My DS is 8 months old and has been baby-led weaned since he was a little under 6 months, when he was ready by current guidelines. He's also breast fed. He eats a varied diet through the day, and largely what we're eating, minus a few allergens and with less spice/etc. He eats as much or as little as he wants, minimal intervention, because I believe food is for fun for a few more months. And he does have what I'd call a healthy appetite. He's not afraid of asking for more, or pinching some of mine/DH's if he's not done.
We've had a rough month for sleeping - all three of us had flu early on in the month, and are still recovering from that, DS's been teething, he's going through a developmental patch if Wonder Weeks is to be believed... It's been everything all at once. The last good night's sleep he had was around Christmas, and he's slowly getting back to that stage. In the meantime, if he needs nighttime cuddles and boobs, I'm fine with providing them. He used to sleep through the night when he was tiny, but never fully recovered from a sleep regression around 4 months - every time he's come close, something else has happened to set him back.
Last night, DFIL called DH, as he does every week. And despite knowing all of the above, he asked if the reason DS isn't sleeping through the night is if he's hungry. I don't think there's any malice behind it, but I feel like it's constant. When we visited over Christmas, DFIL's DP kept telling us how much DS "needs" more food because he's dropped two centile lines since birth (genes catching up with him, DH is skinny, DS is skinny) - to the extent of being told just my milk isn't enough for him any more, even though he was ill at the time and that was all he wanted. This DP's daughter was weaned very early, eating full meals by the time she could sit up, and again, that seems to be a benchmark we're not reaching. Before my DS was ready for weaning she'd initiate long conversations about how weaning before 6 months never did her/me/other people any harm, like that would convince me to give DS food sooner.
As well as all this, DN is very close in age to DS and he's been more or less sleeping through since weaning (traditional, so he does tend to eat more than DS) and switch to formula, and I feel like we're being compared to that standard - even though they're more "cry it out" inclined and DH and I are more inclined to some of the principles of gentle parenting and comforting through the night even to the detriment of our own sleep. Different strokes etc, but that's also a factor in how they sleep. And they have very different personalities and needs. But a lot of the family attributes DN's sleeping to him eating so clearly we're not feeding our DS enough.
I'm not sure if this feels like a huge deal, but it is really starting to grind my gears. AIBU to be annoyed with how persistent this is?