Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Cms are lazy and want us to do what they are paid for?

30 replies

Fullerhouse · 30/01/2018 09:50

So ex partner quit he's job once the child maintenance caught up with him because he didn't want to pay the rate they set. He later started to transfer me 100 pounds a month, a lot less than they had said but my approach was something is better than nothing and said nothing.
We have just got our annual review from them and they have set it at a nil rate as they are taking it on him saying he was unemployed previously.
Received an email from him saying he will no longer be paying as he doesn't have to according to Cms and because I won't tell him our new address or my number. (He used to turn up drunk and ring me all hours plus was abusive when we was together so got a restraining order and he still turned up scared the hell out of my boys so we moved town. He doesn't see dc anymore anyway because of a lot of drunken antics when they were on he's care including drink driving) anyway I spoke to Cms today to say I want to appeal the decision clearly he's been working the last few months and they have asked me to find out where he's new job is because there is nothing else they can do if he is self employed. I said I can tell you he's trade and the town he lives in but I'm not sure what company. Well the lovely lady said if I can't find out the company then there is nothing they can do and it will stay at a nil income as they have spoken to ex partner previously and he has said he is unemployed. Don't they get paid to do this type of digging? I wouldn't know where to start. It just annoys me that he can play the system like this yet I'm working my butt off and put all my wages toward our children's life and he can't even put a small percentage yet alone sticking to it.

OP posts:
ThisLittleKitty · 30/01/2018 10:19

Yep same. I've finally put in a claim for cm. as my ex hasn't worked for 5 years to avoid paying (he also wasn't on benefits) I've since found out he has gone onto benefits so I applied to the Cms I asked them if he gets a job will they be aware because otherwise I will only get £7 a week for 4 children. She said no and that I should "try to find out" err yeh I don't speak to him and if I did he is hardly going to tell me anything now that I've gone to Cms.

donners312 · 30/01/2018 10:20

It's just disgusting!

Could someone call him with the offer of a fake job and ask for a copy of his CV or where he is working or something like that?

Original poster
Fullerhouse · 30/01/2018 17:43

Sorry guys I've been at work, ooh a job offer is a good idea I wonder if he'd fall for it.
The thing is the only contact he can have with me is email that way my phones not ringing at 2am. He's not likely to say "oh by the way I work at such and such"
It just makes me annoyed a Cma as much as him because they are quick enough to take their fees from everyone but what are we actually paying for because unless it's a easy case where deductions to earning order can be set up or the paying parent is a decent person and agrees to child maintenance they don't seem interested yet that is when they are needed most! Hmm

OP posts:
DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 30/01/2018 17:48

It’s bloody ridiculous. The CMS aren’t fit for purpose. They have no teeth at all. Do you know any of his friends/family who would let slip where he works? What about Facebook, does he have his employer on his Facebook account?

WhiskyIrnBru · 30/01/2018 17:52

Totally agree! The system is a joke. They really are totally inept. I'm in a scarily similar situation to you. My ex job jumps and has paid absolutely bugger all for years. He often gets jobs, maintenance gets calculated, pays for one month then he leaves his job. Then everything has to be recalculated. I've decided it's not worth the hassle now. They also expected me to know where he works etc. Even tho it was an abusive relationship and I'm scared of him.

AngelsSins · 30/01/2018 18:02

It disgusts me that men can get away with not paying like this, they should be in prison for neglect. The government sure have resources when it comes to people who don't pay council tax, but don't want to pay for your own kids? Never mind....

My brother has 3 kids by 3 very young women, doesn't pay a penny for any of them. One of the women asked CMS to help, he told them he wasn't working, and not on benefits, so they left it at that. Apparently he doesn't need to sell any of the 4 or 5 cars he owns at any one time to pay either. I have nothing to do with him.

scrabbler3 · 30/01/2018 18:10

CMS don't have enough power. I'm not sure what the point of this agency is, because they don't seem to have a mandate to force feckless parents to cough up. The staff must be frustrated.

Blankscreen · 30/01/2018 18:15

So how does the nrp keep themselves if they are not.working?

Or are they working and lying?

I though the CMS used tax records.

MrsMaxwell · 30/01/2018 18:17

After 3 years of waiting to hear from the CSA (couldn’t go to CMA as original claim
With CSA) I had a letter closing my claim because they have disbanded Hmm

TheQueenOfWands · 30/01/2018 18:18

Whenever I rang them about deadbeat ExH they'd ask me to try to find out his address and phone number for them.

Er, if I had that I'd take him to court, wouldn't I?

blackteasplease · 30/01/2018 18:21

Fuckers! It should be like the US and non payers should go to prison.

WhiskeySourpuss · 30/01/2018 18:38

They are useless but did we really expect any different... it's essentially the CSA rebranded same staff even though they claim it isn't & now we have to pay for the pleasure of using their completely inept service.

My case is quite complicated as I am both a paying parent (one through collect & pay and another family based arrangement) & a receiving parent (direct pay) but last time I called they were giving me details about my exh's other case... I had to explain to them that J was not my child!

