that might have helpful ideas in? I have tried Google but there are so many sites (and people trying to sell stuff) that I have no idea what to trust and a recommendation from people who know about this stuff would be amazing. Basically just any ideas about how I can try to manage this myself even if it’s only until I can get some professional help. Thanks mumsnet (and sorry to abuse AIBU for traffic).

Try Mind:

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/self-care-for-depression/#.WnHNqHxpHIU

They have various ideas for self-help and links to stuff like free basic CBT courses.

My counsellor recommended www.getselfhelp.co.uk as being a reputable site, with various CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) aids.

I also found some useful books, including "Undoing Depression: what therapy doesn't teach you and medication can't give you" by Richard O'Connor. It has some helpful strategies as well as very clear explanations of depression and its causes.

Hi Eeyores!

The NHS waiting list is ridiculous and their overall MH services diabolical (in my experience). I was on meds but hated it.

I found private talking therapy which was discounted because I was at the time on part time hours on min wage. It was £35 per hour session, I went every week, then every fortnight and so on. It was endlessly helpful and has changed my outlook on life. It seems a huge amount of money when you don't have a lot but it is so worth it. Sometimes all we need is an uninvolved person to listen to all the things in your head without judging.

Good luck

Self care is the first step. It's hard but try to imagine you are looking after a depressed friend and play that part.

So try to engage in healthy eating - a good breakfast every day scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, porridge, overnight oats - avoid fatty or heavy carbs like white bread. Make yourself a nutrious healthy supper - salmon and salad.

Look into taking 5 -HTP in the afternoon /evening. Helps serotonin production - research how much you need.

Go to bed early (11pm latest) at the same time every day.

If your home environment has suffered (messy or dirty) choose one room (where you spend most time) and make an effort to tidy/clean it.

I have had depression a number of times since the age of 17.
I had to wait 7 months before I saw a counsellor through my GP, I only went a few times but didn't gel with her. A few months later I went to see a private counsellor and she helped a great deal.
I also found being outdoors helped me, we took a gap year and lived in a tent for 10 months a few years ago and I needed no medication the whole time.

Search for IAPT - it's an NHS scheme to offer help with stress/depression etc. If they have it in your area it should be quicker than waiting for the gp. You can self-refer, they'll normally have a chat with you over the phone, then pass you on to the support they think will be most useful. Their services can be limited, but it's free, and might find exactly what you need.

Aww OP, I'm sorry that you're going through this. 6 months is a long time to go without any professional help. If you don't feel like you're coping then you should go back to your GP and ask if there's anything else they can do for you. You mentioned not wanting people offline to know and if you really dont feel like you have anyone you could talk to for support (it's nothing to be embarrassed about and is a medical condition), I used a service called Breathing Space when I was suffering from depression and I can't tell you how much of a lifeline they were. I'm not sure if they are only available in Scotland though but its worth a look - breathingspace.scot/. They were recommended by my GP but there may be something like that in your area if you're somewhere else.

I found exercise really helped. I didn't want to a lot of the time - I just wanted to curl up under the duvet and you have to make yourself but it really did make me feel better. I started with a martial arts club and ended up that sometimes it was the only place where I didn't want to cry because my mind was too busy. If you can't face a club with other people then even just 20 minutes at the gym or a walk even!

I hope you feel better. Take care of yourself

Are there really no medications at all that would be safe for you?

It sounds like, if you do have depression, it's clinical depression not situational depression. And, if that's the case, then I don't know how much help talking therapy could be anyway. If there's an upset in your brain chemistry and nothing significantly wrong in your life then it's drugs that are going to redress the balance, not therapy.

Being outside and paying attention to my surroundings helps me, I always feel better after a walk with my dog , if you like dogs you could see if there is a shelter nearby and that needs walkers. I also use this, m.youtube.com/watch?t=344s&v=u4gZgnCy5ew , body scan as focusing on relaxing the body helps me to relax and interrupts my thoughts. It might also be worth trying a beginners yoga class.

Lastly I think it is very positive that you have posted on here for ideas 👍 Hope you get that referral and feel better soon💐