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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious that everyone wants to pass the buck?

15 replies

fzpotts · 30/01/2018 01:17

Posting here for traffic and also cos I really cannot comprehend that nobody seems to want to help.
I run a pub and on Sunday evening we had a gent come in. He was very unkempt and behaving a little oddly but nothing that rang major alarm bells at this point. He ordered a drink and sat down. Over the course of a couple of hours, it became quite obvious that he had some issues, with some odd behaviour (not drink related as he only had 2 pints and made it clear he was simply passing time in the warm).

He was pleasant enough when he approached us and we gleaned that he was planning on going up to the local McDonald's when he left us.

We chalked it up to the colourful tapestry of humanity and thought no more about it.

He's been in again tonight, and again it appears that he seems to have quite clear MH issues. We'd decided to try and find out a little more from him. Over the course of a few hours (he's extremely difficult to have a conversation with), he's admitted that he was working with a local ish organisation that provides support services and assisted living schemes for people with severe MH issues. It isn't clear why he is no longer in the housing as he got quite upset and agitated when he told us he wasn't with them and his behaviour deteriorated (think nervous tics, pacing, muttering and at one point he sat eating butter straight out of the tub).

He eventually calmed down enough to chat a little but wouldn't be drawn on any more personal info. He told us that as he wasn't in a supported living scheme he was warming up with us until we shut, then spending nights at McDonald's and that was where he was going to be living every night as long as poss.

At this point I spoke to a couple of our regulars as we were getting concerned about his welfare and about how vulnerable he was. The consensus was that we should contact adult social care and see if anything could be done to help him as he had admitted he was now homeless, and it was apparent that he had issues that hed probably need support with. By this time he had gone on his way to McDonald's having jumped in a cab, and saying he'd see us tomorrow.

Adult social care have said there was only 2 options, either he had to ring himself and request help or we had to ring 101 and ask them to do a welfare check as we were so concerned, they recommended the 101 option and said they could refer to oit of hours SS if he was indeed vulnerable.

Even if he does turn up again tomorrow, the chances of him being able to hold a phone conversation with them is virtually zilch judging by our interaction over the last couple of nights. So I rang 101, bearing in mind I had confirmed that he'd spent the last 2 nights at McDonald's and had said he was going there tonight (confirmed also that he'd been dropped there by the cab).

I explained the situation and told them that SS had said to ring to request a welfare check. After much talking with their superiors they said they couldnt do it and SS should have picked up the baton or we should ring 111 and ask for a medical welfare check.....

Well they also hummed and hawed and said either SS or call back if he turns up tomorrow so they can do a phone assessment.

I just feel like everyone is passing the buck. Since getting off the phone I've been told that he got very agitated when staff at McDonald's tried to chat to him on Saturday night and his behaviour got to the point, as he got more and more upset, that they threw him out.

Having interacted with him, it's blatantly obvious to me that this guy needs some help. He's obviously had it at some point to be under the care of the organisation that he was. But nobody seems to want to actually do anything. They all agree he's vulnerable and most likely needing help. Ive hit a brick wall and really don't know what else to do.

How can every agency agree he should at least be assessed but refuse to do so?

Any suggestions on how to proceed if he turns up again tomorrow?

TIA

OP posts:
Batmanwearspants · 30/01/2018 01:25

The issue with adults social care is that unless a person is assessed as having no capacity there is no much anyone can do if the person in question won’t actively seek help.

ScouseQueen · 30/01/2018 01:30

Could you contact your local homeless charity / shelter and ask for their help? There is one local to me where you can report the whereabouts of rough sleepers and they'll go and talk to them and offer help. This guy is effectively in that position, and those support workers will know how best to navigate the system on other people's behalf.

fzpotts · 30/01/2018 01:39

It's so frustrating Batman as nobody will actually take responsibility to assess him in order to determine his situation.

ScouseQueen that may be an option. I'll do some digging and see what is local. I do know of some volunteers who run a street kitchen in the nearest city at weekends. It's just so frustrating as nobody seems to want to even take one iota of interest beyond agreeing that he probably needs help..but that they can't or won't provide any. It was suggested by SS that I ring the organisation he was previously dealing with but thats virtually impossible to do as its in the next big city along and I also don't have a name to give them as he clammed up.

OP posts:
MrsCrabbyTree · 30/01/2018 01:41

Thank you for caring and thank you for your continued efforts in trying to get some help for this unfortunate man. Good on you. Star

tracymars · 30/01/2018 02:21

where I live there's a number you can call to report a rough sleeper and the charity sends an outreach worker to see if they can help. I called it once when I saw a homeless man, giving the location. The lady on the phone said she'd already been out to see him and he refused an offer of a bed. There's only so much these charities can do if the people refuse help. But they will be experienced in dealing with people with mental health problems. So see if you can find a local charity

Whiterabbitears · 30/01/2018 02:56

Well done OP for trying to help this poor man, I hope you get some good advice here. Could you contact your local mental health community team? He may be under their care?

Adarajames · 30/01/2018 03:03

Contact www.streetlink.org.uk/ as may be they can make contact and signpost to appropriate services

Jon66 · 30/01/2018 03:19

Unless he is a danger to himself or other people I doubt you will find any help for him. Sadly agencies are so stretched they will respond only to emergencies. It's been like this for 6 or 7 years now.

TournesolsetLavande · 30/01/2018 03:25

I can't help you with any of the information that you need but I feel I share your frustration and I just wanted to say thank you so much for bothering to try to get the right support for this man.

If it were up to me we'd have old fashioned asylums everywhere, the way it used to be. No-one like this would be on the streets. It's appalling that 'care in the community' means very vulnerable people are left to sleep rough.

The problem with modern MH services is that people who are far too ill to even recognise how ill they are will not engage, ask for help or take their medication and the system seems to be designed to be just fine with that, allowing these poor people to fall through the cracks until they eventually kill someone, or themselves. Then everyone sits up and takes notice, too little too late. It's heartbreaking to see someone clearly psychotic or delusional and knowing there is nothing anyone can or will do to help.

Butterfly1066 · 30/01/2018 03:26

Find out ur local safer
Neighbour hood policing team and speak to them

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/01/2018 03:27

I hope you manage to find some help for him. Good for you to reach out and assist him. Best of luck

fzpotts · 30/01/2018 15:25

Thanks everyone. Ive contacted the guys who do the street kitchen in the nearest city today. They live local to me so hopefully will have some suggestions. I've just realised I'm out tonight so may not see the guy. I'll have a word with the barmaid and see if she can glean any more info from him.

OP posts:
MavisPike · 30/01/2018 15:29

Thank God for people like you fzpotts

PinkHeart5914 · 30/01/2018 15:32

It’s very kind hearted of you to have tried to find some help, so many people just look the other way. Sadly however it is very difficult finding help in most areas due to cuts, even when people are a danger to themselves ( I’m not saying he is) it can be very difficult to find the help.

fzpotts · 30/01/2018 22:45

Well the local outreach team for local homeless didn't get back to me today, I contacted them after the street kitchen guy gave me details. The gent concerned has not been in today and nobody has seen him

OP posts:
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