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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that husband has been called back to work

134 replies

Vitotitto · 30/01/2018 18:36

Yesterday my DH felt unwell. He told that to his team leader. Today he had the fever and messaged him (team leader) that he decided to stay home.

At 5 pm DH received a call. Team leader asked to come to work as he is calling sick too often (to manage's point of view).

He had 3 days of absence in September 2017 (with enterovirus coxsackie, even visited his doctor that time) and 2 days in December 2017 (kind of cold).

He got today's virus last week from another guy who came ill (very obviously).

Team leader told him today that one of the bosses said that "diarrhoea is not enough to miss work". Err... Excuse me?

What to do? Visit HR?

That's not normal, isn't it?

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 30/01/2018 20:21

Op the fact he's gone into work is now going to make his manager think he wasn't that ill to begin with. If i were him I'd have said 'I'm sorry but I'm too ill to be in work'

chinam · 30/01/2018 20:25

I would not question the validity of someone's illness but the frequency of the absences would trigger a review in the company I work for. One absence of a few days is generally much easier managed than multiple single days.

WonderLime · 30/01/2018 20:27

Chocywocky

Well no, as a manager has a duty of care to provide reasonable adjustments. That could include adjusting trigger levels.

As for a rubbish employee- wells that's poor management and separate to the sickness policy.

MaisyPops · 30/01/2018 20:27

Chocywockydodahhhhhh
I have a long term health issue which can flare up.
Work are entirely accepting of me needing short absences. They would rather i ahd short absences to prvent a flare up than be signed off and them have to find supply teachers for all my exam classes.

It triggers a meeting each year but work's response is 'if you need anything let us jnow'

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 30/01/2018 20:29

Well of course I had a medical note but I still got badgered as to when I would return, whilst I was still in hospital! (DH to be at the time read the messages to me as I was too ill to do pretty much anything). However I do realise that's not the point - what is the point is that infectious people shouldn't be forced to come into work and spread it to everyone else.

Moreisnnogedag · 30/01/2018 20:32

If he’s only been in this company 1 year, he needs to be careful - he can be dismissed for any reason. Sometimes depending on the job it is (stupidly) better to go in and be sent home. It’s ridiculous but true.

chinam · 30/01/2018 20:34

Chocy, if one of my team is going to be off for six months, I can apply to HR to hire a temporary replacement. However if someone is out for a day or two every month, the rest of the team have to take up the slack. I know it's not the fault of the person who is sick but it does make things quite difficult to manage at times.

Original poster
Vitotitto · 30/01/2018 20:40

It was a beginning of December, not the Christmas period!

Chocywockydodahhhhhh,

We are all meant to be robots now and never be ill

this.. yes. I'm pretty sad, to be honest. The thing is that he got this thing from another guy at work. Who even said he had complications and now taking antibiotics. Seriously, that's just ridiculous.

Ok, lesson learnt. Come ill, spread virus, enjoy complications and antibiotics.

OP posts:
ForalltheSaints · 30/01/2018 20:41

Messaging or email to me should not be allowed- unless you have lost your voice or have no hearing you should have to phone up.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2018 20:44

You can't tell whether someone is being unreasonable to be off from a some description of ailment and no job info. I dosed up yesterday and went in. I teach in a PRU. I have no voice and can't talk without coughing. I'm taking a day off!

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2018 20:46

I texted my boss this morning because no voice. I did apologise for not ringing though. We are supposed to call.

Original poster
Vitotitto · 30/01/2018 20:49

Yes, by the way, he asked for a day off if that was better, but they do not allow this kind of short notice. His team leader knows he is genuinely ill, its nothing to do with him, but the manager I guess.

Well, he is next to get the cold I guess.

My 2,8 y.o. just started to sneeze...

OP posts:
Original poster
Vitotitto · 30/01/2018 20:59

Thank you all for your replies!

OP posts:
ohlalalala · 30/01/2018 21:02

It really isn't about how genuine the illness is or isn't. It's about managing sickness absence fairly and within acceptable levels

Cherrycokewinning · 30/01/2018 21:04

You seem overly worried about cold catching. It’s winter, you can pick up a old from anywhere. Basic hygiene and tell him not to lick his colleagues Wink

Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 30/01/2018 21:07

Yep but I lot of work places are not accepting of conditions that cause short term absences. Especially those I find that use the Bradford Factor. I do a days voluntary work at a disability charity and come across this all the time.

It's one of the reasons some people with epilepsy are discriminated against in the workplace because they are more likely to take a day here and there.
Also I know the crap colleague is a separate issue but you can't help compare both of my colleagues and the work they do. And I was just saying given the choice of a crap worker who does meet targets but is in all the time and someone who has taken some time off but has meet all his targets I know who I would choose.

Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 30/01/2018 21:11

It is a question of fairness and an absence policy should not work as a one sizes fits all. The Bradford Factor for instance- yes have the trigger levels but don't hand out warnings as soon as a trigger is hit. Unfortunetly many places do
I am glad that some people on here have very fair employees but a great deal dont

Chocywockydodahhhhhh · 30/01/2018 21:12

Sorry just want to add I know some places do use the Bradford Factor well and fairly

LemonysSnicket · 30/01/2018 21:56

I get that companies need a limit to ensure no ones taking the mickey but 6 days really isn’t that many! I had tonsilistis 4 times last year!!

Somersetter · 30/01/2018 22:08

Just because his colleague ended up needing antibiotics doesn't mean your DH will at all - some people just get complications from a straightforward virus. Not necessarily a sign of the severity of the virus itself.

Ellendegeneres · 30/01/2018 22:35

Yeah my ds needed antibiotics recently, I got what he had but viral laryngitis instead of the infection he had. So it is individual as to how he’ll get- my youngest coughed a bit —for sympathy— for two days where myself and his brother were laid out like we were dying 🙄

RunningOutOfCharge · 30/01/2018 22:39

A otherwise healthy adult should really be able to power through if it's just some cold! There's medication to help with symptoms

notacooldad · 31/01/2018 08:43

I get that companies need a limit to ensure no ones taking the mickey but 6 days really isn’t that many! I had tonsilistis 4 times last year!!

You would have gone over the trigger point with my company but that doesn't mean anything bad would happen to you. It is a recurring illness and they would be looking to see what could be done about it, how they could help etc. The employers do need to record and monitor sickness to see if there is a repeat patten of sickness with some individuals ( as I said before, do they go off sick on the same day or same period), are other employees being off with the same thing,. If so that could indicate an environment problem and something may need looking into.

Dilligaf81 · 31/01/2018 17:59

This is so annoying, short sighted and selfish. People are forced into work when they are I'll and really shouldn't be there. It gets spread about and then it'll affect someone who can't cope with it. My Ds has severe asthma and this sort of behaviour at my work spreads to him and ends up wit a stay in hospital and someone's icu. Companies need a policy that's flexible and fair I get that but calling someone who is sick in isn't the way to do it.

WonderLime · 31/01/2018 18:26

They do - it's called the sickness absence policy. It means that an employee will trigger whenever they go over a certain level of absence but it doesn't automatically mean they are fired. An employer has a duty of care to see if anything can be done to help the employee - if they have concerns then a warning is issued. If not, then the employer can waive the warning.

You cannot sack someone who has been off ill without significant investigation and several reasonable adjustments put in place (if required)

I've said this further up this thread, but I work in OH. Firing someone due to ill health is definitely one of the hardest ways to sack someone. We (as a company) have to ensure we cover all bases and employees regularly take dismissal due to capability/I'll health to tribunal).

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