Make up sex

[kokosnuss]

AIBU to hate it? After an argument, my confidence in either myself, him, or the relationship is shaken. For me, sex is an act of confidence, in yourself and in each other, which I don’t have at that time. What I want is reassurance and to talk it through, or to just let it lie and chat about normal stuff and have a laugh to get our mojo back.

But for men, sex seems to be the go-to? :S

That's a very big generalisation. I would say some men would like sex after an argument. So would some women. Same as some men want to talk things through / have some space just as some women do.

It sounds as though your dp / DH wants sex but it's fine to say you don't want it.

Indeed I know it’s possibly a generalisation - I guess what I was saying is that for him, the sex is making up, whereas for me, I need to make up first.

My husband feels the same as you so we've never had 'make-up sex'.

I think this is a relationship issue for you more than an AIBU.
You shouldn’t be engaging in any sexual contact that you don’t enjoy.