To message a colleague

[NameChangedAndForgotOldName]

I worked with him today, we had a discussion about something to do with our industry,when I got home I looked into it a bit more, found something interesting and sent him a message on Facebook about my findings.

Apparently his girlfriend isn't happy about me messaging her boyfriend 😕

What did he say exactly when he told you that? Was it jokey or serious?
I wouldn't read too much into it tbh. My dh told a colleague something similar when she started messaging him in the evenings (just after he'd got in, at dinner time onwards) with inappropriate gossipy comments about another colleague. I was a bit cross he'd used me as an excuse. I think he was uncomfortable with the tone of the messages (and likes to keep work for work times!) but didn't know how to say it without sounding rude.

Really weird that he felt the need to tell you.

She needs to calm down. My work colleagues and I WhatsApp each other articles and stuff all the time.

As for him telling you, he may have been saying it to tell you not to do it again, as he doesn't want the grief.

She must be good in bed. What man would stand an insecure mess like that?

Yeah been Fb friends for ages, it was just something we were both interested in, nothing odd and to do with the work we do which is also our hobby

Then she is beyond unreasonable. And if it was in PM, wtf is she doing reading his PMs???

It's possible that she just said "why is work messaging you at this time" and he's read into that his fantasy that he's being faught over.. And has created more drama by telling you which feeds into it.

It's odd that he told you, he wouldn't tell you unless he wants to draw you into something
Even if she DID go batshit, why would be tell you? Surely he would deal with that separately and just mention the next day that he didn't get a chance to reply: busy/early night.

I would take a step back, and don't bitch about how unreasonable she's being to him or anyone at work because he's manipulating you regardless of whether she did or didn't freak out

So, he told you this. Hmmmm, I wonder if he has feelings for you and is testing the water a bit?

Or has she said anything and he's setting the scene to brand her as hysterical because he is cheating with someone and they are on the verge of splitting?

I've seen it time and tine again and the men often use a decoy friend to show things were all innocent.

And also what Margo said.

Second that- I think he is perhaps testing the water...

If he is testing the waters, and you're tempted, don't go there!
A man who goes around discrediting his current partners mental state to others is not someone you want to be involved with!

Wait how do you know she doesn't like you messaging him

Have you messaged him before and he said his gf doesn't like it. If so it's sounds like he doesn't like it but didn't wanna be rude.

If so it's sounds like he doesn't like it but didn't wanna be rude.
That was my first thought as I do not want messages from work people outside of work generally (don't mind shift swap requests etc) but if that's true he's an asshole for scapegoating his girlfriend so that he still looks friendly/cool