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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DH to A&E

195 replies

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 30/01/2018 12:40

I'll try to make this quick as I have a habit of rambling on.
Basically dh wants to be tested for a genetic condition which his dad has which fuses the spine. He has every symptom. Dh is at the point now where he cannot move for the pain and he is getting no sleep because of it. He is on strong meds but they do nothing. An x-ray is required for diagnosis but the doctors will not refer him for one. They give him more pain meds which dont touch the pain.
Aibu to take DH to a&e to try get the x-ray next time he wakes up in the night screaming in pain? Sorry if this is a stupid question but I know the consensus on mn over wasting the doctors time at a&e. I'm just struggling to see my DH in so much agony every day.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 30/01/2018 22:55

Not all private Doctors insist on a referral , I’d try a different hospital if that’s the route which is best for you .

HPandBaconSandwiches · 30/01/2018 23:31

You’re not being alarmist Riverside , you’re absolutely right. Loss of sensation or weakness is an emergency and you should present to A&E if you’re GP can’t see you immediately. Don’t ever leave it and wait (not even for a few hours) - it won’t always go away.

Dungeondragon15 · 31/01/2018 10:01

My partner's brother has AS and it's my understanding that it is passed down the female line, so your DP shouldn't be able to inherit from his dad.

I know at least two people who have inherited it from their fathers.

Pearlsaringer · 31/01/2018 10:27

So sorry to hear your DH is suffering such pain. It is really debilitating.

Yes to a referral to a rheumatologist - ask firmly for your GP to provide this. My DH was referred on the advice of a physio after literally years of misdiagnosis. (And yes, if you go private you still need a GP referral, I had to do this when getting seen privately for a knee op. I imagine it would be difficult for them to refuse this though).

Does your DH have a sedentary job? His pain may be exacerbated by how he sits at work. My DH’s life was transformed by one of those ergonomic ‘kneeling’ chairs. Really, life changing.

He also followed the exercise regime religiously. Keeping everything moving (once you get the pain under control) is very effective and stops everything seizing up.

To answer your original question, if your GP won’t cooperate you are left with no option but to go to A&E, but personally I wouldn’t do this first.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 31/01/2018 10:33

He really needs to see his GP today. An x-ray might or might not be helpful. A lot of people don’t have anything show up on x-ray but they are subsequently diagnosed by MRI.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/01/2018 12:15

It's started affecting his sciatic nerve now as a few times he's lost feeling in his legs and nearly collapsed

DH has chronic sciatica and has been told that if he loses feeling he has to go to A&E straight away.

Original poster
DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 31/01/2018 13:11

Thanks again for your replies. Yes he has a desk job so is sat down most of the time and gets very little exercise.

He's also been getting pains in his knees alot. He started playing football before Xmas but had to stop as pain was too bad. I got him a knee brace which helped a little but not enough. He said he feels his knee needs to click or something?

Anyway I made him ring doctors this morning. Our doctors when you ring for same day appointment you have to keep ringing when it first opens that day to try get through. This means ringing at 8.30am again and again and again, constantly getting an engaged tone until finally you get through. His phone at the end of it says he redialled 139 times. Is this a joke?! 139 times ringing the same number to try to get through to see a doctor. Usually when you do get through they say that all the appointments are already filled and ring back tomorrow. Its's a stupid system.

Luckily he has finally got an appointment today at 3.20pm. I'm at work but leaving shortly to go with him. On your advice I've printed off lots of information about the condition AS and will be taking it in with me. I'm demanding to see a specialist and xrays and blood tests or whatever he needs.

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 31/01/2018 13:16

Good luck OP! I clicked through to the end of this thread to say to ignore all the bollocks about not going to A&E and simply to do whatever it takes to get your husband a diagnosis and treatment ... but hopefully, the GP will come through this time. RIP the NHS eh?

Dungeondragon15 · 31/01/2018 13:58

OP- are you sure that he has actually told his GP about his family history and described how bad his symptoms are. Often when people are scared they tend to not mention certain salient points as they don't won't their worst fears to be confirmed. I appreciate this may seem odd but I have done this in the past and I other people do the same thing. Anyway, it is good that you are going to the appointment with him.

Dungeondragon15 · 31/01/2018 13:58

won't want

Lweji · 31/01/2018 14:07

139 times ringing the same number to try to get through to see a doctor.

At some point I realised that it was easier to go early and queue at my old surgery to get an appointment. By the time I got through on the phone often there were no appointments. Sad

LizzieSiddal · 31/01/2018 14:09

Great luck! You sound like you’ve got a plan.