When we eventually got to the right case they had one child counted twice - once for collect & pay and again as a family based arrangement - and no shared care element recorded for the other child! By the time I explained how it should be my payments dropped by £150 each month!!! No doubt it'll take 6 months for an changes to take effect though Hmm

kitkatsky · 30/01/2018 18:40

Exact same situation. I was also told if I could get his NI number they could help. I asked why they didn’t have this when you have to use this to confirm identity on phone. Other issue is he works in industry with a lot of cash in hand payments. I can’t track him from job to job when we live 200 miles away. The worse thing is when DD with him and he spends hundreds of quid on toys and sees that as a contribution as if that’ll keep her warm in winter

ThisLittleKitty · 30/01/2018 18:42

*So how does the nrp keep themselves if they are not.working?

Or are they working and lying?

I though the CMS used tax records.*

In my exes case he works but cash in hand so nice little way to avoid Cms. Some are self employed and others according to the Cms "could be living off their partner"

donners312 · 30/01/2018 18:50

In order to reduce his payments (not that he has actually made any yet) my deadbeat ex is now claiming that he is financially responsible for his girlfriends DD. He lives in London (in a flatshare) and she is 10 and goes to school and lives up north?

donners312 · 30/01/2018 18:52

I think if they are living off their partner then they should also be responsible for paying the CM? They want to take on a feckless twats with responsibilities then they should be responsible for them!!

ThisLittleKitty · 30/01/2018 19:00

That's just what Cms said to me when they told them ex wasn't working or claiming benefits, so I asked them aren't they suspicious of what he is doing then and I was told no because he could be living off a partner.

PandaPieForTea · 30/01/2018 19:10

I know it wouldn’t solve every case, but it seems obvious to me that there should be a link with the tax system and not paying maintenance should be equivalent to tax evasion. The idea that there are parents with an NI number and being taxed, but not being able to track their earnings for CM seems ludicrous.

HughGrantsHair · 30/01/2018 19:13

Your yearly review should involve them gaining his last year's income from HMRC. So if they have zero on their records he must be working cash in hand. They can't really do anything more if HMRC have no income or employer on their records.

I'm surprised people have been asked to find out employers for them. When my ex was working they got the details from the tax office. But obviously because at the time he was working PAYE.

Now he claims to be living off his girlfriend so he doesn't have to contribute anything. Just looks after her children instead. Hmm

HughGrantsHair · 30/01/2018 19:13

Panda CMS do have access to tax records now. This is what is confusing me.

Blankscreen · 30/01/2018 20:35

I suppose if they are dodging the tax man then there is little that can be done in terms of making them pay.

My dh pays.maintenance through CMS and happily does so. They get his figures from his p60 and calculate for the next year. For us its much better than CSA as dh gets a bonus and the CSA just couldn't deal with that.

The issue is lots of families are pretty hard up when one single unit throw running g 2 homes into the mix and it's easy to see that there isn't much money.

What tosser though gives up work just to avoid paying for their child. Different if a genuine redundancy situation but shame on them.

donners312 · 30/01/2018 20:48

if there is nothing they can do because they give up work or whatever then the CMS should confiscate their passport because it s amazing how many 5* holidays these men with no jobs, no income, no benefits can afford to go on?

ComedyBoobs · 30/01/2018 20:55

I don't think anyone will say YABU. It's a shit system. My ex pays zero maintenance & earns £100k pa..... CM are sorting it out, I've been told that for the past 6 months now.

fairgame84 · 30/01/2018 21:00

Nothing has changed then even though they have had an overhaul Hmm
In 2006 when I put in a claim I had to find out where ex lived and worked. He used to job hop and move house frequently and the onus was always on me to update them.
I never got a penny of the £4500 he owed me in arrears.
Completely useless service.

Original poster
Fullerhouse · 30/01/2018 21:16

Whe I first applied I gave them he's NI number and they found him and based on he's wages on he's 2012 tax Hmm it took weeks for my appeal and then they finally did it on the 2016 tax. he was due to pay 68 a week, he never paid so they finally after months and months went after a deduction to earnings order then they said he called them up and said he was no longer working. This was actually the first contact they'd had with him he always ignored their letters and calls, he then started working self employed and I kept hounding them but the same again I had to tell them where exactly, now they've done the annual review he's still "self employed" so no income is what she said, I said have you checked with the tax office then? She said yes we have 2016's earnings here and he called before to say he is no longer working, then she said I have to find out the company etc. She seemed very disinterested if I'm honest, I've felt with people here who seem very efficient then people who don't seem one bit bothered to listen and just repeat from a script in front of them. It's just all so unfair I thought there was meant to be a better system in place now so "self employed" parents can't dodge the child support anymore. Last year One guy I spoke to said they could get something similar to a deductions to earnings order but it's where they access the paying parents bank account and that's what he was going for then the next said sorry theres nothing more than can do and they weren't going for that. Angry

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.