SauvignonBlanche · 31/01/2018 14:15

Hope all goes well Flowers

Shimmershimmerandshine · 31/01/2018 14:28

Why on earth would the GP refuse an x-ray? It's only a quick photograph not something that costs £££££.

I remember the GP giving me a form after I'd told her I didn't want one (for something the management of wouldn't have changed) 'just in case'. Yeah in other words 'so I don't have to waste my time seeing you again if you change your mind'.

Try a different doctor.

Original poster
DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 31/01/2018 17:25

Thanks again. Today we saw a different doctor that dh hadn't seen before. This was not on request btw this is how our surgery deals with appointments, you just see whoever is free. Dh said it's not the same gp who had previously refused x-ray and given him the meds. This one looked up the condition, asked questions about the symptoms. I did at this point start putting in my two cents that I wanted dh seen to asap, telling gp if it is AS it may get worse and spread to his organs if undiagnosed. Gp asked what I actually wanted him to do. I said x-ray, bloods, referral to rheumatologist. I was not backing down at this point. He actually agreed! He's given dh an x-ray card to take to our local hospital for an x-ray and he's making an urgent referral for a rheumatologist. He wanted to look down the physio route but he agreed that it would be best going straight to rheumatologist. He said he cannot do blood test, the rheumatologist will refer for the bloods instead.

I feel so much better now we know that they're actually going to do something about it. Gp said we would be hearing in about a week about the rheumatologist appointment. I'm relieved that this gp is listening because none of the others in that surgery have. We did ring the hospital afterwards about x-ray as the doctor said if we ring in advance we can get a time to come rather than taking down the x-ray card and waiting around. We called them and they said they have to wait until the referral comes from the gp before they will see us? This doesn't seem right as I had an x-ray a few years ago in the same way and you just walk in on same day if you need to. Dh said he'll go down this week to the hospital and see what they say if he takes the x-ray card.

Thanks all again, I'll update this thread if we hopefully can get a diagnosis Smile. Dh has been given another strong painkiller to keep him going. He couldn't have the strongest one as they make him really ill.

OP posts:
Poppiesway1 · 31/01/2018 17:47

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass re Xray. Radiographer here. That is how we do it at our hospital. We’ve had to stop the randomness of GP patients just turning up for an X-ray. We now give every one appointments which reduces waiting time and can check the right imaging request has been made. Inpatients and A&E patients are on a different system to GP’s so appointments aren’t ness for them.

Pearlsaringer · 31/01/2018 17:48

Great work OP! Hopefully now he is in the referral system he will get answers. Could he also get an assessment at work for a customised office chair? For example:
www.officefurnitureonline.co.uk/office-chairs/kneeler-chairs/kanga-heavy-duty-kneeling-chair.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsfuNvOCC2QIVqbftCh1hpgNOEAQYASABEgL2t_D_BwE
Sorry for the long link but this is very similar to the chair my OH used and it made such a difference to him.

Richdebtomdom · 31/01/2018 17:57

I have AS (ankylosing spondylitis) ... your Doctor can do a blood test that gives an indication...

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 18:23

GP. If an X-ray is what diagnoses it, it's genetic, his Dad has it and he has the symptoms then what are the GP's reasons for not referring him? Can you ask for a second opinion in the practice? I don't think A&E is the place. He would need counselling around this.

MsHarry · 31/01/2018 18:24

Sorry just seen update.Good luck.

niccyb · 31/01/2018 18:34

Rather than wait until your husband is in an screaming in pain and then attending a&e, why demand a book on the day appointment with the GP before that happens again. You could ask for an urgent one tomorrow.
The government insists that all surgeries reserve so many appointments for urgent book on the day appointments.
You could demand he is referred and see if something can be given for when he becomes in immense pain. Explain to the GP that when he is like that, You have considered a&e due to the amount of pain he is in.

Bramble71 · 31/01/2018 18:44

Please change your GP and, when you have your first appointment, take along any medical documentation hubby has about his dad. I'd ask for a double appointment, too, so there's plenty of time to talk about what's concerning your husband and for any examinations.

kitchensinkmum · 31/01/2018 18:49

Yes because lots of things cause acute back pain and the gp may have missed something. If someone is screaming in pain and they don't have a proper diagnosis a trip to A and E is justified
He may get his X-ray but will most likely see a proper consultant who will help him

kitchensinkmum · 31/01/2018 18:51

Just seen update. Wishing you tons of luck

SluttyButty · 31/01/2018 18:57

Just skimmed this. Glad he has a referral, there’s quite a few meds to help keep the AS quiet if this is what he turns out to have. I’m on them and when you find the right combo they can transform your life.